A lot depends on the the subject matter, but my gosh, I sure am a fidgety talker. When I speak to people my legs are constantly restless (when sitting), I tend to fidget with my pen, etc.
What does this mean? I don’t know but I am sure it has something to do with some underlying insecurity that will be identified by a shrink during a mid-life crisis. The key is that I know I am doing these things and that I can practice to improve my body language skills.
How do you look when you are talking to people? Have you ever thought about it? The Positivity Blog lists 18 things to look for and correct. If you are a great speaker, then use these as ways to perhaps identify how confident the ‘other’ person is.
“Improving your body language can make a big difference in your people skills, attractiveness and general mood.”
Here are a handful:
- Don’t cross your arms or legs – You have probably already heard you shouldn’t cross your arms as it might make you seem defensive or guarded. This goes for your legs too. Keep your arms and legs open.
- Have eye contact, but don’t stare – If there are several people you are talking to, give them all some eye contact to create a better connection and see if they are listening. Keeping too much eye-contact might creep people out. Giving no eye-contact might make you seem insecure. If you are not used to keeping eye-contact it might feel a little hard or scary in the beginning but keep working on it and you’ll get used to it.
- Don’t be afraid to take up some space – Taking up space by for example sitting or standing with your legs apart a bit signals self-confidence and that you are comfortable in your own skin.
- Relax your shoulders – When you feel tense it’s easily winds up as tension in your shoulders. They might move up and forward a bit. Try to relax. Try to loosen up by shaking the shoulders a bit and move them back slightly.
- Nod when they are talking – nod once in a while to signal that you are listening. But don’t overdo it and peck like Woody Woodpecker.