Dumb Little Man | Tips for Life

His best selling book, ‘7 Habits of Highly Effective People’ was sweeping the business and self help community. Everyone wanted to make the shift from quantity to quality. And it all seemed to rest upon the character of their staff.

Tucked away in an airport hotel conference room, I gathered with staff members from a diverse background of organizations. That first morning was the toughest.

We were uncomfortable, and of course we were all sizing each other up and comparing. By mid day we were split into teams and began breaking the ice. When we got to the seventh principal, “Sharpen The Saw” it finally began to sink in. Our lives are a direct reflection of the preparation we make to live; we have to sharpen our saw!

Sun Tzu, author of the famed ‘Art of War’ said, “Even the finest sword plunged into salt water will eventually rust.” We all are born with an innate ability, quality or gift.

But what separates the average and ordinary from those who make history and leave legacies is the time invested to hone those skills. If you’ve ever worked with a dull tool you know exactly what I am talking about.

Try carving meat with a blunt knife or cutting down a tree branch with a dull axe. The duller the tool, the more strength is wasted. By staying sharp, we keep an edge that makes us better individuals. We perform tasks with a certain pride that speaks from the place of our noble purpose.

Here are a few ways to make sure you are staying sharp:

• Staying sharp starts with a mindset that is active: In a society encumbered with 24 hour access to everything in the world via the internet, it is very easy to get home and simply want to ‘veg’ out on the couch. But a mind in motion tends to stay in motion. What increases our success is when we active mentally. Reading, family interaction and listening to audio books are a great way to stay mentally limber.
• Staying sharp gets easier with the right company: Essentially we are who we connect with. Whether for good or bad, our environment plays a major role in our daily behavior. If you want to get sloppy and dull, hang with people who have no drive or goals. They will influence you to slow down and smell life’s roses. At their pace, you soon find you are behind in pursuit of your dreams. That’s why we must be around those that challenge us, provoke us to excellence to do and be our very best.
• Staying sharp won’t always be comfortable: If you think about it, sharpening a kitchen knife involved a clashing. It is the friction that does the sharpening. So we need to understand that sometimes to grow, a mentor, a friend or co worker may need to brush against us to create the friction. This friction is what causes our growth. We are better because others held us to a higher standard and expectation. We can’t conceive development without it.

It’s been a few years and jobs ago since that eye opening session.

But through the years of working with customers ranging from patients at a hospital, brides needing wedding consultations to clients needing interior design suggestions I have held onto Mr. Covey’s principles. In particular sharpen the saw.

It’s helped me embrace some tough situations because I knew the friction was only making me better.

With this truth, I hope your perspective get’s a good sharpening.

See you at the TOP!
Early Jackson

1. Most people want to learn and are teachable

So often people are not given encouragement or feedback of any kind.  People get bored, feel unchallenged and are not supported in any way.  It could be an 11 year old boy not getting this support from his little league coach.

That 11 year old boy might eventually turn out to be an all star hitter someday but it’s usually because of external forces like private hitting coaches, practicing on his own, or simply playing for a more effective coach.  Often times they just get discouraged and give up.

2. You can’t motivate anybody but ...

You try the quick fixes to improve your environment but it doesn’t work.  Or you “shock and awe” by bringing in a specialist or radically changing processes and procedures.  You give out rewards and kudos for a while and motivation and morale goes up but then it falls back after a short time.

You’re pushing water uphill and all that’s left is the puddle at the bottom.  You need to change the culture of your environment and it’s always a lot of work.  That’s why some managers won’t or don’t do this.

3. Don’t reinvent the wheel – do what other successful managers do

Even if you don’t have a mentor or are unfamiliar with your situation you can always get off your butt and do some research.  There are tons of forums, support groups, books, periodicals and seminars you can access.

Anything from how to effectively coach an agent to setting up your business in the most efficient manner.  You have more of a support group than you think too.  Your IT department, HR Manager, and your peers can guide you.

Shut up and listen.

4. Put your own spin and flair on your job; personalize it

You will not stick to a diet if you don’t like the food.  Just because you’re copying a successful business plan doesn’t mean it has to be done just like your mentor or boss.

If you don’t make it personal to you then you definitely will resent it and at the worse stop doing it.  Your co workers will see your passion and be much more receptive if they see your buy in.

5. If it doesn’t work modify it or stop doing it

You’re making this mistake if it’s the path of least resistance. Maybe it’s working just enough to keep your boss off your tail but it will eventually lead to failure.

These are dynamic times; we wear many hats and have to adjust accordingly.  If it’s not working stop and think about your options.  Stop and ask for directions like your wife (or hubby) told you to do 5 miles back.

It’s okay to ask for help and different opinions.

6. Be consistent

This starts with a plan.  Consistency is much more easily maintained if there’s a focus that everybody involved is aware of.

Coaching and feedback, rewards and recognition and other daily events should always be on schedule.  Also be prepared for changes in these routines.

Hardly anything is written in stone but you certainly should keep everybody in the loop when things take a different turn.  Are you changing key metrics at your client’s last minute request?

Have a plan before this happens on how you disseminate the information to your employees and how you will handle any changes in their coaching and feedback for example.

Including frequency.

7. Be fair

There’s always some group within the organization that appears to be the golden children.  There’s also somebody that seems to get more attention and kudos than others.

Be aware of this.

It’s a tough situation to be in but you can definitely take the focus off of these people by implementing a solid recognition and rewards program and by having specific focus groups, responding personally to suggestions, and performing other actions that include ALL employees.

Just remember what you do for one person or group you should do something similar for others.

8. You need to understand sometimes people choose not to learn

Some people cannot or choose not to play ball.  They are most of the times the core of your toxic environment and it doesn’t take many of them to foul up the carburetor.

Even the best coaching and support system makes no difference in their performance and attitude.  You gotta have a system in place to weed these people from your organization.

I’ve not gotten into any specifics here because everybody’s environment is different.  But everybody can build off the same solid foundation of circles no matter where you are.

Take some time to draw on your own experiences from each of the above bullet points until you can come up with one or two examples.

It will only stick in your brain if you personalize it.  Take a chance and start changing some things that aren’t working for you now.

Beta test this at home it’s a great place to start….

He rarely fired anyone because they usually never made the same mistake again.

The thing that most people didn’t understand was that you could get away with almost anything as long as you were open and honest about it. It helped to be a high performer, but this wasn’t a necessity.

You could take a long lunch as long as you explained why you did what you did before or after the fact. You just better be sure that you beat him to it.

I went on a long lunch one day. I didn’t expect to take a long lunch, but I was with a friend and the first restaurant we went to was packed, so we tried going to another restaurant. The second option wasn’t any better, but we had to stay because option 3 probably wouldn’t have been any better either. I stayed out for 2 hours.

Luckily, I knew just what to do.

When I got back to work, here is what I did: I went into his office and asked him a question about our marketing plan, and he didn’t look up. Then I told him the story of my crazy lunch. He then looked up and launched into his own story about this waiter who messed up every single thing he ordered from the drinks to the appetizers to the main course. We laughed at this boob of a waiter and everything was cool.

We transitioned back into work, talked about a few ideas and I ran with the idea that he liked the best.

He didn’t mind that I took an extra lunch because he knew that I worked hard. He appreciated my candor. He also wanted someone to talk to and bounce ideas off of.

I understand what he wanted and expected and knew how to meet his needs. I messed up a lot, but I also tried things that brought me praise.

You have an opportunity to create a relationship with your boss that meets both of your needs. It’s not a one way street. Most bosses don’t want to just dictate with an iron fist. Well, hopefully yours doesn’t because if she does then it’s time to find a more flexible boss.

You don’t have to do everything your boss wants, but you do have to understand what she needs. Your boss’s core needs are going to keep you in her good graces, so you can do some of the cool stuff that matters to you.

5 Core Concepts You Need to Know

I’m going to break down what you need to know to manage your boss’s expectations. Remember that every boss is different, so tailor theses concepts to fit your needs.

1. Know Your Boss’s Needs

Your boss has her core needs at work. She knows what needs to get done and what can wait until next week. It’s your job to know what those things are, and make sure you do them. If you aren’t taking care of these core needs then you will cause a lot of anger.

The best way to understand your boss’s needs is to do two things:

1. Ask your boss what she needs.
2. Notice what makes your boss angry (and what doesn’t).

That’s it. Remember, actions speak louder than words, so watch her reactions to make sure you know that you are taking care of the important stuff.

2. Leverage Your Boss’s Moods

Your boss has her good and bad moods. It’s your job to be aware of how your boss is feeling. If she is in a testy mood then don’t take a 2 hour lunch. You may even want to take a shorter lunch to make sure you stay on her good side.

If your boss is feeling good, you know that you may be able to suggest a new project that you’ve been dying to work on. I had one boss who was always receptive to new ideas on Friday mornings, so I waited until that time to suggest new projects.

You have to work with what you’ve got. You can’t be blind to your boss’s moods. I had a co-worker who was amazing at this. He would avoid our boss at any sign of a negative mood. As soon as our boss would be in a good mood again, he would always schmooze. He knew how to leverage our boss’s mood in order to get the cherry projects.

3. Make Your Boss Laugh

The science of laughter is still a big mystery. No one really knows why we laugh. What we do know is that laughter bonds us.

When you make your boss laugh, you are developing a bond that helps you manage your boss’s expectations. If you can make your boss laugh then you will probably have an easier time talking to her.

Knowing that you can talk openly with your boss will allow you to talk about things you like and don’t like about your job. If you’re making her laugh, you are probably going to help create the rules of your job.

4. Appreciate Your Boss’s Sense of Humor

Being able to make your boss laugh is important to a good relationship, but it’s not always easy to do, especially if you have a stickler of a boss. The next best tool is to find pleasure in your boss’s sense of humor.

People love to make other people laugh. If your boss’s sense of humor is a little weird, then try to roll with it because it will make your job and relationship much more enjoyable and easier.

I had two co-workers who would laugh at all my boss’s jokes. In the beginning of my career I refused to laugh at my boss’s jokes. I was so critical of his sense of humor. It hurt my relationship with him. My two co-workers got along much better, so they got the less tedious tasks and enjoyed their work much more.

I’ve learned my lesson. It’s not about kissing up. It’s about appreciating the boss’s perspective. No one is perfect and we all tell bad jokes, but learning to appreciate the person for who they are makes a stronger bond and allows the relationship to become more of a friendship instead of a dictatorship.

5. Help Create the Rules

By now you can see where all this is going. The better your relationship is with your boss, the more you can manage his/her expectations. When you have a good relationship with your boss, it’s easier to explain your displeasure with certain work and it’s easier to ask for work that you enjoy.

Super star employees aren’t always the most valued employees. Running a successful company is a group effort. If you can’t get along with your boss, you are in for a rough ride.

If you want to be able to manage your boss’s expectations, you have to help create the rules of the game.

It’s never easy to say no to your boss, but there will be times when you just can’t do what is asked. You have to learn to say no in more subtle ways. When you can’t work late on a Thursday night, don’t just say “no.” Ask your boss if there are any other alternatives. Maybe you can work from home. Maybe you can offer a new timeframe. Maybe the work can possibly wait until early Monday.

You can do this when your boss knows you care about the work, but she also cares about you.

Putting It All Together

As any successful business person can tell you, your success comes down to relationships.

The better you are at forming bonds, the easier it is to leverage your superpowers.

When you are doing great work and your boss likes you, she will want you help set the rules of the relationship.

Consider the following:

1. Accept and face reality

Almost all emotional and mental struggles root from the inability or refusal to accept reality. If you continue to refuse the things life gives you, be it unemployment or other more depressing things, you can be stuck in the past and may not be able to move on.

This state is truly detrimental to not just one’s physical, but mental, emotional, and social wellbeing.

You must, in a way meet with and greet reality, however hard it may be. It is the first and foremost way to avoid the trap. Accept that you lost your job and that you may not be able to get it back. It’s hard. It hurts. But it’s the truth.

2. Go on and mourn

You will surely spend some if not many nights crying over it. But that’s ok. Allow yourself to “mourn.” It’s normal. It is better to let your feelings out rather than to keep them inside.

It would be very hard to hold on to a very strong feeling and keep it to yourself. If you do, you might explode! Once the bad feelings are out, you will feel a sense of relief.

You will feel that your burdens have become lighter. However, you must know when the crying, questioning, and mourning ends. You cannot spend the next six months lamenting. It will no longer do you any good.

3. Learn valuable lessons from the snake’s venom

It is pretty ironic that the only antidote to a snake’s bite is the venom itself. Learn from this very wonderful principle of nature.

When you lost your job, perhaps the very first thing that went into your head is: How will I be able to provide for my family? Just the very thought of your children, spouse, and other loved ones going hungry and homeless can make you insane.

But, do not let this ruin you, instead, make that a reason not to be weak and be overcome by this hardship. They will be hungry, they can go homeless, but only if you’d let it happen.

Make that fear an antidote. Convert that problem to a solution. Turn that nightmare into a motivation to go on with your life and find a new job or another source of income.

4. Assess and improve your way of thinking

People lose their sanity because of the way they think. The statement “It’s all in the mind” can be very powerful in helping you cope up with unemployment and keeping your composure.

You can and will be “destroyed” if you think of detrimental things.

On the other hand, you can be healed, be made full again, and cope up with life’s challenges if your mind is full of uplifting, motivating, inspiring, great, and other positive things. I know it is easier said than done, but at least it is true.

We truly mirror what we think of.

5. Be thankful for what you still have

You may have lost something very important to you but do not discount all the other important things you have – your family, friends, health, and you could go on and on.

List them all down and you may be surprised at how long your list can be.

That list will give you no reason to let yourself go idle and rot. As what they always say, “When a door closes, a window opens!” And take note; there are more windows than doors in a house, if you know what I mean.

6. Get moving!

After you have reflected on things that matter and given yourself some time to destress, there is only one thing to do – move!

Go job hunting again. It’s like going back to basics, but it’s part of the process. If you feel employment does not work for you anymore, try self employment. Discover other talents you may have.

You may land in a totally different field than that of your previous work, but it’s not a problem as long as you are happy and you are able to provide for your family again.

It can be tough to look for a good source of income, but just remember, for every tough thing we accomplish or achieve, a great reward awaits.

It’s ok to have a hard time thinking and looking for something financially rewarding because we are not given rewards for doing very easy things.

Your whole workday is ruined and you feel like leaving to go home early.

The collision of two worlds

Facing negative feedback is never easy. No matter if the feedback is constructive, it still may be very hard to swallow - especially if we receive it after some hard work and we think we have done our best to accomplish a task.

When you face negative feedback, two worlds collide: your expectations, their expectations and how the two don’t match.

This collision is inevitable, when your expectations of your work, your skills or yourself are out of sync with the external expectations of you. You might also find it shocking that the output you generated was not enough, no matter if you thought it was almost perfect.

Even if the feedback is given to you in a constructive manner, you may still think it’s unfair towards you and you may get very emotional in front of the person who gave you that feedback.

This makes the situation even worse.

Are you ready to face the criticism?

At some point, you are going to have to face criticism in what you do. However, what makes the difference between the ones who succeed and those who don’t is the way they handle criticism.

The people, who are going to fail, are taking the critique very personally and fail to take corrective action based on the feedback. They think that the person who gave criticism is wrong and doesn’t know what he/she is talking about.

On the other hand, the people who are successful understand that feedback is required in order to grow. It can also improve your results and let you become even more successful.

In fact, if you are receiving feedback, you should be grateful for it. Appreciate the fact that someone gave you valuable advice on how to become better in what you do or how to achieve better results in your work.

Learn to listen carefully

Although hearing feedback is never easy, it is necessary for our growth and development. In order to handle the feedback in the right manner, see it as constructive criticism.

If the criticism is unjustified or goes to a personal level, then it should be ignored.

Appreciate the feedback and the fact that the other person was willing to give it to you. Especially if the feedback is coming from someone who you look up to, so you should be genuinely grateful for him/her.

Even though appreciation plays a big part in how you handle the feedback, it is not enough. In fact, what you do (or don’t do) next plays a big part how helpful the feedback turns out to be.

It’s your responsibility to take action after receiving feedback from your actions or from your work. Otherwise the time spent on the feedback is wasted and you won’t be able to improve as quickly as the reviewer wanted.

4 tips for handling criticism

In order to handle the criticism better, remember these steps the next time:

1. Appreciate. The number one thing to do is to appreciate the feedback, since it is a great way to improve yourself and your actions. Feeling grateful helps with handling the criticism - it makes accepting it much easier.

2. Take it constructively. Take the feedback as constructive, not as damaging. There are times when you might receive feedback which is not justified, but those cases exist far less than the constructive ones. Understand the value of criticism and that it is a great way to reach success faster. It’s much better to receive it, rather than to live in your own fantasy world thinking that everything is alright.

3. Say thank you. Genuinely thank the person who gave you the feedback. Really, say it. Sometimes the person might be surprised at this behavior, but his/her feedback is really a useful tool for creating something much better in the future.

4. Take action. Finally, the feedback is useless if it’s not acted upon. That’s why it’s important to implement the points that the other person gave you the feedback about.

The faster you take corrective action, the better. 

Otherwise there is a great danger that you are never fully learning about the feedback that was given to you.

Over to you: When did you receive negative feedback the last time? How did you feel? How did you handle it?

Share your experiences in the comments below.

 ... Gives you a chance to fix mistakes

Getting work done early gives you the opportunity to get some distance, meaning you are more likely to pick up on mistakes or biases.

Writing in panic mode just before a deadline means not only are more mistakes made, but there is no chance to put them right.

... Reduces stress

We’ve all had times we’ve stressed about a piece of work for weeks before writing it hurriedly in the last couple of days.

The way I look at it now is that, if it has the potential to only take a couple of days, why not just write it and relax the rest of the time? Think of it as doing your future self a favor.

... Gets it done while it's fresh

There’s nothing like getting something done while it’s fresh. Writing up formal appraisal notes straight after a meeting means you can rely on your memory as well as your notes. Writing them a week later means a risk of not being able to decipher your scribbles.

If you hand in an expense report as soon as you return from a business trip it means there’s less chance of you losing the important documents and receipts.

"But I work best under pressure"

Getting work done early is very rare in today’s workplace.

There’s almost a badge of honor awarded to those who pull passable work out of the bag at the last minute, spouting the classic phrase 'I work best under pressure.'

My first thought is always “but how much better could you have done it if you’d given yourself more time?”

My advice to those who work better under pressure is to manipulate the situation to put pressure on yourself… but still get it done early!

Scheduling your whole day or week’s tasks is a quick way to realise you can’t afford to procrastinate on any of them, and means that a report that could be stretched out to take a whole morning when you’re not considering other demands will get done just as well in two hours.

Being early for work...

... Reduces stress

The number one benefit of getting to work 10 or 15 minutes early is that it sets you up with a sense of calm for the rest of the day.

You give yourself the time to regroup after your journey, have a cup of tea, and be ready at your desk as everyone else arrives in a panic at 9.

Arriving to work at the moment you have to start can give you an extra bit of stress that lasts all day; the value of being calm and organised at the start of your shift is unrivaled.

... Gives you a buffer zone

Planning to get to work early will, of course, give you an important buffer zone against unexpected transport issues.

Most managers will accept a missed alarm or late train as a one-off reason for being late to work, but once it starts to happen regularly, you need to realize you should be getting the earlier one.

... Gets you noticed

Another benefit of being early for work is that it will be noticed. If your organisation works different shifts, being there without the rest of your team means staff from other parts of the organisation will notice you and think well of you.

Being early also may give you a chance to speak to your manager, informally or formally, without the demands of the rest of the team getting in the way.

Being early for meetings...

... Allows you to get the best seat and build relationships

If you get to a meeting early, you’ll get to choose the best seat for interacting with the rest of the group to the degree you prefer.

You give yourself the chance to get to know other potentially influential members of staff who you normally don’t interact with outside of meetings.

… Gives you time to prepare

If you’re leading the meeting then it’s even more important to be early. There’s nothing worse than stumbling into a room full of people who have been waiting for you to start: they’ll feel that you don’t value their time and you’ll be flustered and unprepared.

Getting in early means that you’ll be ready to take charge of the meeting, you’ll appear comfortable and relaxed and be perceived as reliable and in control.

... Gets you noticed (again)

Being early for meetings sends a clear message: it makes you stand out from the crowd as someone with commitment to the task at hand.

As long as you are using that early-time in a professional way, and not using it as an excuse to escape other work, you will be noticed in a positive regard.

Even though you are working, you are still giving the impression that you are available for others, since you work in the same space.

When someone talks to you during these moments, you are not fully focusing on the person. Needless to say, this makes him/her annoyed.

You are also annoyed, since you are not getting your work done because others are distracting you.

Seems like it’s a problem you have to fix. And indeed, there is a way to do it.

Wrong Place at the Wrong Time

When you work in a place where others are spending their time too, they think you can be disturbed. They also think that you listen to them whenever they are talking to you.

But by being in the wrong location at the wrong time, you’re sending a false message to your family members, and this causes friction.

Since you also pretend to be present while in reality you are not (since you are working), it’s the best way to get others annoyed and confused: They don’t know if you are in work-mode or in socializing mode.

The location is the key to your confusion, but there is also something deeper that causes this friction with you and other family members.

The Illusion of Being Present

All this comes down to an illusion that you have inside your head: That you can do work, while being fully present with your family. In other words, you feel you are capable of multitasking.

Of course, this isn’t so and you can probably tell by the reaction of others and the work results you are getting.

This multitasking happens between roles. On the one hand, you are a business owner doing your work while at the same time; you are a father/mother, who is trying to spend time as much time as possible with his/her family.

Although in normal circumstances these roles are fine, you shouldn’t be mixing them. The fact is that you can only focus properly on one role at a time.

Since you now understand what the root cause behind the confusion is, you can start looking for some advice on how to prevent this from happening in the future.

Setting Boundaries

To clear up this situation, you have to be completely honest with yourself: No matter how much you’d like to do so, it’s just impossible to handle two things (roles) at the same time.

You’ll also have to “isolate” yourself when you are working.

In this context, the isolation means that you need to set up a dedicated workspace when you work. You need to physically be in a different location, so that it’s easier for your family members to recognize when you are available and when you are not.

This also prevents you from socializing with your family members while you work and they are less likely to distract you, since you are in a different physical location than they are.

Finally, you should define clear times and schedules when you do your work. This ensures, that others know when you are in work mode and when you shouldn’t be disturbed.

With these steps, you can clear up the confusion, focus on your work, but also be fully present with your family when you are not working.

How to Be 100% Present With Your Family

The next thing to do is to put all the pieces together into step-by-step instructions that you can follow right away.

The steps are as follows:

1. Change Your Mindset

Understand that you cannot multitask and be effective at the same time. In other words, don’t try to do two things at once, even if you think that’s a great idea.

Simultaneously socializing with your family and focusing on your business just doesn’t work.

2. Isolate Yourself Physically

Decide on your working location carefully. If you have your own room, then try to do your work there whenever possible.

If you don’t have any dedicated place in your home to do your work, then seek out places outside your home, such as:

• A Library
• A coffee shop
• Outside in nature (if the weather permits and you have the internet connection available)
• A hotel room
• A co-working space
• A full-blown office space

Finally, you can also work without any dedicated space in your home, but this means that you can do it only when your family is away or sleeping.

3. Define Your Working Times

It’s also important to define your working schedule and communicate this to other family members.

You can even put the schedule visible in a calendar where others can see it. In that calendar, try also to include a place where you work - especially if it’s outside your home.

This way everyone knows when and where you work and there isn’t any confusion over that matter.

In Conclusion

It’s very easy to think that you can do productive work while socializing with your family at the same time.

However, multitasking with two roles at once makes others confused and you can’t dedicate yourself to either one of the roles 100%.

That’s why it’s important to have a dedicated space where you can work with the defined working hours.

This way you are sending the right signal to your family and there is much less confusion and annoyance all the way around.

Over to you: How do you make sure you are 100% with your family?

Too often in our work environments, we are put in high-pressure situations.

As the stress that comes with this begins to weigh on us, we quickly forget how to communicate with each other.

The true point we’re trying to get across is misconstrued, causing additional conflict between two people who are supposed to be working together.

We have to be able to put our differences aside and say, “Listen, I’m a human being. You’re a human being. Let’s get on the same page here.”

By doing this, we can focus on the main issues at hand. We can then figure out the cause and effect of the problem, accepting responsibility when needed without making the other person “wrong.”

Keep Your Cool

When dealing with conflict, you must first analyze the type of communication you’ve established within your company.

Make sure everyone agrees to step up and accept responsibility for his or her part.

If you begin by establishing this type of relationship, as opposed to one filled with blame, you will find that conflict is at a minimum.

However, when conflict does arise, you have to be conscious of the fact that it tends to escalate quickly.

When this happens, one party in the relationship inevitably feels as though he is being attacked. Both people get defensive and begin to feel resistance toward one another.

When both parties are being fueled by this emotional standpoint, nothing positive is accomplished. This is the time to step back and start the conversation over before things crumble too quickly.

The Main Issue at Hand

When you’re engaged in a heated conflict, you often get emotional and forget that the goal is to solve a problem.

When you get emotional, you bring a personal agenda into the conversation. You want to be right, meaning someone else has to be wrong. This solves nothing and exacerbates the problem.

The best thing is to avoid making others feel as though they are wrong.

Instead, really take a look at the cause of the problem you are trying to solve and approach the problem as the enemy, not your co-worker. This way, you can analyze a situation with your emotional blinders off.

At Odds with Your Boss

The rules of communication change between an employee and a superior. In that situation, you have to realize that viewing another person as “wrong” is a big problem – for you.

We are all human beings. We are physical, emotional, and intellectual, and when it comes right down to it, we all want the same things.

This is important to keep in mind when in conflict with anyone, but especially when you are in conflict with your superior.

It is also important to realize the following:

• When working with someone who is superior, remember there’s a reason he holds that position. You may not agree with it, but it exists and deserves your respect.
• He deserves respect in his position, just as you deserve respect in yours.
• Accept responsibility for what you've done; know what the result needs to be.
• Realize that the main objective in resolving any conflict is figuring out how to work together.

Stop thinking under the headings of “right” and “wrong.” When you’re willing to compromise, communication will flow much more smoothly.

Right and Wrong

All arguments stem from one person needing to be viewed as the one who is correct, thus making sure the other person is incorrect.

This need to be right is saying, “I see myself as being inadequate.” Making somebody else wrong is all about seeing yourself as superior. Both motivations come from low self-esteem.

We have to forget about blame, and instead look at how we can be solution-oriented, reach the main objective, and both win.

Whenever there’s a breakdown in communication, you have to step back and ask yourself, “What part do I play in this?”

Accept that you are fifty percent of the problem in some way, shape, or form. Often, we deal with people who have different value systems than we do.

You can really get in trouble by going into the situation trying to follow your set of values, refusing to see things from the other person’s point of view.

Successful communication is never about winning an argument. It is about calmly coming up with a plan of action.

Accept your responsibility, formulate a plan, and be willing to compromise.

Just as Reagan did with Gorbachev, you sometimes have to step back, collect yourself, and start over in order to truly solve the problem at hand.

Anyone would have looked at my life two years ago with envy.  I had a PhD to my name and was selected as one of the top scientists in the entire U.S. Air Force.

I had great bosses who loved my ideas and were prepared to open doors.

Unfortunately, what really got me excited was the thought of taking a day off.

All the accolades and promotions couldn't overcome the sense that the life I wanted for myself was passing me by.

What I learned the hard way is that success isn't something you toil to achieve, it's something you discover and unleash.  And it's much easier than you think.

You may have heard there's no such thing as an overnight success.  Not true.  You just need to follow these four simple steps.

Step 1: Define your core values

Your core values shouldn't resemble the mumbo-jumbo most corporations develop.  As Steve Pavlina says, “Values are priorities that tell you how to spend your time, right here, right now.”

If you're yearning for something better, it's not that you haven't achieved your grand success yet.  More than likely, you're not living in accordance with your core values.

For example, one of my core values is "Family first."

To some, that might mean making it home to tuck their kids into bed.  For me it meant I wanted to be present for the large and small.  If I miss too many scraped knees or tea parties with the stuffed animals, a part of me is going to feel like a failure.

The key here is not to just pick words that seem important.  You have to define what they mean to you.

You should know whether you're living up to your values or not.

Step 2: Find ways to be proud of yourself

From a very young age, we learn the value of pleasing others.  And because those rewards are so powerful, it's really easy to lose sight of what makes you proud of yourself.

In fact, when I did this step myself, I was shocked to discover most of my proudest moments came from my childhood.  Apparently as I became an adult, I stopped taking the risks that were more likely to make me proud of myself.

When thinking of your moments of pride, don't overlook the smaller moments of your life.  For example, one of my proudest moments was starting a school newspaper as a fourth grader.

I love the fact that I was motivated by curiosity and excitement, not impressing anyone.  My ability to inspire the other kids to join me and work hard on producing something of value was an early indicator that community building is close to my heart.

You don't need someone to bestow success on you.  Once you get in touch with the kinds of activities that make you proud of yourself, chances are you can start doing them tomorrow.

Step 3: Discover your motivation

There are two kinds of motivation: intrinsic and extrinsic.  The former is when you're motivated by the activity itself, whereas extrinsic motivation is when you're motivated by the outcome.

For example, one fisherman might be motivated by the peace and quiet of being on the water, and doesn't really care if he catches anything.  Another might be motivated to win the local contest and get his picture in the paper.

Intrinsic and extrinsic motivation aren't mutually exclusive, but when it comes to our careers, most of us focus on extrinsic motivation to a fault.

We evaluate jobs primarily by how much they pay or how prestigious the company is.  We mark a successful entrepreneur solely by their bottom line or the celebrity of their clients.

Let me be clear: there’s nothing wrong with making money.

I’m all for it.

But I think we’ve got it all backwards. We chase after jobs that pay a lot and hope we like them. I think we should chase after jobs we love and hope they pay a lot.

The best way to do that is to find work that satisfies both your intrinsic and extrinsic motivators.

Step 4: Connect the dots and live it

Now you need to pull together the ideas from the previous steps and write what is likely your very first personal definition of success.

You don't have to include all your values, motivations, or moments of self-pride--just the ones that are essential.   Mind-mapping is an excellent tool for making sense of the various pieces.

As you evaluate what to include, I tell clients to ask themselves, "If you didn't have this element, could you still feel successful?"

My own definition of success looks like this:

First and foremost, I will infuse my family with love, kindness, and attention.

A thought-leader in my field, my ideas will inspire a new reality, not necessarily on a grand scale, but in a way that builds community and impacts the lives of those I choose to serve. I’ll feel excited, fulfilled, and energized to overcome necessary challenges and take new risks.

Creating my own definition of success changed my life.

It gave me a vision for the life I wanted to lead and the excitement I needed to pursue it.  It served as a warning light whenever my overachiever nature focused on status over serving.

Best of all, I became an overnight success.

I could stop beating myself up over all the things I hadn't yet achieved.  I could stop chasing the numbers and start living the dream ... today.

My success happens one person at a time.  One client landing the job of their dreams, one daughter eager to include me in her world, one face in the mirror, smiling and satisfied.

What about you?  Share your definition of success in the comments!

When you’re looking to hire an expert you want to make sure you've done your due diligence by vetting their information and learning as much as you can before and during the interview.

Here are five things I've learned about hiring the right person for the job and bringing in well-rounded member to my team:

1. Admit that you know nothing. 

In life and in business it’s important to admit when you have no clue what you’re doing, or exactly what you need.

You need to hire people who know more than you do. You’ll also save yourself a lot of money, time, and brain damage by seeking advice from other people in different fields.

For instance, if you’re looking to hire a programmer, then talk to another programmer you know. Ask about that person’s job and what’s expected.  Getting a good feel for what another job entails is key to understanding and setting expectations for your new hire.

2. Find someone that’s more bite and less bark. 

We’ve all been romanced by someone who whispers sweet-nothings but delivers… nothing. You want to find someone who can do what he says.

If you have an open sales management position, and plenty of applicants with tons of experience on paper, then the interview is where it all comes together. If one applicant endlessly gabs on about himself and talks about the great things he has done, you might want to thank him politely and show him the door.

That person may be an excellent product or service salesman, but that doesn’t make him a good sales manager. In this instance, the right applicant for that position is going to talk about the team, not just the wonderful things he has done individually.

3. Hire for passion AND what’s on paper. 

A lot of times you can’t see passion on a résumé, but you do see it in the interview. You want someone who is knowledgeable, teachable, and has an unquenchable thirst to learn more.

You wouldn’t hire someone who can’t tie his own shoes to go run a marathon for you; the right candidate knows what he is doing.

Passion creates aptitude, but you need someone who has both already. This is the best hire: an expert who will constantly become an even greater expert.

4. Trust but verify. 

If your dream candidate walks through the door and everything looks good on paper, you still need to do a bit of homework.

Just because someone has been able to do smaller project quickly and efficiently doesn’t mean that he can handle a bigger project, with an even bigger budget, and a tighter schedule.

By verifying a candidate’s information and checking references, you will know more about him when it comes to job performance. It’s not just okay to ask for help when verifying - it’s essential. Ask other experts you know for help evaluating (see above, “Admit you know nothing”).

5. Remember, there is no “I” in team. 

Assuming your business is one where the employees have to interact with each other, the most important part should be hiring a team player. You want someone who plays well with others, knows his job, and, in general, is a nice person. The ideal candidate is going to have all of these traits and more.

We’ve all worked with someone who wasn’t a team player, and it just leads to misery in the work place. Because work hours take up a lot of our waking hours every week, creating a positive environment with positive people is where it all begins.

As your business grows, and you start hiring experts to fill out your team, remember that the five helpful tips to set you on your way.

By admitting you are not an expert, finding someone who can put their money where their mouth is, hiring passionate people, verifying all of their information, and locating that team player, you will find smart people – this just might make you smarter too!

There are going to be times when we can't be at work because we have to care for a loved one or deal with a personal issue.

There are going to be times when we miss out on a fun event because we have to focus on a work deadline.

Balancing work and the rest of your life is no easy task.

We all make mistakes and we all are forced to make unpleasant choices from time to time, but the key is to do the best you can.

And, to help you do that, here are eight tips for balancing work and life.

1. Decide what's most important to you each day. 

Each morning (or, better yet, the night before) think about what you really want to accomplish that day. Is the most important thing completing a big project? 

Attending your child's piano recital? 

Setting aside some time for you? 

Try to narrow your day down to a few important tasks. After those tasks have been completed you can then move on to less pressing things.

Remember to think about the day in terms of your whole life—family, friends, you, work, etc. I'd advise keeping one planner or organizer for everything so you're sure not to miss anything important. Deciding what's most important every day helps you to gain focus and to tackle the most important tasks.

There are plenty of things I put on my "To Do" lists that really don't need to done immediately. Of course these shouldn't be ignored, but make sure you do the most important things first.

And, in order to do them first, you have to know what they are so take some time—just a few minutes out of your hectic schedule—to identify what really matters today.

2. Try to keep everything very, very organized. 

Now, this is advice coming from someone who loves being organized.

To me, organization is effortless because I've been doing it all my life. In fact, when I'm not organized I feel panicked and unsettled (yup, that's the perfectionist in me coming out!). As much as I adore organization, I understand it doesn't come easily to everyone (or almost anyone I know!).

For some people it seems like it's the absolute hardest thing in the world, but believe me, it's worth the effort.

Think about how much time you'll save if you know exactly where everything is.

As a basic principle, everything in your home and in your workspace should have a place and you should do your best to always keep something in its place (yes, this is much more difficult when you are living with other people and/or have children, but do the best you can).

When you know where things are, when you can actually see your desk or your bedroom floor, you'll feel a lot better about everything. 

Trust me. 

Organization cuts way down on stress because you know where to find things and you don't have that frazzled, where-are-my-keys feeling. There are tons of great resources online for organization and I highly suggest you check 'em out if you're having trouble in this department.

3. Delegate as many tasks as possible to others. 

I am a terrible delegator. If I have to get something done—whether for work, for a party, for a friend or family member, etc.—I want to do it.

I feel if I give someone else a task I need to do it won't be done the way I want it to be done so I have a hard time delegating.

But delegating can be an absolute lifesaver when you're dealing with an overwhelming, action-packed life. Think about all of the tasks you do every day (write 'em down if you have to) and then consider who would be able to do these for you. 

Could your kids pick up some of your slack when it comes to cleaning the house? 

Could you afford to hire a housekeeper if it'll keep you saner? 

Can you ask your spouse to take care of something that you usually handle? 

Are there people in your network always asking to help but whom you always turn down? Whatever you do, don't turn down help unless you really, really need to do a task yourself.

Don't feel guilty if you can't do it all yourself either. 

Almost everyone who's working (and especially those freelancing!) has a million things going on and can't do everything all the time.

Look around—I bet you there are a lot of people who would be willing to help you out if you just let go of control a bit and realized that delegating doesn't mean you're not doing a job well.

4. Give yourself mini-breaks whenever you can. 

No matter what your job is or what's going on in your life, you deserve a break. We all deserve to have a break every once and awhile. 

Ideally I would suggest taking a vacation from everything—work, family, friends, etc.—and spending a nice long time relaxing solo.

However, this is probably isn't possible for most people (especially if you are working as a solo freelancer), but there are alternatives—"mini-breaks," if you will. What is a mini-break, you ask? Well, a mini-break can be anything you want it to be!

That's the beauty of it!

A mini-break can be a walk around the block at lunch, a day off of work (kid-free), a night out on the town, or an afternoon spent outdoors. 

A mini-break can be a spa day, a weekend getaway, or a stop on the way home for a much-deserved snack. 

A mini-break can be a quiet night alone, a small party with friends, or a morning sleeping in. A mini-break can be whatever you want it to be—but whatever it is it must be a break. 

You need to take a step out of your routine and relax for a bit. It may seem like, with a million things going on, you really can't afford to spend time being unproductive, but when you take time to relax and refresh yourself you'll be a much better friend, family member, and significant other—and you’ll be more productive when working.

5. Make every moment of the day count. 

When we're dealing with a day, we're dealing with a mere twenty-four hours. And, if you're anything like me, you like to spend a lot of those hours sleeping, which leaves us with not all that much to work with. Which is why it's so, so important to make every moment count.

For example, let's say you have to close your office door in order to work and don’t get to spend as much time with your children as you would like.

At the end of a long day, you only have time to read them a story and tuck them in before you crawl into bed yourself. Sure, that's not ideal, but you can make the best of it. If you only have an hour or two with them, make that the best hour. 

Do your best to put your other responsibilities and tasks aside for that period of time and focus on spending time with them. The same goes for your work. 

When you're working, focus on the task at hand. Give yourself a specific amount of time to work on a project and devote all of your attention to it, pushing from your mind whatever personal issues you might currently be dealing with.

We can't be everywhere at once, so focus on being where you are right now. When possible, isolate yourself in a space that allows you to focus on the present moment—work in your office, spend time with your children in their playroom, eat dinner in the dining room.

Having set areas for specific tasks will help you stay focused.

6. Negotiate your workload. 

A lot of places seem to becoming more and more flexible with the way work is conducted. Because of this wonderful invention we call the Internet, people can work from home or on the road or in a different country, which can be a good and a bad thing. 

Your clients might find lots of ways to be involved in your process without the limitations of being in their own office. But it’s up to you to manage expectations.

When you begin a project, clearly state when you will be available and when you will not. 

Also set reasonable expectations as to when the project will be completed—and don’t be afraid to ask for more time if you think it will take you longer than they would like.

You want to do the best work possible, and you should make that clear to your client. In addition, try negotiating household chores, tasks, and duties with the members of your household. Can your roommates or significant other take on a bit more of the work?

Can you figure out something that you could offer in return for more of the chores being done by someone else (for example, a raise in allowance for a kid who makes sure the house is tidy)?

A word of advice: be prepared. 

If you go to your client or roommate/significant other with a negotiation, make sure you have solid support for your suggestion. Providing reasons for why you need more time or help will help you get what you want—and ultimately make for better work on your part.

7. Don't put off things you can get done today. 

If you can do something right now, do it. Usually things we put off are things we can get done right now. Don't put something off until tomorrow because you "don't feel like doing it." 

Not feeling like it is not an excuse. Some things can't be done today (such as those that require input from another person or appointments that can only be scheduled on a specific date), but a lot of the tasks we face on a daily basis can be done today and should be done today.

Whenever it's possible, I do my best to finish a task by the end of the day so I can start new tasks the next day.

The same goes for personal situations and relationships. If you want to have connections with others, you have to put in the work. 

Don't put off sending an email or calling a friend. Don't cancel plans if you can help it. If you aren't terribly ill or completely worn out, make sure you use the time you have after finishing your work for the day to be productive with life activities. Spend time with friends.

Snuggle with a family member. Call up your parents just to chat. Unless it's literally impossible to do it today, don't say, "Oh, yeah, I'll get to that tomorrow..."

8. Allow yourself the freedom to say "no." 

While I personally need to work on saying "yes" more often, I think a lot of people have trouble saying "no." When a friend or family member asks you for a favor it can be really hard to say "no." 

When a client asks if you can take on another project it can be even harder to say "no."

But it's okay. It's okay to tell others that you can't take on anything else. It's okay to admit that adding one more thing to your workload is going to send the quality of your work (and your sanity) down the drain.

Personally I'd much rather someone say "no" to a request of mine than have my request bring added stress and unhappiness to his/her life, and I'm sure you feel the same (and keep this in mind when someone says "no" to you and you don't understand why).

It's not easy to admit that we can't do something (especially when we want to), but if you become the "yes" guy or girl people will always come to you with requests and then you will completely overwhelmed and, eventually, you won't be able to handle the pressure. 

It's much better to say "no" every once and a while and keep yourself balanced than it is to say "yes" to everything and feel like you never have time to relax. When you receive a request, seriously consider if you can do it. If you can't, be nice, be honest, and just say "no!"

Wrap Up

As I mentioned above, it's not always possible to have a perfect balance. Sometimes work is going to be a priority. 

Sometimes family and friends will come first. It's not easy to balance it all—especially when you’re working as a freelancer.

However, it is possible to have some amount of balance in your life—and a great deal of that depends on you.

You must set expectations and manage not only your clients, but your friends and family as well.

As difficult as it can be at times to keep everything in perspective and balance work and life, it’s possible do so and, with the help of the eight steps listed here, I know you can do it!

But consider this. Maybe, just maybe, it's not delegation that doesn't work, but the way you delegate that doesn't work. Read through the 13 warning signs below and see if you find yourself in any (most?) of them.

1. You delegate too much at one time

For many of the clients I work with, delegation is only attempted when they've become completely and utterly overwhelmed. As a result, the things they give others to do are delivered in rapid fire succession, like a drive-by shooting.

The problem is, like a drive-by shooting, an employee doesn't feel empowered to act, but assaulted with a list of things to do that gets added to their already long list. And your delegated tasks go to the bottom of that list, not likely to get done any time soon.

The solution to this problem is being strategic with your delegation. Planning ahead and taking time with the assignments you give so they actually get done. That's the point, right? In short, slowing down to move faster.

2. You expect people to read your mind

The next warning sign that what you've delegated won't get done is when you delegate without being clear about what you really want accomplished.

Recognize this scenario?

“Hey Jan, could you do this for me, please? Thanks!”

Jan, eager to get ahead and look good in front of her boss, accepts the job, even though she has no idea what the job entails. The more time goes by, the more frustrated and confused Jan gets, but manages to actually get something done.

Unfortunately, the work Jan does in no way resembles what Jan’s boss had in mind, and, instead of giving Jan another chance with better instructions, Jan’s boss takes the job away from her, fiercely determined to never delegate anything again.

A least not to Jan!

Note this well: People can't read your mind when you delegate something to them. Take time when delegating anything to clearly define what actually needs to get done. Apart from this practice, you really aren't delegating at all but merely dumping on people.

3. You delegate without a due date

When people receive a delegated task, in their head they're starting to shuffle the deck.

What I mean by that is any new task being asked of someone gets added to a list of things that already exists for them to do. The recipient must figure out how to fit that new task into their already full schedule, so they sort through the "cards" of their day in search of where to place it.

When no due date is given a delegated task, or at least agreed upon between you and the person being delegating to, guess where your assignment goes?

Yep, to the bottom of the deck!

4. You delegate without following through

Here's the brutal reality of leadership: people don't listen to your words, they listen to your actions. So if you give someone something to do, but never follow up on it. That action--or the lack of it--is listened to loudly and clearly.

And the message people hear is this: When you ask someone to do something, you're really not serious about it. You're just kidding.

The problem is, you may be deadly serious about needing a project to get done, but without following through, you communicate that you aren't by your very actions.

Inspect what you except. Even if it's a five minute progress report. This kind of accountability sends a powerful message that you're a leader focused on action and will help your people fulfill their best intentions.

5. You delegate to the wrong person

Often in the desperate hunt to find someone to do things we no longer have time to do, we pick the first person who makes eye contact with us that day. And this person, desperate as well to make a good impression on us, agrees to do it.

But they're the wrong person. Ungifted or unskilled (or both) in doing what you're asking them to do.

In defining what needs to be done for the successful completion of a task, take the extra step to identify what skills and abilities are needed to succeed in it as well. Never force a square peg to fit into a round hole, you'll destroy both the peg and the hole in the process.

6. You view delegation as an event and not a process

The biggest challenge I face with my clients in the area of delegation is their perception of it. They see delegation as an event where something they need done is given to someone else to do. But, again, this really isn't delegation, it's dumping.

Real delegation has a five step process that looks like this:

 Step 1: I do.
 Step 2: I do, you watch.
 Step 3: We do.
 Step 4: You do, I watch.
 Step 5: You do.

The first step of delegation is the realization that you are doing way too much. You know what that feels like, and so do I.

The next step, however, is not giving some of those things to someone else to do, but simply having them watch you do it. From complicated tasks, like executing a sales cycle, to setting the office alarm, people need to know what a good job looks like before they can do that job well.

Then move forward in delegation, doing the task together and watching the other person do that task themselves, giving appropriate feedback. When all these steps are completed, delegation is also complete. So, too, the tasks being delegated.

7. You delegate without adjusting your leadership style throughout the process

When you look more deeply at the five steps in the delegation process outlined above, you'll notice that throughout the process leaders need to adjust their style each step along the way.

In the early stages of delegation a leader brings more direction to the table, more instruction and demonstration. In the middle stages of delegation, an effective leader's style becomes more collaborative with a mutual interchange of ideas and decisions.

Then, in the end, less is more as a leader releases a person to take actions on their own and keep them informed on what they are doing.

Failure to adapt your leadership style throughout the delegation process short circuits the development of your people and, in the end, leaves you doing everything yourself.

A genius with a thousand helpers is still a genius. He or she just isn't a leader.

8. You delegate without explaining why something must get done

The brilliant Victor Frankl, survivor of the Nazi death camps, once said, "He who has a why can endure any how."

Many of the tasks you're delegating are difficult and challenging, or conversely repetitive and routine (a different kind of challenging). But they still need to get done. Right?

Tie each task you give others to do into the  big picture of the vision of your company--its why--so that your people have a cause that empowers them to endure the how.

In this way execution is just as much about emotion and it is about action. Providing a meaningful purpose for action powerfully engages people's emotions and is a hidden driver of effective delegation.

9. You delegate without delegating the appropriate level of authority

Another element of delegation that needs to be determined is the level of authority being delegated to complete the task at hand. Lack of clarity on this can lead to delegation disasters.

Here are the four levels of delegated authority a person may act within:

 Level 1: Do it.
 Level 2: Do it and tell me what you did.
 Level 3: Do a part of it and talk with me before doing more.
 Level 4: Decide on what you plan to do and go over the plan with me before you do it.

These are vastly different levels of authority, from free reign to close monitoring. Deciding which is appropriate, based on the complexity of the task and the experience of the person being delegated to, establishes important  boundaries within which a person may act. A lack of boundaries like these paralyzes your people.

These levels of delegated authority, as with one's leadership style, should also adjust throughout the delegation process. In this way a person is free to do what they need to do without checking with you first, unless, of course, checking with you first is what you need for them to do.

10. You only delegate down and not up or sideways

Delegation is not limited to being applied in one direction only: from you to your employees. You can delegate up to your manager and delegate sideways to your peers. Wise leaders know which direction to go when a job needs doing.

Specifically, there may be tasks that would take an employee hours to do, and perhaps never get done, that someone else in the organization can accomplish in a matter of minutes.

Not because they're better than that employee, but because they're much better positioned in the organization to accomplish the task. Part of picking the right person to delegate to is picking the right place in the structure of your company to look for that person.

11. You close a meeting without using the three W's

The most efficient way to utilize delegation is in a team meeting. Instead of having a dozen one-on-one sessions, a team meeting allows you to talk with a dozen people at the same time, and, just as important, for them to talk to each other to coordinate the details of delegation.

Most team meetings, however, are poorly led, go over their allotted time, and end frantically with everyone racing off to the next meeting. Opportunity lost!

Here's how to prevent that:

• Wrap up every meeting 10 minutes before its scheduled ending point.
• Review all actions items discussed in the meeting
• Make sure every action item is defined by Who is going to do What by When

These three W's, Who is going to do What by When, are the backbone of effective delegation and work amazingly well as the wrap up to all business meetings.

12. You open a meeting without reviewing the three W's

Again, team meetings are the very best place to utilize delegation. At the start of a meeting, however, people are eager to jump in to new business. Who doesn't like to discuss new things?

Don't! At least not yet, anyway.

First, review the action items from the last meeting and the three W's related to them. By doing this you make a statement that you are a serious leader (Remember, actions speak louder that words), and begin to build a culture of accountability in your company.

13. You delegate without celebrating past success

What's the best way to ensure that something you need done is completed over and over again?

Reward it. Simple, right?

Positive reinforcement encourages your people to take those actions again and again. Yet most leaders, upon the successful completion of a project, move on the the next big thing.

And, at some level, leadership is about the future and not the past. So I understand the impulse to move on to the next big thing. But consider this: You can't drive a car down the road with an empty gas tank.

Recognition and reward, even something a simple as a thank-you note, fills people's emotional gas tank and empowers them to keep going, even in the most difficult of times.

Conversely, if your employees don't think you appreciate what they do, their gas tank will run dry and their car will stop completely.

Here's the bottom line

“Getting things done through others is a fundamental leadership skill. Indeed, if you can’t do it, you’re not leading,” declares Larry Bossidy and Ram Charan in Execution: The Discipline of Getting Things Done.

Delegation is how you get things done through others. Master it and you'll become the leader you know in your heart you can be.

Pick one of these warning signs to work on each week for the next 13 weeks. Master it and move on to the next one. In just 90 days you'll be a much better delegator and a much better leader.

Your people will thank you!