We all are familiar with the negative impact anger has on our growth.
So many people (myself included, at times) find it difficult to keep themselves from saying/doing something stupid simply because they cannot control their anger.
Listed below, are the steps which could help you to manage your anger more effectively.
1) Decide Your Intention
To start your anger management, you don’t have to wait till the next time you get angry. In fact, we need to do a little homework beforehand.
I am sure, you must be familiar with the idea, that when you are in that state of intense anger during an argument with another person, you have this need to defeat him/her with your aggression. You feel that you should not give in or bow down. It is the other person that should give in. Not you.
As you may realize, this could be the case with the other person as well. So both are trying to beat the other down. When nobody steps back, we have these anger issues.
You need to make a choice. A conscious choice. Consider two options right now and decide which one is more important to you…. to do the right thing or to win this senseless battle of aggression. If you ever catch yourself in a state of anger, would you prefer to be the person who did what was right, or would you like to win the aggression battle.
The answer, as we all may understand, is to do the right thing. Winning the battle of aggression has no real benefit. Except making the other person feel horrible. And this is so wrong, especially if the other person is someone whom you love, like family.
2) Become aware of your anger
Having understood the idea that it is important to be sensible in your anger management, your next step is “catch yourself in the state of anger.” Now this could be a little difficult initially, especially if you are someone who has a low temper. You may need a little practise.
The key is to remember what you chose in Step 1 and keeping it in your conscious awareness. So that next time you get angry, the idea contradicts your behaviour and you immediately become aware of your anger.
3) Step back and Analyse
Once you have caught yourself in the prison of anger, it is time to start working on the locks so that you can break yourself free.
Once you are aware of your anger, you need to step back from the situation mentally. You stop yourself from current argument that you may be having.
Now, take this incident that set you off (made you angry) and consider it in the bigger picture of life. Analyse it.
4) Is it important enough?
Do you think this event is important enough to affect your mood in a negative way? Is it worth it?
Most of the times, it won’t be.
Because whether it was your friend who forgot to do the work you had asked him/her to do or it was your mother who forgot to put sugar in your milk, most of the issues are just not important enough to affect your mind.
5) Let go
Once you have realized that you don’t need the anger, you can simply let it go. You can stop right there. That is it.
Even if this means that you stop the argument suddenly. Even if it was the other person who actually made the mistake, you just cannot afford to bring negativity into your mind.
The locks have been picked. Run. Run. Run.
It is okay if you don’t agree with somebody. It is okay if you didn’t like what somebody did. It is okay, not to like any other thing. But you don’t need to lose your temper because of that. You don’t have to agree but you also don’t have to go crazy in anger.
Hope you find this helpful.
|Written on 2/2/2014 by Ankit Yadav. Ankit Yadav is a post-graduation student of Computer Science. He is passionate about personal development and loves to write about his ideas. His goal is to find meaning and purpose in life and help anyone and everyone who wants to do the same. You can follow his work on GrowConscious.com/email|
Photo Credit: Mi Amor