Dumb Little Man | Tips for Life

How many times have you heard someone say, "Hindsight is always 20/20"? If you are like me, you hear it a lot and think it a lot more. Last year Jay wrote an article listing things he wished he'd known earlier. It got me thinking that the most crucial lessons in life and success aren't taught in books or written on blogs, but they are found by living life itself.

Sure, there may be nuggets of wisdom that we pick up from Dumb Little Man, Zen Habits, or Life Remix, but it is up to us individually to act upon them and learn the lessons. If it takes a failure for us to learn something important, so be it.

Here are 20 things that I personally came to understand and believe in. Your 20 could be totally different. Perhaps you only have 5, it doesn't matter. The key is that you learn from your life, your failures and your successes. Neglect any one of those and you are taking a rocky road to learning and personal development.

1. You must create and look for opportunities: Opportunities rarely ever come knocking on the door of someone who's not seeking them. You have to create and seek opportunities for yourself. You have to take the initiative to get the ball rolling and the doors opening.
   


2. Negativity will only bring more of it: When you focus only on negativity, obviously that's all you will see. You will not seek out positivity, and even when positivity comes into your life, you'll look for the negative part of it.
   


3. Where you are does not determine where you can go: It doesn't matter if you're homeless or living in a mansion, poor or rich, or if you have a 4.0 grade point average or "failing", it won't make any difference in the future. There are countless rags to riches stories to back this point up. If you have the drive and talents, you can go anywhere. You create your own limitations and horizon.
   


4. If you can't help others, you can't help yourself: Even if it's just to hold the door for someone or some other simple gesture, it will do wonders for your life. You'll feel great and you'll eventually be returned the favor sometime during your life, whether you realize it or not. If you don't want to help others, then others won't want to help you, and nor should they.
   


5. Follow your passion, money will follow: If you have passion and have fun doing your job, then I wouldn't consider it a job. You can focus on creating even more passion for that subject and money will eventually follow you. If you focus only on the money, it won't come because you're focused on the quantity of your work and not the quality.
   


6. Enjoy yourself: Have fun as much as possible, don't take everything so seriously. Push your worries aside and bring enjoyment closer.
   


7. If it were easy everyone would do it: This is why get rich quick schemes will never be true. If it was so quick and easy then everyone would be millionaires. Making money and accomplishing tasks is hard work, but well worth it.
   


8. Planning is good but so is being spontaneous: Planning ahead in business and in life is important but so is being able to quickly change that plan. Various people and events will get in the way of your plans, so you have to be able to modify or forget your plans at times. Be spontaneous once and awhile, it makes life interesting.
   


9. You have many talents: You may be a talented athlete or musician but you probably have ten more talents you don't even know about. When people find something they're good at, they only focus on that instead of seeing what else they can do.
   


10. Don't work hard without rewards: What's the point of working hard to follow your dreams if you aren't going to treat yourself along the way. Each little or big goal you accomplish should be rewarded with a proportionate treat, maybe a day off or a big slice of cake.
    


11. Money does bring happiness: As I said, you shouldn't be chasing money but when you do earn it, you know you've been accomplishing something. It feels great and brings you happiness because you know you'll have more freedom and time to do what you want.
    


12. Someone always has it worse: At times you may be having a bad day, but stop yourself and think about it; there has to be millions of other people are having a worse day than you.
    


13. You'll need others: Make as many friends as you possibly can and never burn bridges. You will need others for your success.
    


14. Being open-minded is the key to more knowledge: If you want to know more about the world you have to be open-minded. Give everything a chance.
    


15. Failure is great: One of the most important, if not the most important steps to success is failure. You have to fail at least once, but it's better if you've failed multiple times. You can learn so much more from your failures than you could any other way. And when you finally achieve success, you'll appreciate it so much more.
    


16. Most people are actually nice: This is something I've only recently realized. Most people are nice, but not usually to strangers. Once they get to know you and you get to know them, they will most likely seem like very nice people.
    


17. Words and thoughts control everything: What you say and think will ultimately become reality. If you say you're going to fail, then you will because you'll find a way to make it happen. If you say you're going to succeed, the same will happen, you'll find a way.
    


18. Your view is the reality: How you see an event or situation is how it exists. If you see something as tragic and negative then that's what it means to you. If you see something as exciting and positive, then that's what it is.
    


19. Inspiration and motivation are everywhere: I don't care where you are, there is something there that can motivate and inspire you. You can be at war is some far away country, in horrible conditions, but there will be something there to keep you going and strive for something better. You just have to recognize it and keep it with you.
    


20. You can change the world: Every single person has the ability to change the world whether directly or indirectly. When you change your life and the lives of those around you, you've changed the world. Small things that you do can make a huge impact on the world.

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Whether you’re a parent who frequently has other kids around for playdates, a teen making some pocket-money from babysitting occasionally, or someone with responsibility for kids in a community group, taking care of other people’s kids can be a tricky thing to get right.

I spent many Friday and Saturday evenings in my teens babysitting (yes, I didn’t have much social life) and currently work eight hours a week as a childminder. I’ve also taken care of kids on summer camps, at Church and in other situations. Here are a few general guidelines on how to take care of other kids, making sure that you, they, and their parents are kept safe and happy.

1. Get References
   If you’re taking care of other people’s kids, whether in a professional or a voluntary capacity, you should get references. For my work on the summer camps, and for my childminding work, I had to provide contact details for two people who could vouch that I was capable of looking after kids safely.
   
   I’ve also had to go through a Criminal Records Check whenever I’ve taken on sole charge of kids – this is a procedure carried out by the Criminal Records Bureau in the UK to make sure that anyone taking charge of kids has never had a child-related criminal conviction in the past. Check your own nation’s policy on this, and get vetted if necessary.
   
   This is important for parents’ peace of mind, and it’s often a legal requirement (depending on where you live).
   


2. Set Ground Rules
   Check with parents or group coordinators about any ground rules that are in place. Whether you think these are too strict or too lenient, you should do your best to stick to them. It’s not fair on the parents, the other caregivers or the kids themselves to keep chopping and changing rules.
   
   Ask about sanctions for inappropriate behavior. In a group or club situation, this might involve removing a child from an activity, or even temporarily or permanently suspending them from the group/club. If you’re taking care of kids in their own home or in yours, a “time out” is often an appropriate sanction.
   
   Never, ever smack or spank someone else’s child. Even if parents have said that it’s okay to, the legal risks are simply not worth it.
   


3. Be Careful About Physical Contact
   It’s obviously fine to hug your own kids, or kids who are related to you – but when it comes to taking care of other people’s kids, you need to be very cautious. If you’re helping at a camp or club, ask about rules: generally, it’s okay to let a child hug you if they initiate it, and if there are other adults in the room or in sight.
   
   When a child is crying, most of us instinctively want to give them a hug. Never do this without the child’s invitation: ask “Would you like me to hug you?” and make sure they’re okay with it. This isn’t just important because it protects you from accidentally putting yourself at legal risk, it’s also very important for the child. If a child has been abused, a hug which you intend as a comforting gesture could be very frightening for them.


4. Let The Kids Lead
   Unless you’re a school teacher, don’t try to force kids into doing something they don’t want to. If a child doesn’t want to join in an activity at the club, let them sit it out (offering gentle encouragement is fine, but don’t let them feel bullied). If you’re childminding, don’t tell the kids they’re not allowed to watch TV or play on the computer – unless that’s a ground rule set by their parents.
   
   When feeding kids who aren’t your own, accept that their parents might have very different rules to yours. Don’t be strict about table manners, or about finishing vegetables before dessert. It’s far better that the children under your care are happy and eat something rather than they eat the most nutritionally-balanced meal on the planet.


5. Don’t Drink Or Smoke
   If you’re looking after a child or a group of children, don’t drink or smoke – at all. It’s much easier to have a blanket “no” on this than to allow yourself a glass of wine or a cigarette after the children are asleep or when you’re in another room.
   
   Alcohol impairs your judgement and your reaction times – both of which are crucial in an emergency. Second-hand smoke is dangerous to children, and smoking where they can see you also sends a bad message.

If you look after someone else’s kids, whether on an informal basis like occasional babysitting, or as a paid childminder or a volunteer, how do you make sure you do a great job?

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No, we're not talking about blogs and random articles. We are talking about pure, no nonsense, get something done now, kind of sites.

Would you like to get out of your cell phone contract? How about finding a free, easy way to back-up your computer? Maybe you'd love a new way to discover cool music that is suited to your tastes. Or maybe you just need to find a public toilet, like right now!

Well, good news, boss! Help for these needs is just a click away! Here are some super useful websites that you've probably never heard of that can help make your life easier, richer, and more enjoyable!

If you have some favorites to share (and I know you do), please leave a link in the comments!

General Goodness

• Cellphone Contract Buster. Want out of your cellphone contract? You may be able to do just that. Check out: Cellswapper and CellTradeUSA. Note that you need to get permission from your carrier in advance and let them know if you want to keep your phone number.
• GetHuman: Stop being frustrated with automated phone systems. This extensive list will give you the ways to reach a live person at hundreds of companies!
• Cash in on Airline Points: at Points.com: If you can't sell your airline points and if you can't use them either, you can now swap them for other items.
• How Stuff Works: If you ever need to know how something works from computer related queries to health to business and more, check out How Stuff Works.
• Online Conversions. Convert any measurement to another. Extensive and useful resource!
• Search Public Records. Links to over 41,000 searchable public record databases. United States, Canada, Australia, and Europe.
  

Health & Fitness

• Toilet Finder: Mizpee.com - Lists public restrooms in 18 US and Canadian cities. Go find one now or add your favorites and rate them! Handy when you gotta go!
  
• Weight Management: Free calorie counter, weight loss calculators and weight loss tutorials. Very no-nonsense.
  

Happiness

• Musicicovery. Discover new music according to mood, energy level, genre, and more. Very cool interface with results displayed in mindmap format. Very cool!
• WikiTravel. Wikipedia for travelers. Tons of great information on your chosen destination.
  

Family & Home

• Online Family Tree: Geni.com. This is a very cool online application that has many features! You can fill in your whole family tree going backwards and outwards. In addition you can set up profiles, set reminders, and more. It is a private social network for your family!
• HomeFair: Rich resource for families that are moving: discover city reports, school reports, and relocation wizards. Also calculate whether you are getting a fair salary for your credentials and your location. There are many calculators also including whether you should buy a home or rent.
• Universal Packing List. An online wizard that helps you with your packing list.
• Good Recipes Free: Epicurious. Excellent!
• How to Clean Anything. The name says it all.
  
• FixItClub.com: How to fix just about anything

Business & Finances

• Free Business Planning Resources: Check out the Small Business Administration's resources! They are abundant, highly useful, and free!
• Consumer Ratings: If you're shopping for an item head on over to ePinions.com for ratings, reviews, and price comparisons. Virtually all types of products are covered from Electronics to Baby stuff to Office Supplies to Beauty and more! Also try ConsumerReview.
• Online Library Book Requests! Lookup your local library's website. (You'll need to be a member first.) Request books, videos, and music. Pick them up when you get the email that they are ready for you! Better than Amazon and free if you return them on time!

Free Stuff

• Freecycle.org: Sign up with your local chapter to donate used items and put in requests for items you need. Items can be as small as baby clothes and as big as automobiles.
• Free Paperbacks: Paperbackswap.com - donate yours and take others'.
• Computer Backups - Backup your computer online for free with either Mozy or Carbonite. Both sites have free offers but the larger packages and durations will need to be paid for.
  
• Free Books, CD's, & DVD's: Titletrader.com -there's nothing to lose! Also check out Full Books for more free books.
• Ringtones: Check out Phonezoo. You can create ringtones and download a ton - all for free.
• Learn a Foreign Language: Mango can get you started in 12 different languages. FSI does the same and maybe even a little better. You can choose, they are both free.
  
• Free Technical Support: Did you know that you can get free tech support? Try these free services if you're sick of paying big bucks to Microsoft and other big name companies for help:
  • Tech Support Guy
  • 5 Star Support
  • AskMeHelpDesk
  • Protonic

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Have you ever fantasized about quitting your day job? Have you ever woken up on a Monday morning and dragged yourself into work, wishing you could do something else for a living? Do you hold your tongue through pointless meetings? Would you go into a different career – or self-employment – given the chance?

Perhaps you’d echo the words of Bubbly Krish, who told me “I would appreciate if you could write something on leaving the rat race to be your own boss”.

My first thought was where to begin? And then I thought about how I left the “rat race” myself and became my own boss. The crucial step, I think, was to set a date for quitting.

Does that sound a bit simplistic? Here’s why and how it could work for you:

Pick Your Date...
I can’t tell you “quit in three months” or “quit in six months”. How long you need depends on your situation. But I can tell you that if you set a firm, realistic but slightly challenging, date to hand in your notice, you’ll find that everything else starts falling into place.

Decide on the date that’ll be your very last day ever in your current job. Circle it on the calendar. Now work back two weeks (or four, depending on your notice period). Write “hand in resignation”. Draft that resignation letter today, with your resignation-date at the top.

Your dreams of quitting will suddenly start to seem more real.

Work Becomes More Bearable
Surprisingly, the mere act of setting a date to quit can make your current life seem that bit better. When you’re having the week from hell at work, you can tell yourself “it’s just for three more months ... two more months ... one more month.”

When you know you won’t be staying much longer, you stop worrying about your promotion opportunities (or lack of them). And you don’t need to think about the horror of the annual Christmas party if you’re leaving by the end of November...

Your Plans Gain Focus
When you know you’ve only got, say, three months, your plans will start coming into focus. Perhaps you’ll spend a weekend doing some serious research about the area you want to go into. If you’re planning to freelance, you’ll find the motivation to use your evenings to begin building up a client base. If you’re starting a business, you’ll start looking into what steps you need to take. Maybe you’ll dust off that novel and start sending it out to publishers. Perhaps you’ll find the energy to play at local gigs again. If you’re thinking about going back into education, you’ll get down to writing those grant applications or going for those scholarships.

It’s all too easy for our dreams to be just that – dreams. Fantasies which, deep down, we know aren’t ever going to come to anything real. But putting your “I quit” date on the calendar takes those dreams out of your head and into the world.

You’ll Get Your Finances On Track
Lack of money traps many people in jobs they hate. If you’re deep in debt, or if your monthly expenses are huge, you might feel that you have no choice but to stay in the rat race. A firm date gives you something to work towards – and it helps you deal with having to budget and control your spending in the short-term.

Topics like debt, frugality and cutting monthly expenses are far too huge for me to go into here. Some great blogs on these subjects include Get Rich Slowly and The Simple Dollar. Both have huge archives of useful material, but you might particularly want to check out:

• How To Get Out Of Debt (Get Rich Slowly)


• 31 Days To Fix Your Finances (The Simple Dollar)


• One Hour Projects (The Simple Dollar)

Having a firm quit date means that you’ll be much more motivated to take small actions that add up: brown-bagging lunch, curbing your impulse spending, eating breakfast at home instead of stopping for a latte and muffin on the way to work, carpooling, having nights in instead of nights out... You could end up saving a huge amount on everyday expenses.

Finally ... Keep Yourself Psyched Up
Once you’ve set that date, you don’t want to lose the motivational rush you felt when picking it. I love reading books, ebooks and articles that are both motivational and practical, and which inspire me towards my goals. A couple of recent ones aimed at helping you leave the rat-race are:

• Jonathan Field’s Career Renegade (check out the Career Renegade blog, too)


• Jonathan Mead’s The Liberation Manifesto (free manifesto to download)

Do you dream of leaving the rat race? What would you rather be doing? When are you going to quit? Set a date today, and let us know in the comments...

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