Mental Mistakes That Make You (And Others) Feel Like Crap
In order to function in our society, we have a lot of processes, beliefs and generalizations that keep us efficient. The problem is that sometimes these automatic processes can get out of control, which happens a lot, and it keeps us doing something we don’t want to be doing.
There are many more mental mistakes than the ones below, but these will open your eyes and get you thinking in a new way.
Our minds are so used to labeling people, things, and experiences all around us that we don’t even notice that it’s happening.
When you see someone who is a certain way, you have labels for that, and it evokes certain feelings and sometimes behaviors in you that aren’t always desirable.
You may sit in nature enjoying the wind, as you look at all the beautiful things, and feel what it feels like to just be there.
If you do this and try to label everything, looking at a tree, making an intellectual exercise of the whole thing, you probably won’t feel as good as you could being in the now.
This is a big one, and one that often destroys relationships. A great example of mind reading is if you look at a friend or your significant other, and guess how they’re feeling and thinking.
You don’t really know how they are feeling and what is going on inside of them. You think you know; but you really do not.
The reason this isn’t a problem at the beginning of a relationship is because you don’t know anything about the person, so you don’t know enough to make these assumptions.
Be very aware when you’re trying to mind read people, because it usually doesn’t end well, unless you are psychic.
- Guilt Tripping
Guilt tripping basically refers to when you try to manipulate someone by making them feel guilty or any other way.
A lot of people do this, because they don’t know any other way to get people to do what they want to do. They don’t realize that they can just tell people what they are going to do, and let other people decide for themselves.
If you find yourself making others feel guilty, stop, and consider what you’re doing. Imagine doing what you’re doing for the next 10 or even 20 years in the future.
What kind of impact will it have on your relationships?
How will it affect how you will be feeling inside?
- Predicting Catastrophe
This is a big one.
How often have you found yourself imagining the worst possible outcome just because you had something not go your way? If you’re like me, it happens more than you’d care to admit, and it doesn’t make you feel good, does it?
It’s not always easy to get out of the pattern if you’ve been doing this for a long time. It has been ingrained in you, but just having the awareness of what you’re doing can help you let it go. There are a lot of healing modalities out there that are extremely effective in helping you let go patterns that are no longer helping you, such as NLP and EFT.
The same applies to the people you spend time with. You may know someone who always notices the worst in everything.
You tell them your grand plans and dreams, but they only tell you why you won’t be able to do it, and why you shouldn’t even try.
If you notice yourself doing this to anyone, just let it go, because it’s not worth the energy. It just makes you feel bad, and makes other people avoid you.
- Turning Processes Into Things
Turning processes into things happens largely because of how we use language, and it’s effective, but the problems begin when it keeps you stuck. For example, someone might say that they have trouble with their relationship, and it feels like this huge problem.
What they forget to become aware of is that a relationship is the process of relating to another human being, so the question isn’t how you can fix it. The question becomes how you’re relating to this other person that you don’t like, and how you want to begin changing it.
Do you notice how it frees up the energy and makes it feel lighter? That is the amazing power of the language we use and your mind. We are dynamic beings, so if you feel stuck, remember that it’s not that you are literally stuck, it’s the way you are keeping yourself in the feeling of stuckness.
Now It’s Your Turn! What kind of mental mistake(s) have you bumped into in your daily life, and how did you solve it (if you did)? I’m curious to know, so share in the comments below!
|Written on 7/23/2011 by Henri Junttila. Henri writes at Wake Up Cloud, where he helps people turn their passion into a thriving lifestyle business. When you feel ready to take action, get his free special report.||Photo Credit: pasukaru76|