What is Female Led Relationship? How to Make It Work?

By Ruth Jesse

January 10, 2024   •   Fact checked by Dumb Little Man

While the benefits of a Female Led Relationship for women are obvious, some may wonder why males would prefer it.

After all, males have all the power and influence over their partners, so shouldn’t they reject these changes?

Men can gain a lot from participating in a female-led relationship. A man has to make all the critical decisions alone, which can be stressful for some men.

So males can relax more with their partners. Unlike past generations, men today recognize and value their partner’s worth. Men prefer to consider their partners as equals rather than inferiors, and this equality naturally leads to an equal say in the relationship.

So, if you want to know the dynamics of a female-led relationship, you are at the right place. Stick around, to see what a female-led relationship is and how it works?

👩‍💼 (FLR) Female Led Relationship Facts And How To Make It Work? 👩‍💼

Photo credit: unsplash.com
Photo credit: unsplash.com

A female led relationship FLR is when the woman takes the lead and assumes the position of the dominating partner while the man plays a more subservient role. As a result, the woman will have greater power in the relationship and be in charge of critical decisions.

Here is what needs to be done.

► Recognize Your Objectives

It’s critical to know what you want and what your boundaries are, as well as your partner’s, before engaging in any kink, BDSM, or power play.

“First and foremost, recognize your desires,” Jean advises. “What are you expecting out of it? What parts of your lives would you like to have control over? Which parts of your daily life do you not want to be within your control?

To learn more about the options, what you want, and what you don’t wish to, look at FLR dynamics or generic D/s relationship dynamics.”

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► Early On, Make It Clear What You Desire

If the female-led relationship dynamic is essential to you in your sexual or romantic interactions, Jean advises communicating your desires early in a potential relationship.

“You don’t have to start with it if you don’t want to.”

There are websites and apps dedicated to finding partners who are into kink, BDSM, and specifically FLR, which may be an excellent place to start your search if you’re just getting started and know you’re exclusively looking for partners who are into this dynamic.

Tell your partner what kind of dynamic you’re thinking of and what excites you about it. And then wait for them to express their level of interest before getting into the details.

Consequently, a female-led relationship can only be done with a completely willing partner, so back off if they indicate, they’re not interested.

Photo credit: unsplash.com
Photo credit: unsplash.com

► Begin Slowly

Female-led relationships can be a powerful dynamic, especially when it incorporates higher degrees of control.

“If you’ve never done something like this before, start small. The reality and the fantasy of something can frequently be very different, “ Jean explains.

Once you’ve found a partner who’s game, talk about what you’re both comfortable with and start incorporating female-led relationship components into your life. Continue to communicate and check in frequently to verify that the dynamic is positive for both sides.

► Speak With Others Who Appreciate Female Led Relationships

“Don’t put all of your trust in your possible partners to explore or understand this kink,” Jean advises. “Make friends with people on the same side of the power divide so you can talk about your experiences. This will help you because partners come and go. It also relieves your partner of the burden of bearing the weight of your kink and desires.”

A female-led relationship might be a kink or simply a method for women to feel empowered in their relationships. There are various ways to have female-led relationships. So talk to your partners about what you’re looking for and why so you can see if you can find some common ground to explore together.

“An FLR opens the way to greater gender equality by putting to rest outmoded conceptions about real males,'” Brame argues. “All people (cis and trans) feel empowered to choose the type of relationship dynamic that is best for them and their partners, without feeling compelled to conform to ideas rather than what makes them happy.”

◈ What Is A Female Led Relationship? ◈

Photo credit: unsplash.com
Photo credit: unsplash.com

Female-led relationships might be beneficial to those seeking structure in their relationships. However, if one of the partners in a relationship is dissatisfied with the arrangement, the relationship will fail.

Hence, it is critical for both the guy and the girl to recognize that the female will take the lead in the relationship and command all choices, changes, and nearly everything else.

► Better Communication

The degree to which the female has decision-making authority varies by relationship, with some giving the woman complete control and others allowing the man to have a considerable say. It is up to the pair to decide, but by doing so, the relationship has a better chance of succeeding.

For other people, this is the polar opposite of what they want out of a relationship so that it won’t work for them. It’s a beautiful, forward-thinking relationship structure to follow. And it’s about time men and women were given an equal opportunity to lead their relationships.

However, female-led relationships, as previously noted, are mostly a modern phenomenon that arose as a result of recent advances in women’s rights.

► More Freedom

Some may claim that female-led relationships aren’t accurate or natural because male-led relationships have always been the most common type of connection throughout history.

It can be attributed to women having never before had as much opportunity or freedom as now.

Women are usually treated as second-class citizens or even subhuman during long periods of history, with men imposing power over women by aggressiveness and physical might.

Thankfully, the modern shift toward equality and liberalism has aided individuals in accepting the dismantling of conventional gender roles, which includes the dynamics of a man and woman in a relationship.

► Better Sex

Finally, as a crucial aspect of a relationship, sex in a female-led relationship is sure to improve. The woman feels solid and respected, while the guy better understands his partner’s worth and value.

When combined, these factors will increase each partner’s desire for their mate, making sex more enjoyable on both sides.

▩ How Do FLRs Works? ▩

Photo credit: unsplash.com
Photo credit: unsplash.com

The ultimate purpose of a female-led relationship is to enrich the lives of both parties via happiness, camaraderie, and love, just like any other relationship. However, something is wrong when you begin to think more about the relationship itself than about the love that comes with it.

Remember, nothing should be forced. Men and women should not force themselves into traditional male-led relationships only to feel progressive, any more than they should force themselves into traditional female-led relationships. Nothing else is more important to you than your love for each other. To discover the responsibilities and lines that feel natural in your relationship and do what works for you. And thrive in that delight.

⚜️ So adopt the following ⚜️

♥ Ignore Others

Don’t let others define your feelings for each other. Your joy is all yours. What matters is that it works for you and your partner.

♥ Never Forget The Love

Too often in FLRs, people worry more about their duties than how they feel for one other. Always put love first.

♥ Beware Of Abuse

Abuse is a risk in any relationship. Assure that the power you provide each other is not misused.

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♥ Transparent Communication

Honesty and transparency are the cornerstones of female-led relationships. These kinds of partnerships necessitate mutual understanding and a willingness to adjust to the demands of each individual. Traditional relationships do not allow for evolution or progress, whereas female-led relationships allow both partners to express what they want and expect from each other.

♥ Family First Decision

Sole decision-making in a relationship can create a poisonous and unhealthy dynamic when one person forgets to prioritize people’s well-being and happiness. Traditional male-led partnerships sometimes fall into the man’s trap, becoming so self-centered that he makes bad judgments for the family.

A connection based on communication and conversation increases the likelihood of better decisions for the whole family.

♥ Less Pressure On Define Role

Masculinity is emphasized in the traditional male archetype, whereas the traditional female archetype is characterized by timidity, family values, and subservient behavior.

The issue with these established roles is that we don’t always fit into them, and we can be forced to be someone we aren’t.

For example, a man raising children and cooking dinner or a woman working as the breadwinner are both examples of female-led marriages.

📞 Female-Led Relationships Provide A More Open Line Of Communication 📞

Men do not have to be disempowered in a female-led relationship. In fact, in a way that seems almost counterintuitive, it can empower men far more than a traditional male-led relationship.

To accomplish this, the female must take the initiative to initiate a deep conversation with her man—something he desires above and beyond love and sex.

🗿 How To Make A Good FLR? 🗿

Photo credit: unsplash.com
Photo credit: unsplash.com

Types of female-led relationships have now altered due to the idea underpinning FLRs. The following are some of why women would seek out an FLR.

When it comes to their home and family, women want a fair chance to make decisions and improvements.

Traditional male-led partnerships frequently fall into the trap of the man becoming so accustomed to simply thinking about himself that he makes poor and regressive family decisions. A more significant likelihood is that the entire family will benefit from better judgments if the connection is built on communication and discussion.

The conventional man archetype is masculine, muscular, emotionally withdrawn, headstrong, and bold, while the traditional woman archetype is timid, family-oriented, caring, loving, obedient, and silent. The difficulty with conventional roles is that we don’t always fit into them, and we can be pressed to be somebody we aren’t in our attempts to be someone we aren’t.

It Enables Both Parties To Seek Assistance Without Hesitation

There is less power struggle between the man and the woman when the guy is alone in making decisions and exercising control is removed. He thus, makes it more straightforward for the woman to be comfortable and at ease with her spouse. A woman may grow to love her spouse more because she believes he treats her with the respect, care, and attention she deserves as an equal.

❒ Equality Is Promoted Via Female Led Relationships

Some women relish having complete control over their relationships, from managing the kitchen to raising the children to managing the finances. In addition, women may want the ability to change their man if they so desire, driving old negative behaviors out and molding him into better mates.

❒ Men Can Be Vulnerable In Women-Led Partnerships

Honesty and transparency are the cornerstones of female-led relationships. This kind of relationship necessitates mutual understanding and a willingness to adjust to the demands of each individual. Traditional relationships do not allow for evolution or progress, whereas female-led relationships or FLR allow both partners to express what they want and expect from each other.

❂ How Can I Have An FLR? ❂

Photo credit: unsplash.com
Photo credit: unsplash.com

Here is what you need to do to have a successful FLR:

Understand Your Roles And Lines

Happiness necessitates that both spouses feel at ease with their respective roles and lines. Ascertain that you and your partner are aware of and accept each other’s responsibilities and expectations.

◈ Periodically Review

Remember that neither you nor your spouse will always know what you want. So make it a point to get together regularly for an honest and open chat about your comfort and satisfaction, perhaps once a month or every few months.

◉ FLR Rules ◉

Photo credit: unsplash.com
Photo credit: unsplash.com

Want to know some of the FLR rules?

We got you covered. Here are some rules that you need to stick to:

✔️ Be Transparent And Honest

Be honest with your partner, listen, and share your problems.

✔️ Recognize Your Roles And Line

Each partner should understand their duties and responsibilities.

✔️ Abuse Should Be Avoided

Don’t give mental torcher to your partner. Instead, be respectful to each other.

✡️ Types of FLR ✡️

To make it easier for you to understand, we have explained below each female-led relationship.

▶️ Female control at a low level

It’s challenging to term a lower-level female-led relationship a “female-led relationship” because the woman isn’t truly leading.

Instead, the lower level female-led relationship portrays a partnership between men and women. Decisions are based on the merits of both partners’ arguments, and both partners must agree before any conclusion may be made.

In these situations, the woman never believes she has control over her boyfriend or can make decisions alone.

▶️ Female control at a moderate level

The fundamental difference between a low FLR and a moderate FLR is mentality — a quiet FLR woman realizes that while she has an equal voice, she is not greater than her partner in any element of the relationship.

In a mild FLR, the woman believes she has more influence over certain aspects of the relationship, but she may not act on it. It may seem insignificant, but it may significantly impact a woman’s sense of self-worth and confidence, leading to increased happiness and harmony in the relationship.

▶️ Consistent Control

The higher level FLR is a relationship where the woman is the authority figure. The most straightforward approach to comprehending this relationship is comparing it to the typical male-led relationship and reversing gender roles, with the woman as the household leader, family leader, and principal breadwinner. The woman earns most of the family’s income, while the guy cleans, cooks raise the kids, and generally looks after the home.

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▶️ Complete control

No other female-led relationship exemplifies female authority like the severe FLR type. In this FLR, the woman is the man’s total power, commanding his every move and making all his decisions. The lady expects absolute respect and obedience from her mate, and the guy should gladly oblige. Extreme FLRs are dysfunctional relationships, as if the gender roles were reversed, and are generally sexually driven.

💮 How Does The Female Led Relationship Break The Traditional Dynamics?

Photo credit: unsplash.com
Photo credit: unsplash.com

Women have achieved a lot since the days when we couldn’t get credit cards on our own. The majority of today’s women are successful, self-assured, and well-educated. You’re probably in this situation, and you can move from taking control of your personal life to controlling your relationship.

It will work fine as long as you find a man willing to participate in whatever arrangement you settle on. That isn’t to say you won’t have to pay attention to a few crucial aspects.

Let’s take a closer look.

Good communication is necessary for all relationships, but it is more crucial in FLRs. If you want your FLR to be intense, you’ll need to hash it out so that you both understand where the lines are drawn.

As we previously stated, just because you are playing the more typical “leader” role in the relationship does not rule out a compromise. Your way or the highway can’t always be the best option. It’s critical to communicate about duties and boundaries.

Conclusion

Photo credit: unsplash.com
Photo credit: unsplash.com

Your partner should constantly know how you’re feeling, both good and negative so that they can make adjustments and you can feel heard. Happiness necessitates that both spouses are content with their current situation. Ascertain that you and your partner are aware of and accept each other’s responsibilities and expectations. Remember that neither you nor your spouse will always know what you want. Make it a point to get together regularly for an honest and open chat about your comfort and satisfaction, perhaps once a month or every few months.

Don’t let other people’s opinions influence your feelings for one another. Your happiness is solely yours. Do what works best for you. Make sure the only thing that matters is that you and your partner are happy.

People in FLRs frequently get trapped for caring more about their duties in the relationship than how they feel for each other. Love should always take first. Abuse is always a risk factor. No matter which type of relationship you’re in. Make sure you’re not abusing the power you’ve given each other.

The Final Piece of the Female-Led Keeps it simple. The ultimate purpose of a female-led partnership is to enrich the lives of both parties via happiness, camaraderie, and love, just like any other relationship. Something is wrong when you begin to think more about the relationship itself than about the love that comes with it.

Remember, nothing should be forced. Men and women should not force themselves into traditional male-led partnerships only to feel progressive, any more than they should force themselves into traditional female-led relationships.

Photo credit: unsplash.com
Photo credit: unsplash.com

Nothing else is more important to you than your love for each other. So do what works best for you – figure out what roles you can play.

❓ Questions ❓

How to master a female relationship?

The existence of men in our culture is not undermined or disrespected by female-led interactions. It simply refutes the monotony of male roles and the notion that male family members are meant to take the lead. Instead, it allows women to be the dominant partner, or what we refer to as an “alpha female.”

What are the characteristics of a good woman to have a healthy FLR?

Here are a few characteristics:

  1. She has a fiery passion for what she does.
  2. She is supportive of you.
  3. She’s loyal.
  4. She accepts accountability for her acts.
  5. She encourages you

Why do some men prefer FLR?

Some men would rather take on a milder role in a partnership, such as caring for children, maintaining the home, cooking, and cleaning, and earning less money to avoid the stress of being the breadwinner. Men in female-led partnerships are better able to accept and acknowledge their partner’s worth.

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Ruth Jesse

Ruth is a life coach who specialises in relationships and career development. Outside work, she loves writing novels and guides for personal development.

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