Dumb Little Man | Tips for Life

Feelings such as worry, fear, guilt, shame, sadness, anger and frustration can become toxic and like negative waste to the body. If they are not let go of, they build up, causing emotional constipation.

We end up lugging around the equivalent of a bag of crap strapped to our backs,which weighs us down and can easily end up spilling on to other people (by blaming, lashing out and projecting), because there becomes too much for us to manage.

To free yourself, you must choose to put down the bag of crap.

Take responsibility for your own well-being. Give yourself the freedom to let it go and express it in a healthy, safe manner without judgement, shame or blame for what comes out – remember, most of it is just crap.

Like our digestive system, we do need to clear the build-up of emotional waste every day if we want to feel truly happy and healthy.

Here some simple ways that you can help yourself to release your energetic waste and soothe your body to re-establish balance.

1. Strong, deep breathing
   This is the body’s most obvious mechanism to let go of stress and tension; the intake of oxygen, which is then taken into the blood and sent to the muscles, cleansing any toxins (built-up tension). The out-breath lets go of some waste.
   
   By taking long, deep breaths with the conscious intention to both breathe in fully and then completely let go of waste we can quickly alter our emotional and physical state. Try counting for four deep, long in-breaths through the nose and out through an open mouth, deliberately making a noise as you do so.


2. Get active
   Tension is blocked emotional energy, which can build up in our muscles in key areas, such as the legs, shoulders, neck and back as a response to our nervous system and the impact of stress hormones produced every day in the brain and body, which are continuously responding to life’s stresses.
   
   The body needs to be active to release the blocked energy and change it into kinetic energy (movement) to flow freely once more. Try walking, running, dancing, gardening or swimming – anything that gets your heart pumping and muscles working.


3. Beat up your bed or go boxing/kick-boxing
   Don’t be afraid to physically release your anger, as the body is naturally designed to let it out. However, do take responsibility for being an adult and do it in a safe, contained way.
   
   For example, join a boxing or kick-boxing class, or you can beat up your bed; pile up your duvet and pillows and, using another cushion, vigorously beat up the pile and give yourself permission to add some verbal expression too. [Bed beating is also a great, safe exercise for children and teenagers to release frustration.]
   
   NB: Tidying up your bed afterwards is important to help you calm down and re-settle. DON’T FORGET TO BREATHE.


4. Scream, shout and swear
   Verbally express your frustrations and tension in the privacy of your parked car, in a field or by the sea – just open your mouth and express yourself freely and loudly without judgement, blame or shame about what comes out.


5. Scribble
   Get some paper and strongly colored pencils or pens and simply allow yourself to scribble like a kid, with enthusiasm, and fill the page. Ensure you make a mess on the sheet and keep going until your arms are tired. Then rip the sheet up into tiny pieces and throw it away.


6. Write in a journal
   Use a private book that you can free-write in about how you feel and what is annoying you or stressing you. Don’t worry about spelling, grammar or handwriting; just jot down your thoughts without censoring them. Ideally, writing with pencil/pen and paper is much more effective than typing on a computer.


7. Passionately sing along to emotive music
   Let go of negative energy and feelings by singing along – loudly, with expression – to songs that mean something to you.


8. Have a good cry
   Tears are not shameful or weak; they are simply a natural form of cleansing to release tension, so give yourself permission and the space to cry. Perhaps you could listen to emotive music or watch a sad movie to help put you in the mood.


9. Laugh
   Watch something funny that is guaranteed to make you laugh. You could also try going to a comedy night. Give yourself full permission to belly-laugh and express your laughter openly without shame or embarrassment.


10. Meditation
    Meditating can sound difficult, and people often struggle with focusing on their breathing, so I would suggest doing this after having physically released some tension.
    
    Just sit quietly in a chair, close your eyes and focus on what you can hear inside yourself and outside yourself, for a count of five slow breaths (listening to some soothing music can help). Then focus on what you can taste for five breaths.
    
    Next, focus on what you can smell as you breathe in and out through your nose for five breaths. Then concentrate on what it feels like to be sitting in the chair, in contact with the chair, for five breaths, and then open your eyes and look around with concentration while taking five final breaths.


11. Talk to someone
    A problem shared is a problem halved’. Talking honestly and being listened to by someone we trust allows us to express the energy we feel in our emotions. Rarely do we need advice; often, we just need someone to really listen to us.


12. Give and receive hugs
    When we have warm physical contact with another being we trust, whether that is a human or an animal it soothes our nervous system, by stimulating the body’s natural love drug (oxytocin) which slows the production of the bodies stress drugs (cortisol and adrenaline) resulting in deeper breathing, lower blood pressure and relaxation.
    
    Having a massage is a good substitute for this, and can be beneficial for both releasing muscular tension and soothing the nervous system.


13. Have a bath/shower
    Water is very soothing for the whole body, so take some time to relax in a warm bath or shower. Perhaps light a candle in the bathroom, play some relaxing music, surrender to the feeling of the water and close your eyes.

Take responsibility for your well-being.

Prioritize this and regularly make the space and time to do one or more of the items from each section listed above, so you don’t end up dumping your crap on other people.

Most importantly, you can once more feel like yourself: emotionally healthy, balanced and able to cope with life again.

Things you can do while watching TV:

• Fold laundry - Plop the basket beside you and fold while you watch.


• Iron - Drag the ironing board and iron out into the living room and turn that mundane task into something that's a little more bearable.


• Give or get a massage - Lay on the couch or get on the floor with your significant other and give a back rub or foot massage. At each commercial break switch it up just to keep it fair.


• Stretch - Get down on the floor and stretch your legs, your back, and your arms. You'll feel great and if you're an avid TV watcher I'm pretty confident your flexibility will improve in a matter of a few weeks.


• Write out a meal plan for the week - Brainstorm some meal ideas for the coming week. You can take it a step further and create a list of go-to meals or meals you can make ahead and freeze.


• Brainstorm for a new business, a holiday, or activities to do with the kids - Don't filter ideas just write them down as they come to mind. Sometimes the best ideas come to us when we're not focused on finding the best ideas.


• Write out your Birthday cards or Christmas cards - Don't wait until the last minute to get your cards done. For most of us it takes quite a bit of time, so doing even a few each evening can lighten the load.


• Put pictures in a picture album - I'm sure I'm not the only one with a tub full of pictures that I don't know what to do with. Grab the tub of photos and start putting them in photo albums. If you want to sort them first, use a few nights of TV watching to do just that.
  

Things you can do during commercials:

• Pack the dishwasher - It doesn't take long and even if there is a pile you can do it over multiple breaks. Don't have a dishwasher? No problem. Break one: Fill the sink with warm soapy water and let the dishes soak. Break two (maybe three): Wash the dishes. After that dry them and put them away. Done.


• 10 sit-ups 10 push-ups 10 squats - TV watching is a sedentary sport. Get on the ground and get active during the commercials. It doesn't have to be much just move.


• Take out the garbage - Grab a garbage bag and go throughout the house emptying the smaller bins into it. Take the full bags outside to the garage or back door for garbage day.


• Do a quick reset of the room you're in - Commercial breaks aren't long but it's amazing how much you can get done. Pick up shoes, toys, books, magazines, dishes etc. and put them where they belong.


• Address a letter, stamp it and put it in your bag for tomorrow - Mailing letters is one task that seems to continually slip my mind. Use the commercial break to put your letter or bill payment in an envelope address it and put it in your bag so you can mail it tomorrow.


• Drink a glass of water - If you're like most people you're not drinking as much water as you should be each day. Get a tall glass add ice and fill it with cold water.


• Floss your teeth - This takes very little time and is something most of us don't do often enough. It's a little action that can be great for your health.


• Dust the furniture in the room you're in - Grab a microfiber cloth, an old sock or damp rag and run it over all flat surfaces in the room. Get under the keyboard and the DVD player. Get the top of the TV, picture frames and the backs of your chairs.


• Clean a bathroom - Fill the sink with warm soapy water, spray the tub and toilet, let it soak until the next commercial and it'll clean up super easy.


• Make a sandwich for tomorrow - The key to a smooth sailing morning is to start the night before. Make a sandwich or put together a salad, dole out some yogurt and grab a piece of fruit throw it in your bag for tomorrow and you're set to just head out the door!


• Bathroom break - Enough said ...


• Send a quick email - 2.5 to 3 minutes is usually long enough to get an email put together, if not you could get a good first draft started at least.


• Read a few pages of your book or a blog post - Hit the mute button grab your book or fire up your feed-reader.


• Write your to-do list - Give a bit of thought to what you'll do tomorrow. Think about errands that need to be run, calls that need returning, gifts to be bought and what to have for dinner.


• Choose clothes to wear tomorrow - Run to your room and decide what to wear tomorrow. Choose clothes that fit you well and that you feel great in.


• Let the dogs out - Most dogs will jump at the chance to get outside even it's only for a few minutes. Do it.


• Purge a drawer or filing cabinet - Choose a drawer that's close to where you're sitting and pull everything out of it. Toss or recycle what you don't absolutely need and put items you no longer use, need or like in a pile to donate. Put the remaining items back in an organized manner.


• Make your bed - Even if it's half an hour before bed go and make it. It's awesome getting into a bed that's made the sheets pulled tight, comforter straightened and the pillows fluffed up a bit. Heaven.


• Make a quick phone call - Call your mom, your sister, your brother or friend and make or confirm plans for tomorrow.


• Get changed into work out clothes - If you've settled in for a night of TV odds are you won't be too excited about the thought of exercise. During the first commercial break get changed into your work out gear so by the end of the show you're good to go for a bit of a work out.


• Get a healthy snack - Grab a piece of fruit, trail mix or yogurt. Make healthy choices, keep your snack size to something smaller than your fist to keep you from over-eating and eating mindlessly.


• Press mute and just sit in silence - There are very few moments during our day when we can truly sit back and enjoy the silence. Press mute and just enjoy how quiet and still everything is around you.

There are a lot of ways to be productive with very small bursts of time. Sure, you can Tivo your way passed the commercials but you may just be fast forwarding by a quick opportunity to get something done!

Choose one or two items on this list to do each evening and you just may be surprised at how many little extras you can get done.

But here’s the problem – who has the time? It would be great to spend two hours each day at an ashram or a retreat center, sitting on a meditation pillow in serene silence. But most of us have jobs to go to, families to care for, and errands to run. In the midst of the chaos of daily life, we simply don’t have the luxury of meditating all day like monks in a monastery.
There is, however, a simple solution to this problem. It requires that we rethink the very nature of meditation. It requires a shift from “monk-style meditation” – where meditation occurs in isolation from the rest of our day – to “anywhere meditation” – where it occurs in the midst of life’s chaos.

We don’t need more time to meditate. We just need to learn to meditate in any situation – not just at a yoga studio or on a mountain retreat but in a traffic jam or an airport security line.

This is the kind of practice that Ralph Waldo Emerson describes in “Self-Reliance.” As he says, “It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.”

How do you bring meditation into the chaos of daily life?

It’s All About the Breath
You can get lost in the details of meditation. You can become obsessed with posture, mantras (repeated phrases), and mudras (finger locks). But reduced to its essence, meditation is all about the breath. We always breathe, but, when we meditate, we breathe consciously. We bring our awareness to each inhale and exhale. So while you may not be able to sit in lotus pose during a board meeting, that doesn’t mean that you can’t meditate.

No matter what the situation, you can always bring attention to your breath and work toward lengthening each inhale and exhale. No one else even needs to know you’re doing it.

Finding the Gaps
All of us, no matter how busy, have small gaps in our day that are perfect for meditation. It might be the five-minute wait in line at the grocery store, the 10-minutes you spend stuck in traffic, or the two minutes you spend waiting for your computer to start up. In these moments, try shifting from frustration to meditation. Try bringing your attention to the breath and using these gaps as unexpected opportunities for calming the mind and body.

Meditative Multitasking
Finding gaps in the day gives you a time to go fully into meditation. But you can also bring meditation into almost any workday task.

Take meetings. In my experience, most meetings only require about 50% of our attention. You need to keep tabs on the flow of the conversation and offer your input when needed. But this leaves about 50% of your attention open for meditation. So rather than getting bored, try meditating. Experiment with bringing your attention to the breath as you follow the flow of the meeting. With practice, you can learn to meditate while doing just about any task – while checking emails, talking on the phone, or commuting to work.

You may never have a two-hour chunk of each day to devote to meditating. You may never have the time to sit cross-legged on the banks of a river or on the beach for hours each morning.

But if you master the art of “anywhere meditation,” that shouldn’t stop you from spending hours each day deep in meditation. The key is to shift from meditation as a separate activity performed in serene settings to meditation as a moment-to-moment way of being.

What do you think? Have you experimented with this shift from “monk-style meditation” to “anywhere meditation”? It's super simple so why not give it a shot?

Surfing the web is the other leisure time trap. The freedom to surf from one site to the next can give you a momentary rush. But the more you get lost in email, Facebook, and Twitter, the more your brain and nervous system must remain “on.”

The big idea here is that it’s not just work that drains us. It’s also the way we “relax.”

What does actual relaxation look like? Consider three key practices of radical relaxation: movement, stillness, and breath.

1. Movement
   If you’re like me, you spend 98% of the workday sitting. All of this sitting leaves the body tired and tense. The muscles of the hips lock up, the legs get stiff, and the shoulder and neck muscles strain. If you want to dissolve this tension and relax, sitting is about the last thing you should do. You need to move.
   
   As long as you are moving, it doesn’t matter what you do. You might walk, run, ride your bike, dance, or do yoga. The goal is simply to get a fresh supply of blood and energy to all those areas of the body that tense up during the workday.


2. Stillness
   Once you move the body, practice experiencing stillness. This isn’t just about finding stillness in the body. It’s the practice of finding stillness in all areas of life. To be still is to experience a pause in the constant stream of thoughts. To be still is to give your nervous system a rare chance to let go.
   
   There’s no single way to experience stillness. You might find it in a 15-minute meditation practice. You might find it while lying on the ground outside, looking up at the stars. You might find it stopping at the half way point of a run or walk to check out the view. Or literally stopping to smell the flowers.
   
   The goal is to give yourself the rare experience of nothingness. No stimulation. No deadlines. No effort. No strain. By coming into stillness, you can begin to experience a truly radical form of relaxation.


3. Breathing
   Move, get still, then breathe.
   
   Breathing is to relaxation as wind is to the waves on the ocean. The calm breeze creates stillness. Chaotic gusts create storms, swells, and tidal waves. Likewise, calm, deep breaths create relaxation and stillness. Tight, choppy breaths create agitation, anger, and fear.
   
   So the most powerful way to relax is to bring your attention to the breath. Ask yourself throughout the day: what is the quality of my breath right now? Is it short and constricted? Or is it long, deep, and effortless?
   
   If you’re like most people, you will find that your post-work breath matches your inner state. If you feel tired or irritated, your breath will feel anything but deep and effortless.
   
   The good news is that since your breath matches your inner state, all you have to do to relax is change your breath. Simply bring your attention to your breath and consciously shift it. Extend each inhale and exhale, inhale deep into your belly, and allow yourself to relax.

The most difficult part of radical relaxation isn’t the actual practice of movement, stillness, or breathing. It’s breaking out of our habitual attachment to non-relaxing forms of “relaxation.”

So next time you come home from work and grab for the remote or reach for the laptop, catch yourself. If you really want to watch TV or surf the Internet, then make a conscious choice to do it.

But if you want to relax and recharge, consider shifting from digital distraction to radical relaxation. Instead of TV and the Internet, consider movement, stillness, and breathing.

I’m curious to hear what you think. What does your practice of radical relaxation look like?

When you’re fifteen, an eccentric like Radio Bill, who’s living on the fringe of “normal”, is not to be trusted.

Now, nearly thirty years later, I’ve become my own version of Radio Bill. I wonder if perhaps he was onto something important. Maybe he had wisdom that none of us in high school could have begun to understand or appreciate.

Like Radio Bill, I walk (or run) all over the neighborhood, almost always with my earbuds in my ears and my iPod on my hip. I walk mostly alone - a watcher, rather than a joiner. I can often be seen with my camera, oblivious to the world while I get lost in the simple beauty of a flower or leaf. I’m sure, to the local high school students, I look a little eccentric watching society from the fringes and not always participating in the things that seem “normal” to them.

Thankfully, in the years between high school and now, I’ve learned to care a lot less about what makes me seem normal. I have also learned that there is great wisdom and strength in being a walker. Radio Bill and Forrest Gump definitely knew something that the rest of us forget as we climb into our cars and rush to our next destination.

Walk to improve your health
The most obvious argument for walking is your health. Walking may not get as much buzz as running or yoga or high-intensity workout programs like “The Shred”, but a regular walking routine helps strengthen your heart, alleviate depression, prevent diabetes, and strengthen your bones. Research shows that postmenopausal women who walk approximately one mile each day have higher whole-body bone density than women who walk shorter distances, and walking is also effective in slowing the rate of bone loss from the legs.

Walking helps your brain too. In a study on walking and cognitive function, researchers found that women who walked the equivalent of an easy pace at least 1.5 hours per week had significantly better cognitive function and less cognitive decline than women who walked less than 40 minutes per week.

Walk to slow your pace
We live in a fast-paced world. In our schedule-oriented lifestyles, the clock is our greatest master. We have deadlines to follow through on, appointments to attend, expectations to meet, meals to cook, classes to attend, kids to chauffeur to soccer games - you name it. Our brains barely know how to slow down because of the high level of demands placed on them.

Walking forces you to slow down to a more human pace. It gives you breathing space between the appointments and deadlines. It provides badly-needed balance for your body and your brain. It takes you away from the over-stimulation of the wired world and gives you stillness and space for reflection and contemplation.

Maintain life at a fast pace without finding any balance, and you’ll soon face burnout. Learn to slow down through walking, and your body and mind will thank you.

Walk to enhance your creativity
“It is on these walks that my best ideas come to me. It is while walking that difficult clarity emerges.” Julia Cameron, Walking in This World.

When we get too busy with “doing” and don’t dedicate enough time to “thinking”, we lose our creative edges. We start pumping out widgets just like everyone else in the assembly line instead of focusing on the next innovative idea that will replace the widget.

Walking is all about creating space for “thinking” that has nothing to do with “doing”. When you walk, your mind has time to meander down different pathways than the ones it normally gets stuck in during more productivity-oriented activities. Your mind doesn’t have to fill itself with concerns about whether the erratic driver next to you is going to cut you off, or where your next turn-off is. All you need to do is put one foot in front of the other and let your mind wander down paths of its own.

There’s a difference between a rut and a groove. A rut is an old pattern, formed from many, many years of doing things the same way again, and again. When we rely on high speed transportation because that’s the acceptable and fast way to get from destination A to destination B, we get stuck in ruts. A groove, on the other hand, offers us flow and opportunity, like the grooves on an old LP. When we get into a groove, magic happens. Walking gets us out of the ruts and into the grooves.

Walk to gain new perspective on your surroundings
“Nothing brings home the beauty and power of the world that we live in like walking.” Julia Cameron, Walking in This World.

There’s nothing like walking down a street you’ve driven down a thousand times to make you realize what you’ve been missing all of these years. Maybe you missed the quaint little coffee shop tucked in behind the hardware store. Maybe you missed the wild crocuses growing at the edge of the vacant lot. Maybe you missed the poster on the community bulletin board advertising an art show you’d love to visit.

Walking offers us opportunities to savour what we otherwise take for granted. It also helps us see the world differently than most other people do (especially those rushing past in cars). Throughout history, people who offered prophetic wisdom that shifted cultures were often pilgrims and wanderers - people walking different paths than the majority of society. Like Radio Bill, they were the watchers rather than the joiners - the witnesses at the edge of the crowd.

Like the simple wisdom that emerged from Forrest Gump (remember “Life is like a box of chocolates”?), walking may open your mind to new nuggets of wisdom and new perspectives that help you influence the world in positive ways.

Walk to engage with the people around you
Although I normally walk alone, I also cherish the many wonderful conversations I’ve had while out for a stroll. When I go on business trips, for example, I always find myself walking through interesting neighborhoods in the cities I visit. Walking affords me the opportunity to connect with the local people in ways that faster forms of transportation do not. While walking, you can stop to chat with the man tending the flowers in front of his house, or the woman hanging a poster in a shop window. You can learn interesting things about people and about the neighborhood that you’d never learn in your car.

Even in your own neighborhood, walking affords you tremendous advantages that you just won’t get in a car. You’ll get to know the neighbors better if you walk past their houses and stop to say hello. You’ll know more about the local businesses and what they’re offering. You’ll understand the challenges your neighbourhood is facing and you’ll see yourself in the picture more.

It’s easy to separate yourself from your community when your regular routine is to hop into your car and leave the neighborhood for work, shopping, entertainment, etc., but when you walk, you build connections that will benefit both you and your neighbors.

Walk to deepen your spirituality
“It is while walking that I experience a sense of well-being and connection, and it is walking that I live most prayerfully.” Julia Cameron, Walking in this World.

In almost every faith tradition, there is some version of a pilgrimage. Most pilgrimages end in some sort of Mecca or sacred place. In Spain, for example, thousands of pilgrims walk the Camino de Santiago, an 800 kilometer walk that ends at a cathedral built to honor St. James (of Biblical tradition).

Pilgrimage is seen as a way of getting closer to God. There’s something about the contemplative speed of walking that still attracts many people who feel themselves disconnected from their spiritual centers.

You don’t have to go to a foreign country to go on pilgrimage. You just need to walk in a contemplative, mindful way and open yourself up to the spiritual connection that the walking can offer. It may not meet the definition of a traditional pilgrimage, but a walk through your neighborhood park can do a lot to connect you with nature and with God. In some neighborhoods you can find labyrinths that have been designed specially to help you make your walking more contemplative.

Just walk.

The beauty of walking is that you don’t need any special equipment (just a good pair of walking shoes), you don’t need to take any lessons (you’ve been doing this since you were in diapers), and you don’t need to pay for any club memberships. Just tie up your shoelaces and walk.

You probably won’t walk across the country like Forrest Gump, but you might soon find that you’re healthier, happier, and more connected with your neighbors and your own spiritual center.

Heather Plett and “Team Juggernaut” have committed to walking the 100km Kidney March for all these reasons, and to raise much-needed funds for kidney research. As part of their fund-raising, they’ve launched KidneyRaffle.com. From June 7th till 9th they’ll open the “donate-as-much-as-you-wish-when-you-enter” raffle for entries and you can stand a chance to win over $12K worth of awesome online personal and professional development prizes from your favorite teachers and authors. 100% of your donations will go to the Kidney Foundation. Help them spread the word about KidneyRaffle.com and you’ll get 12 inspiring best-selling author podcasts in return!

Prolonged periods of working without rest wears you out, without you even realizing it. Before you know it, your productivity is waning, you feel tired more easily and you are on the verge of breakdown.

When that's happening, you're entering burnout mode. Burnout is common among working level executives, freelancers, self-employed, entrepreneurs and students, because you're directly responsible for everything and there are no work processes to guide you. Many people who are burned out for prolonged periods sink into depression which can be tough to deal with.

Below are 7 essential steps to avoid burnout.

1. Plan ahead
   Have a clear schedule. One of the biggest reasons for burnout is lack of proper planning. Thus, you over-commit yourself, sometimes having multiple deadlines running in the same time. This leads to late nights and high stress levels later on.
   
   Prepare a schedule that shows what you have to do on a monthly, weekly and daily basis. Create an overview template where you can see your upcoming commitments at a glance. That way, you know periods when your plate is full and periods when you can slot in more work. Leave sufficient lead time for each project.
   


2. Set aside non-work/leisure time
   Work can never replace what non-work activities can give you. For those of you who love what you do for a living, you probably just want to do it 100% of your time (apart of sleeping/eating). I know I feel that way as I absolutely love my work. I feel 110% blissful and excited just writing personal development articles day after day, working on my blog and doing 1-1 coaching with my clients.
   
   However, there are areas of your life that can't be fulfilled by just work alone. They can only be fulfilled by non-work activities. For example, activities like time with your loved ones such as family and friends. Time with yourself, to go for a quiet walk or pursue your other hobbies and interests. Exercise sessions where you rejuvenate your body and mind. Vacation to take a break and regroup. These activities are important, quadrant 2 tasks, essential for your well-being. They should be planned in your schedule too and shouldn't be deprioritized for work. Set aside some time every week where you can work on your relationships, your health, recreation and your spiritual self.
   


3. Define clear expectations with others
   Often times your colleagues, manager or clients have sudden, last minute requests where they need your assistance. This ripples out and causes a backlog in your own work. Without enforcing your boundaries, these will keep happening in the future. Let them know your commitments at the on-start so all of you can plan accordingly. Of course, it'll be hard to enforce this 100% of the time especially if you're working for someone, but clear communication will help move there. You have your boundaries and it's up to you to enforce it.


4. Stop overworking. Have a clean cut off for work
   Set a clean cut-off for your work. If you set aside X-Y time for a project, then make sure you end at Y time. Don't let it seep into other items on your schedule. If a particular task is taking way longer than expected, you're probably not going to get much done with the extra hour or 2. Stop working on it and get back at a later time or tomorrow where you'll have a fresh mind. I know I'm a lot more productive when I do that.


5. Cut off the 'busy work'
   There are always fire-fighting activities and administrative tasks in every line of work. Eliminate them as best as you can and get right to the content creation. What I do is I write down all the things I intend to do for a day, then I circle out the high value tasks - 20% tasks on the list that give me 80% of the value. Then I focus on them for the day. As for the remaining 80% tasks that give me lower value, I either put them off, delegate them or outsource them. When I do this, I feel I accomplished a lot more in the day. Otherwise, I get stuck in the 80% tasks that give little rewards, which is highly unproductive.


6. Talk to someone
   Having a listening ear helps you to sort out mental clutter. If you're feeling overwhelmed, share it with your friend. Ask him/her out and have a chill out session over drinks. Or give him/her a ring and just chat on the phone. You don't have to be alone in this. You'll be surprised at how ready your friends will be to listen and be there for you. You can also talk to fellow colleagues, and even your manager/teacher if you need advice from someone of experience.


7. Maintain a healthy lifestyle
   Working under crunch deadlines, you might often forgo sleep to get work done. At first it seems like it's okay - you can just recoup lost sleep by sleeping more the next day. However, the impact of lost sleep piles up over time, to a stage when it weighs heavily on you.
   
   Don't take your health for granted. Please make sure you sleep at least 5 hours every day. Having a proper diet and exercise regime is very important too. I used to take my health for granted, easily having days of not sleeping when I have a project deadline/workshop the next day. Now I don't do that anymore because I realize it takes a toil on the health in the long run. Proper scheduling (Step #1) is important to make this step a success.

How about you?
Try the 7 steps above to avoid burnout. Do you have any personal experiences with avoiding burnout or dealing with burnout? Feel free to share in the comments area.

Anger and impatience wear on our hearts and our minds and our families. When we are in control of our emotions, we get more done, we communicate better, and we lead more productive, purposeful lives.

Here are twelve tips for keeping your cool and staying calm amid life's situations – both big and small.

1. Strive to not catastrophize
   It's easy to dramatize and make something a bigger deal than it is. When you are relating the problem to yourself, avoid the urge to magnify the negative. Strike the words always and whenever. You might feel like Stuart Smalley, but it can really help to re-frame the problem in your mind by saying things like "I can cope," "It's not that big a deal," and "I'm bigger than this."
   


2. Think before you Share
   Don't describe or blog or tweet about the problem. Don't talk it over with your friends right away; let it stew a little in your mind so you can settle down a little. Sometimes, well-meaning friends will sympathize too much, which may only add fuel to your fire and get you even more upset.
   


3. Discover metaphors and visualizations that help you stay calm
   Here's one that helps me: I try to imagine my problem as a knot. The more I panic and pull on the ends, the tighter the knot cinches. But, when I adopt a singular focus, a calm takes over and I can loosen one strand at a time.
   
   It might also help if you can visualize yourself acting with patience and focus. Lower your voice and try to move as slowly as possible. Speak slowly and softly. Become the calm, unflappable person you see in your mind.
   
   Here's another technique: Do you know anyone whom you would describe as unflappable? Try to think of what this person would do in your situation.
   


4. Note your patterns of exasperation
   Are there any specific situations that cause you to lose your cool? Look at specific patterns -- from time of day, to level of stress (or level of boredom), to blood sugar levels. Do you tend to lose it when it's too noisy – or too quiet? Knowing about your own patterns can go a long way in helping you keep your cool throughout the day.


5. Realize that you can control your emotions
   Reflect on times when you were able to successfully stay calm in a frustrating situation. Maybe it was a time when you wanted to yell at your spouse or your kids, but then the doorbell rang and you were able to instantly shift gears. Consider that you might be able to do this repeatedly, as long as you know your triggers – and some tips for keeping a calm mindset.


6. Create a calm environment with peaceful rituals
   If calm music soothes you, use it. If silence soothes you, use it. Maybe you'll play some soothing instrumental music or maybe you'll dim the lights and light some scented candles.
   
   When you are coming home from work, give yourself a few moments to calm your mind before you go charging into an evening at home with your kids. Sit in the car for a few minutes and take some deep breaths. Kick off your shoes and sip a glass of water. Rituals can also be tremendously soothing during the transition periods of your day.


7. Take care of the essentials
   Make sure you are getting enough sleep and getting enough protein, fiber, vitamins and minerals. I tend to lose my temper way more often if I'm low on blood sugar. But, get a little protein in me, and it's (relatively) smooth sailing.
   
   Also make sure you are getting physical exercise. A daily workout can give you the physical release that can help you control your anxiety. If I'm feeling particularly stressed, I trade my half-hour run for a half hour of kickboxing. This helps.
   
   Stay away from too much sugar and caffeine and stay hydrated. Drink a tall glass of water and see if you feel better, more calm and alert.


8. Focus on the mind and spirit, too
   Depending on your spiritual tradition, engage in a routine of meditation or prayer. Practice yoga - or just sit quietly for awhile. Developing peace of mind is a skill that will serve you well your whole life through. Take a meditation class, and learn techniques to help you get control over your monkey mind.


9. Distract yourself
   Instead of ruminating, find something fun, engaging, and constructive to do. Try to laugh (or laugh at yourself.) Watch a funny movie or read a blog that always make you laugh. When you lighten up, it's a lot easier to keep your cool.
   
   
10. Take a day off
    I always know I really need a day off when I fight like crazy to not take one. If I can force myself to take an entire day away from my work, I always come back more calm, assured, and filled with fresh ideas.


11. Don't forget to breathe
    When my kids were very small, we helped them to calm down by teaching them belly breathing, and it still works – for them and for me. Diaphragmatic breathing helps you alleviate your stress in the moment and it gives you a minute or two to calm down, often just long enough for you to assess the situation and help you regain your sense of control.
    
    In a good belly breath, your belly will actually rise and fall. To practice, put your hand on your belly. Inhale through your nose and see if your hand rises as you breathe in. Hold the breath for a few counts and slowly breathe out.


12. Reflect on quotes that can help you calm your mind
    Here are a few that I find inspiring:
    
    

    "You are the sky. Everything else – it's just the weather." Pema Chodron

    
    

    "A mind at peace, a mind centered and not focused on harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe." Wayne Dyer

    
    

    "It is useless to force the rhythms of life. If I live with the anxiety to go fast, I will not live well. My addiction to speed will make me sick. The art of living is about learning how to give time to each and every thing. If I have sacrificed my life to speed, then that is impossible. Ultimately, slow means to take the time to reflect. It means to take the time to think. With calm, you arrive everywhere." Carlos Petrini (Founder of the Slow Food movement)

    
    

    "One important reason to stay calm is that calm parents hear more. Low-key, accepting parents are the ones whose children keep talking." Mary Pipher

    
    

    "Remain calm, serene, always in command of yourself. You will then find out how easy it is to get along." Paramahansa Yogananda

If you’ve ever worked on a big project, whether at work or in your personal life, you’ll know how easy it is to get bogged down in trivia – or to procrastinate. Rather than plowing on grimly, sometimes you just need to take a break. Here’s why.

You’re Not Very Productive When You’re a Quivering Wreck
I’m a freelancer, and I realized a while back (while trying to follow various time management tips) that one of the big areas where I “lost” time was when I kept pushing myself and pushing myself to work ... ending up burning out.

If you work too long or too hard, you’re working yourself up to a crash. You’re not going to be at all productive if you’re lying in a ball on the floor, or if you’re lashing out at employees or relatives because you’re so stressed.

Looking Forward to a Break Helps You Stay Focused
Have you ever had a whole day to get something done – and ended up spending most of that time fiddling around with other tasks? I’m sure most college students are familiar with the essay-writing process, which involves a lot of cups of coffee, sharpening pencils, doodling, filing lecture notes – anything but actually getting on with the essay!

When you give yourself all day to do something, chances are it’ll end up taking all day. When you give yourself two hours – with the promise of a proper break at the end of that time – it’s much easier to concentrate and stay on task.

Limited Time Makes You Stick to Important Tasks
Another problem with plowing on, and on, and on with work is that you’ll often end up doing unimportant tasks: the ones which let you look or feel busy (like repeatedly checking emails). When you know you have an end point for your work session, you’re forced to focus on the things you really need to get done.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by your to-do list, go through it and put the numbers 1, 2 and 3 against the three most important tasks – the things you really must get done. Then work through them in order, and don’t switch to anything new until you’ve completed them. This is a great way to race through work and to avoid darting between tasks without finishing anything.

Your Mind Keeps Working During a Break
Have you ever had a great idea when you were in the shower, or driving, or doing the dishes? Your unconscious mind doesn’t switch off when you’re having a break: on the contrary, a period of time when you’re not focusing on a particular task is just what your mind needs in order to come up with something amazing. What might you be missing out on because you’re not giving yourself that sort of thinking time?

All it takes is one or two good ideas, well-executed, for you to live the life of greatness. Most of the influential creatives throughout history – including present ones – started with one really good idea. The rest of their life was spent either working on that idea or living off of the fruit of that idea. You may be incubating that great idea, or you may be one step away from it and I want you to get it out so we all can enjoy it.(Charlie Gilkey, Demystifying the Creative Process, Productive Flourishing)

Breaks come in different shapes and sizes. A five-minute break to gaze out of the window can calm you down and prevent you from trying to work in a frantic but unproductive way. A week’s vacation can give you a whole new perspective on your life.

What sort of break can you take today, or this week?

1. Pick A Cheap Activity
   Okay, it's obvious, but some hobbies and activities are considerably cheaper than others! If you're equally keen on the idea of learning to jog and learning to ski, you'd be best going with jogging; it's virtually free (you just need decent trainers and some loose clothing), whereas even skiing on artificial slopes will cost you.
   
   Even if you've already got a particular interest in mind, you may be able to find a cheap way to get started. For instance, losing weight doesn't need to mean paying for expensive supplements and classes: you could get going for free, just by keeping a food diary and becoming more mindful about what you eat.
   


2. Avoid Subscription Payments
   However keen you're feeling right now, recognize that your interest might wane after a month or two. Gyms make much of their money from all the people who pay a monthly subscription and rarely or never set foot inside.
   
   Look for ways to trial a new hobby without paying up-front for weekly classes, a monthly magazine, or similar. Yes, it's more expensive on the face of it to pay for individual gym sessions or to buy copies of a monthly journal in the store, but if you lose interest after a month or two, it'll work out a lot cheaper.
   


3. Borrow From Friends
   When you're starting out with something new, it's worth seeing if you can try it for free. That might well mean borrowing something from a friend who's already got equipment.
   
   For instance, if you're considering getting a netbook, can you borrow one from a friend for a few days to see whether or not you find it comfortable to use? If you want to learn to play a keyboard, could you go round to a friend's house to play hers for a few weeks?
   


4. Sell Your Old Stuff
   Most of us have a lot of stuff which we're not using. Exercise bikes, musical instruments, DVDs, computer equipment ... all sorts of things which we bought a while ago and haven't touched in months or years.
   
   How about selling some of that clutter on ebay? It might be junk to you – but well worthwhile to someone else. With a bit of extra money (and extra space!) you'll find it much easier to get started on your new hobbies and interests.
   


5. Buy Basic Equipment
   Finally, if you are going to buy, go for basic equipment. I know it's tempting to get something good, especially when you know it'll last longer and be a better investment in the long run ... but if your interest is going to wane after a couple of weeks, that flashy guitar or professional treadmill is just going to end up gathering dust in a corner.
   
   You can find basic, entry-level products on ebay or craigslist, secondhand in classified ads, or from places like Walmart. Shop around and look at reviews – you want something which will give you a good introduction to your new hobby, not something that falls apart after a few uses.

Are you taking up any new hobbies, interests or activities? How are you keeping the costs down?

This way you can avoid the angry outbursts, sleepless nights and anxious binge trips to KFC that all happen because of stress. Here are a few of my favorites:

• Find Your Breath
  One of the most effective and simple ways to deal with stress at work is taken from an ancient Buddhist meditation. It is called "calm abiding" and it is where you bring your attention and focus to the breath coming in and out of your nose. I talk about this a lot in Enlightening Stress Relief, because I believe it is one of the best ways to deal with stress right there in the office.
  
  The main purpose of calm abiding meditation is to attain a state called "single pointed concentration" where the mediator can focus on any given object for as long as they want without their thoughts wandering away to other areas. Of course, this takes years to master and is not really what we are concerned with here. We are concerned with relieving stress.
  
  Luckily for us, calm abiding meditation has several powerful side-effects and one of them is that i combats stress in a very efficient way - by relaxing the body and mind. Calm abiding meditation is also said to have the ability to heal some minor health problems and will also clear up headaches, neck aches and other stress related issues.
  
  So how do we do it?
  
  All you need to do is sit down and very slowly bring your attention to your breath. Focus on the feeling of the breath going in and out of your nose. If other thoughts enter into your mind just let them pass. Don't judge them or try to force them out. Just notice them and then bring your awareness back to the breath.
  
  Now we are going to count 10 rounds of the breath. A "round" is one inhale and one exhale. This is a lot harder than you think because the stressed mind will jump around like a monkey whose pants are on fire! If you lose count before you get to 10 simply start again.
  
  This meditation is a short term and a long term solution. In the short term it will calm you down and cause anxious thoughts to dissipate and weaken. In the long term it will help you to manage stress and become aware of stressful thoughts as they arise. When you become more aware in this way stress becomes less and less of a dictator and you become more and more in control.
  
  
• Get Sunlight and Wide Open Space
  Think about the average office; it is a stress breeding ground. Your eyes are barraged with fluorescent light, your skin is chilled with ducted air conditioning and your ears are constantly being tormented by co-workers, printers and chattering keyboards.
  
  When you spend a lot of the day indoors dealing with the daily grind you lose a lot of perspective. A stressful event seems like the end of the world and you spend the rest of the day (or week!) brooding and thinking about it over and over again. It is like there is nothing else going on in the world.
  
  When you feel like your whole world is becoming engulfed in stress and anxiety one of the simplest things you can do is go outside in the sun in a wide open space. When I was in university and exam stress was getting the best of me I would go to the very top floor of the building which overlooks the whole city with a computer chair and a coffee and just sit in the sun and look at the view.
  
  The effect is wonderfully relaxing.
  
  Sunlight, for starters, has been scientifically proven to make you happier. It causes Vitamin D to be produced in your body and this is a natural anti-depressant.
  
  Secondly, the wide open spaces help you get back some perspective. Overlooking the city at my secret spot used to remind me that there are other people in the world a lot worse off than me, I have a lot to be thankful for and that failing an exam wasn't the end of the world, etc.
  
  Being able to shift your perspective is a wonderful human quality that many people take for granted. Get outdoors to a wide open sunny spot and just slow down and regain some perspective.


• Get a Good Green or White Tea
  Everyone drinks tea but not everyone knows how amazingly good it is for battling stress. Green and White teas in particular are extremely good for your health. When I was in the Himalayas I was introduced to the relaxing effects of tea by my Tibetan friends and since that time I have used it extensively to calm me down.
  
  In case you don't know there are five main types of tea:
  
  • Green Tea
    
  • White Tea
    
  • Oolong Tea
    
  • Black Tea
    
  • Pu Erh Tea
    
  All of these teas come from the same plant but are given different names if they are prepared differently or made from a different part of the plant. Green tea, for example, is fried or steamed to prevent the leaves from fermenting whereas White Tea is made from the buds instead of the leaves. These two teas are said to be slightly more beneficial for stress related problems than the others.
  
  So how does tea help stress?
  
  Tea is full of antioxidants and does wonders for stress levels on many different levels. One study has shown that people who drink tea are actually happier than those who do not. They are also less likely to get cancer and some other serious illnesses.
  
  There are many definitive physiological reasons as to why tea helps stress. Chinese doctors have known it for thousands of years and now western science is backing up those claims with evidence that a cup of tea can suppress a hormone in the body that causes stress.
  
  I always encourage people to drink Dilmah tea as it is known as one of the world's most ethical tea companies and produces the highest quality tea. Dilmah put a lot of money back into the local community and take good care of their workers. They also grow their tea in clean environments which is very important for our health. It is also important not to add any milk to the tea as the proteins in the milk can damage some of the tea's goodness.
  


• Try Classical Music
  A few years ago I discovered how much classical music could help my stress levels. I was driving home from a tough day at work and I changed the radio channel to the local classical mix by accident. Normally I would have changed it right away but that day I heard the inspiring violin of what I now know to be Vivaldi's famous piece called "Winter". I was hooked.
  
  Since that time I have experimented with all of the great classical composers; Mozart, Beethoven, Bach and so on. I have a particular love of Russian classical music which has a very distinct flavor.
  
  Classical music is a really fantastic way to relax when you are feeling stressed and anxious at work. I recommend something that has a smooth violin sound or a melodic piano. Just chuck some on your iPod and listen to it when you feel like the office is starting to get you down.


• Just Relax!
  A lot of us are addicted to stress. I know that sounds a little silly but in many cases it is true. We are addicted to being depressed and anxious and we have decided that being stressed is normal and therefore do nothing to combat it.
  
  And to make matters worse we go over things again and again in our head. We think that if we think about "why" we are stressed we will come to some lasting solution but in actual fact it just makes it worse. Ever time you think about the stress is just seems to add water into the whirlpool. Thinking about being stressed makes you more stressed!
  
  Ironic.
  
  In these times it is really handy to know the mantra "Just relax!" It sounds simple and probably a little bit silly but it is something you have to try to do. Just relax. Things aren't that bad.
  
  To help you accomplish this I want to share with you a very famous Buddhist teaching by an Indian master called Shantideva. It has helped me deal with stress and worry many times in my life:
  
  

  "If the problem can be solved, why worry? If the problem cannot be solved, worrying will be of no help."

  
  When we look at it logically there really is no reason to stress and worry. Remind yourself of this fact and just relax! It is amazing how powerful this can be if you really want to do it.

Stress is a part of life, there is no escaping it. But, like toothaches, body odor, and back pain, there are solutions. Meditating is one of them. Changing your perspective is another. If you can take one or two of the suggestions in this post and apply them to your own situation then you will be well on your way to relaxing at work when stress strikes.

Written on 12/18/2009 by The Daily Minder. Republished on 1/7/2010.

Photo Credit: stephmcg

In order to make this work, it will be helpful to:

1. Lower your expectations of meditation.
   Often the reason we are impatient about meditation is we want instant gratification. Replace that expectation with a desire to experience a "slow melt" of your stress.


2. Be open to non-traditional meditation.
   Meditation doesn't have to be done in a seated position. Any activity in which you can slow down your mind, become more inwardly focused and more rooted in the present moment will pass the test for meditation.


3. Be kind to yourself.
   At all levels, give yourself credit and praise for all your goodness. Don't berate yourself for not being "good" at meditating. That defeats the purpose. If you make the effort to meditate, then by default, you are good at it. It's more a "do or not do" thing versus a "good or bad."


4. Commit to slow down your mind for 10 minutes each day.
   You can obviously do this for longer if you want, but just take your time in building this habit by starting with 10 minutes per day.

How to Easily Incorporate Meditation into Your Day
The way to do this is to transform some of the things you are already doing each day into mindful meditation. Here are some major areas where you could make this transformation.

• Exercise Meditation
  Any continuous physical activity over a period of time can work. Some great choices are walking, jogging, or yoga. Chores can work too such as sweeping, folding laundry, stacking wood, and washing windows.
  
  The way to transform any of these activities into meditation is to first focus on your breath. Observe it. Modify it. Try long inhalations, holding periods, and slow exhalations if you can. Observe how each part of your body feels. When you start to feel the exercise endorphins kick in, you might also want to express those good feelings with a big smile, a raising of the arms and/or a deep "Ahhhh" sound. Silly? Maybe. Feels good? Definitely.


• Bathing Meditation
  The next time you shower or take a bath, create your own spa experience simply by flipping the switch in your mind. Let go of any limits. No time limits, no temperature limits. Breathe deeply. Close your eyes. Feel the water. Feel the sensations it gives your body. Allow the water to heal you by transforming your bathing time into a meditation. Focus on your breath and how your body feels. If thoughts involving the past or future come into your mind, observe them and send them packing by returning to your observations of your breath and body. What do you see, feel, smell, and hear?
  
  Let go of words and labels by expressing your good feelings through meaningless sounds such as "aum," "mmmm," or "ahhhhh." Might your roommates wonder what you are doing? Perhaps. Just let that thought bring you even more joy and laugh.
  

• Music Meditation
  This is another activity that most of us do daily. Listening to music naturally brings us into the present moment. It can also bring us to good memories or daydreams of the future. That's all good. You can bring more meditative elements to your music experience by noticing how you feel while you listen, play or sing. Add full diaphragmatic breathing too.
  
  Some other music ideas are to pick up that instrument you haven't played in a while. Don't worry if you play well or not. The point is simply to become immersed in it and to enjoy it. You also may want to try singing or playing percussion along with your favorite music. Don't have a drum? Make one. Any object can be a percussion instrument. Just start tapping! Lastly, consider going to a music based event and enjoy. You will be engaged in meditation without any effort at all. No wonder we like music so much!
  


• Hobby Meditation
  Similar to the exercise, bathing, and music, immerse yourself in any project that you enjoy such as model building, knitting, car restoration, drawing, painting, crafts, etc. As you enjoy your hobby, add the elements of deep breathing, awareness of sensation, and focus on the current moment and you'll be meditating. And in the end you'll have a physical manifestation of that mediation. Cool.
  
  
• Massage Meditation
  Schedule a massage for yourself. As you enjoy the physical sensation, be aware of your breath. You may want to focus on one word such as Peace, Calm, Love, Ease, or perhaps a sound with no meaning such as Aum. As everyday thoughts enter your mind, pour them out with the simple mantra "empty the mind."


• If All Else Fails - The 10 Minute Dark Room Meditation
  If you didn't have time for any of the above activities in a given day, here is a simple and enjoyable 10 minute meditation routine that even the most impatient can squeeze into their day.
  
  • Go into a darkened room and sit in a comfortable position. Close your eyes.
  • If it feels good, gently cover your eyes with your hands for a few moments and/or rub your temples.
  • Start by taking 10 deep breaths. Hold each for a period of time that is comfortable for you and then release very slowly.
  • After this simply breath normally. Be aware of your breath. Be aware of each part of your body from your feet all the way up to the crown of your body.
  • Notice each part in turn. Send an intention of healing to any part that is in need of care.
  • Then focus on a simple mantra, any word you choose. As unwanted thoughts enter your mind use the phrase "empty the mind" to gently usher them out. 10 minutes will go by pretty quickly.
  • At the end open your eyes, do any stretches that feel good, and take a few breaths.
  • Feel the magical rejuvenation!

Do you have any meditation tips or practices that you'd like to share? We'd love to hear from you in the comments!