I recently wrote an article on how to deal with confusion, and it seems like there are a lot of people going through this right now, so I thought I’d expand on the topic. This is a topic I hold near and dear to my heart, because just this past year, I’ve gone through a lot of confusion, conflict, and growth within myself.
In the end it has led me to a significantly better place. I’m happier, more at peace, and even more able to handle the confusion ahead.
It still isn’t easy, but it’s easier, much easier. When you stop fighting, you stop suffering.
One of the reasons people have addictions is because they experience pain and they want to escape.
While confusion is not the only pain they experience, it is certainly one of them. This doesn’t have to mean drug habits, it could be eating, watching TV, playing video games, and anything else that you feel the need to escape to in order to numb your pain.
The good news is that you can change. Research has now shown that your brain works like a muscle. When you stop feeding one habit, it slowly starts withering away, even if you try and fail over and over again.
I’m sure you know people who are in complete denial about what they have to do. You clearly see what they need to do, but they don’t.
Sometimes you have to allow people to have their own experiences, but you also have to notice how you yourself go into denial. We have an easy time looking at others and seeing what’s wrong, but the truly challenging part is looking inside.
- Poor Me
I used to be great at feeling like I was the victim, and that the world was against me. Luckily for me, I’ve let go of a lot of that.
There’s still some left that needs to dealt with, but I’m okay with taking one step at a time. This isn’t about perfection, it’s about constant improvement.
Do you go into poor-me-mode when you don’t know what to do, or what your future looks like? What would happen if you just made peace with confusion and uncertainty as states of being? Where did you learn that it’s bad to not know?
- Thought Loops
Thought loops is what I call it when you lie down and start playing movies in your head of everything that can go wrong. This seems more likely to happen when you feel confused and uncertain than at any other time, because if you don’t know what will happen, it will probably be bad, right?
What most people forget is that uncertainty opens up the field of possibility. And another crucial part is that even if something bad happens, how do you know that it isn’t exactly what you need to get what you want in the end?
You just can’t know, so you might as well accept it.
The more you can allow uncertainty and confusion to be, the better off you will be, because it is a time of learning on a deeper level than just your conscious mind. Each time you do this, you become more comfortable with it, and you notice that you don’t have to know everything all the time. You realize that it is through confusion and uncertainty that new growth happens, because if you want certainty, you are only reliving the past.
In the end, we all want uncertainty (and confusion), but we don’t know it yet.
So step boldly where you have never gone before, and, dare I say, enjoy it!
|Written on 1/07/2012 by Henri Junttila. Henri writes at Wake Up Cloud, where he shares his personal tips on how you can live the life you know you deserve. When you feel ready to take action, get his free course: How to Find Your Passion (And Build a Business Around It).|