Dumb Little Man | Tips for Life

After 7 years of marriage I can honestly say that I would do it again without changing much. Well, maybe we would have spent our money a little more conservatively but as far as the the decision on marriage - it was a perfect one.

Unfortunately, as I consider our acquaintances and their marriages, it's clear that all marriages are not created equal. Cheating and chronic fighting surrounds us and often times we are stuck in the middle as these people come to us for advice.

Here are a handful of things that have become common themes. My assumption is that you've already talked about religion, having kids, sex, etc. If not, you really need to open up the communication.

So before you say "I Do", make sure you have at least considered these:

• Ability to Compromise
  There are subtle changes that most people can make in their lives in order to make their spouse happy. This is part of the never ending compromise phase that is critical.
  
  When single, I'd watch football games at bars every Saturday and Sunday (and sometimes Thursday). Once married, I toned it down to one day. This is a manageable change that I was willing to make. However, had my wife insisted that I give up all sports entirely, I would have resisted and eventually resented her. That resent would have spread and ultimately influenced my overall attitude towards her.
  
  The same is true for just about everything. The willingness of the other person to compromise today (of the lack thereof) and your reaction to it will prove to be a precedent setting event. If someone is absolutely unwilling to compromise on minor issues, you should expect the same for larger issues. Don't be shocked and appalled by it when it happens three years from now- you knew this going in and you accepted it!
  


• Money
  Yes, we all want it but once we have it who controls it. My wife started direct depositing her paychecks into my account after 3 months of dating. I actually don't recommend that so soon but she was bad with money and she admitted it. For us, it was a matter of getting our credit into shape (we had 640 credit and back then, now its 800+) and we needed a strategy to pay off her college and my personal debt.
  
  Once that debt was paid off and we moved into our house, I turned the finances back over to her after a crash course in on time payments and credit. I never looked back. I enjoyed the strategy part of it but not the day-to-day grind of bill paying. She actually enjoyed it because as a stay at home Mom, it gave her the insight she needed to plan for grocery purchases, clothes for the kids, etc.
  
  So before you get hitched, what is your plan today and 5 years from now? Who is handling what?
  


• Who cleans the toilets?
  Toilets and the remainder of the housework is a constant issue. It all needs to get done and it's not the most fun. Setup a plan for this in the beginning. My suggestion is a weekly rotation - perhaps you'll come up with something different. The point of this is to set the expectation on both sides so that someone doesn't feel like a housekeeper. Chores need to be shared regardless of the work and income situation. Being a woman doesn't mean the wife has to handle at all.
  


• The plan
  In talking to people, it became pretty apparent that their initial goals were in line but after the kids are born and careers take off, there is a fork in the road. I agree that all plans change and there is no way to write a script for your marriage but a lot of the confusion can be removed by having a 1, 3, 6 and 9 year plan. You should have this conversation now and then revisit it all the time. This does not mean you only review goals at these intervals. These are simply due dates.
  
  I am often questioned as to why 1,3,6,9.
  
  • 1 Year Plan: This one is obvious. After the wedding, where will you live, where will you eventually live. Who handles what, what is the combined income, what can we afford etc.
    
  • At 3 years: You are no longer newlyweds and you are perhaps considering kids. Heck, you may already have a kid at this point. You need a plan for that, a plan for who works, who stays home, what type of daycare, etc. This is also around the time that your first condo or "couple's house" loses it appeal. What kind of house do we want? Where? Can we afford that? How are the schools? What is Plan B if someone gets fired? Do we know what utilities cost?
    
  • 6 years: We have all heard of the 7 year itch. Therefore, it stands to reason that you have a plan set with a deadline of 6 years. Where do you want the marriage to be in 6 years? Communication habits, sex life, careers...everything. Talk about it now and periodically consider making adjustments based on the the success of your approach. Plans are meant to be changed.
    
  • 9 years: Again, where do you want to the marriage to be in 9 years? Why? What will life be like? How many kids will we have by then? Are we sending them to public school? What if someone's parent dies? What is one of us becomes seriously ill?
• Holidays
  Just discuss how and where you will celebrate holidays. This is a battle for nearly everyone I know.


• Discipline
  Are we spanking the kids, are we talking and coaching or are we doing both? No matter how happy you are now, if you're against physical discipline and your spouse is not, you will slowly learn to resent and dislike him/her each time a spanking is doled out. Discuss it NOW and avoid a surprise.
  


• Ok, religion
  How important is it and how will we teach the kids?


• Communications, cheating
  I don't care how many conversations you have, no one will ever openly state that they "may cheat". A key here is to be undoubtedly sure that the precedent is set for open communication. If a wife is not happy, the FIRST action on her part should be to talk to the husband (and vice versa). The only way to do this consistently is to talk; not yell, not argue, but talk like civilized people. If you become enraged every time your spouse tries to talk to you, you are pushing away an opportunity to fix a problem. Take time out and actually LISTEN. Marriage is not an argument or a punishment unless you make it one.

There are clearly a lot of other things to consider. Bad choices are going to made regardless of how thorough you plan; that's life. You wouldn't go on a 1,500 mile road trip without putting some thought into it and your marriage should be thought of in the same way. By planning and talking, the aim is to minimize the possible obstacles by first identifying them and getting them out in the open before they reach a critical, war-type, level.

What do you wish you discussed or planned before tying the knot? Feel free to leave an anonymous comment - perhaps it will help others.

-Jay

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Are you trying to cut back on your spending, reduce your debts or increase your savings? A good place to start is by looking at your work-related spending, because:

• You spend more of your waking life at work than anywhere else
  
• Work is part of your routine (and routine, regular spending is one of the best targets for savings)
  
• The “surroundings” of work: your commute, and socializing with colleagues, often tempt you to spend unnecessarily
  

Here are ten ways to cut back on your job-related spending. I’ve listed these in roughly the order that they apply to your working day:

1. Eat Breakfast At Home
   Do you regularly stop at a cafe or coffee shop for breakfast? If so, you’re clocking up unnecessary spending (and quite possibly adding unnecessary fat and/or sugar to your diet). Set your alarm clock ten minutes earlier, and eat a bowl of cereal before leaving home.
   


2. Leave Your Cash And Cards At Home
   If you often succumb to impulse buys on the way to or from work, leave your wallet at home. (If you genuinely need money during the work day, then take the exact amount you need in cash.) This is a simple and foolproof way to cut your spending!


3. Carpool or Consider Public Transport
   If you drive to work, you’re wasting money each day on gas. Can you carpool with a colleague, or someone from your area heading in the same direction? Alternatively, consider whether public transportation would save you money (season tickets are more cost-effective than one-off journeys). If you live close enough, walk or cycle to work: it’s free and you’ll be getting in some exercise.


4. Invest in Long-Lasting Clothes
   Depending on your job, you may need to dress up smartly for work. It’s often a false economy to buy the cheapest clothing brands available – you’ll just end up replacing that suit after six months. Invest in good quality clothing that will last. Don’t forget to wash and care for clothes properly, too: check the labels for instructions, and you won’t end up shrinking one of your best shirts in the drier.


5. Brown-Bag Your Lunch
   It’s always going to be cheaper to prepare lunch at home than to buy it out, whether pre-packed fro a store, or at a restaurant. Sandwiches are an easy option, as are last night’s leftovers. Your office almost certainly has a fridge where you can safely store food during the morning – and many offices have microwaves, toasters, even ovens.


6. Don’t Be A Sheep
   One of the dangers of the workplace is that you’re around people – colleagues – who don’t necessarily share your values or who may be in a very different financial situation, and this can tempt you to spend unnecessarily. If everyone else in the office has an iPhone, you don’t have to run out and get one too. Similarly, just because your colleagues talk about expensive weekends away, don’t feel pushed into living a similar lifestyle.
   


7. Claim Valid Expenses
   How often have you lost a receipt or not bothered filing an expenses claim because it was only for a small amount? Those little expenses – perhaps travel or office supplies – do add up. Make sure you submit expense claims for everything you’ve spent that’s chargeable to work.


8. Take Advantage of Job Benefits
   If you work for a large employer, there are almost certainly some benefits that you could take advantage of. Many companies provide discounted membership at a gym chain, for instance. You might be able to get free eye tests or other health checkups – don’t end up spending your own money on these. Some companies provide free snacks or meals. If you’re really lucky, you might find an employer like Google:
   
   

   We provide a standard package of fringe benefits, but on top of that are first-class dining facilities, gyms, laundry rooms, massage rooms, haircuts, carwashes, dry cleaning, commuting buses – just about anything a hardworking employee might want.
   (“Benefits”, Eric Schmidt, CEO Google)



9. Go Straight Home After Work
   Do you get drawn into hanging around for “just one beer” after work? Do you find yourself heading home through the mall, where window-shopping turns into actual shopping? If you regularly end up spending money in the evening after work, get into the habit of going straight home.


10. Enjoy Your Job
    Finally, one surprising tip to cutting your job-related spending is to enjoy your job. Studies have shown that you’re less likely to spend excessively if you have a high level of job satisfaction. (See Job Satisfaction Can Reduce Excessive Spending, Debt). This makes sense: if you’re feeling stressed out or miserable at work, you’re more likely to end up blowing money on “fun” ways to unwind in the evenings or at the weekends.

Is your job costing you a lot of money? How do you keep your work-related spending to a minimum?

Written on 7/17/2009 by Ali Hale. Ali is a professional writer and blogger, and a part-time postgraduate student of creative writing. If you need a hand with any sort of written project, drop her a line (ali@aliventures.com) or check out her website at Aliventures.

Photo Credit: 신주리

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Don’t you just love 3pm? The boring meetings are mostly out of the way, the end of the day is within reach, and with any luck you’ve got at least some productive work under your belt. Perhaps you even managed a real lunch break for once.

And then there’s the other thing. The real reason you live 3pm. You know what I’m talking about, don’t you? It’s candy time! I mean, c’mon - isn’t that what the mid-afternoon so-called ‘coffee break’ is really for? You can admit it – I won’t tell anyone. After all, it’s not as though that one teeny-weeny candy bar is going to do you any damage. And of course you need some extra sugar in your decaf – you’ve worked hard. All that thinking and blog-hopping must’ve burnt up absolute VATS of calories!

Besides, everyone knows you can’t beat the 3pm cravings. It’s a known fact that mid-afternoon is munchie time. So you might as well just give in. Right?

Of course there is another way of looking at it – and it’s just a thought, mind you. But maybe, just maybe, I can show you a few smart tricks to outwit that devilish chocolate monster lurking inside of you. And who knows? You just could save yourself the calories, the guilt-trip, and the buck or two you outlay at the vending machine every day. Worth giving a go?

• Craving Buster # 1: Eat Breakfast.
  Ground-breaking advice, isn’t it? But when it comes to eating well and feeling great, the simple stuff really does work. And I know, I know – you don’t have time. You have to leave the house before dawn as it is! And you have the kids’ lunches to organize! Plus you have a morning meeting the second you walk through the door!
  
  The only problem with this is that your body won’t forgive you for having a busy life – it’ll punish you. Afternoon and evening cravings are nothing more than an urgent signal for nutrition, a sign that you’ve left things too late when it comes to quality food intake for the day. I don’t have to tell you that sugar is typically the first thing you reach for as a source of instant energy. Shame that it causes weight gain and a host of health problems. Not to mention an annoying desire for more of the darn stuff!
  
  The truth is that if you haven’t laid a good foundation early in the day then you’re setting yourself up for disaster. In fact, regularly skipping breakfast is directly linked to your risk of obesity. I’d say that’s worth getting up 10 minutes earlier for, wouldn’t you?


• Craving Buster # 2: Food Matters
  When it comes to laying a good foundation I think we both know that a bagel and a large’n’syrupy Starbucks is not really what I’m talking about. The food choices you make at any of your main meals play a huge part in your behaviors and energy throughout the rest of the day, and breakfast is of particular importance.
  
  According to Charles Poliquin, creator of the BioSIgnature hormone assessment system, and coach to Olympic gold medal holders in over 10 different sports, the first 50 grams of protein you eat each day is used to stimulate your natural detoxification pathways. This not only keeps you nice and clean on the inside, it ensures you get that metabolic kick-start first thing in the morning. So why leave something so important until lunchtime or even later?
  
  When it comes to breakfast, it’s important to include some protein along with some good fat. Not only will this keep you full far closer to the lunch hour, I guarantee you’ll notice a reduction in cravings come mid-afternoon. My favorite choices are poached or boiled eggs with spinach, mushrooms, and avocado. If you’re an oats or cereal person, try adding a soft-boiled egg on the side. You’ll be amazed how this simple addition dramatically changes your satisfaction levels over the day. Organic full-fat yogurts are also a good breakfast choice, but try to add fresh fruit rather than buying the flavored versions, which are typically full of sugar.


• Craving Buster #3: Manage Your Stress And Get Happy
  Did you know that chronic stress is directly related to comfort eating? And you thought it was just effective advertising that keeps leading you back to that candy machine!
  
  The truth is that your gut instinct is always to ensure survival. Seeing as stress is a reaction that evolved to help us deal with life-threatening situations (such as war or lack of food), it makes sense that it programs us to eat. What better way to up your chances of survival than to have you stock up on calories?! The scary thing is that your stress response is so effective that it actually starts up just at the thought of stress. And it’s not as though you start reaching for the green vegetables. Quite the opposite, in fact, because stress causes an instant ‘need’ for high-sugar and high-fat foods. Carbohydrates and sugars have the added benefit of causing serotonin (the feel-good hormone) to be released into your bloodstream, which is one reason why sugar binges tend to incite the desire for yet more sugar.
  
  With all that in mind I’d say you’ve never had a better reason to take time out for yourself. Managing the stress of an endlessly busy life is no easy task, but – like anything – it’s one you can achieve if you invest regular effort and thought. Why not start with just 5 minutes for yourself today? It could be as simple as taking your morning coffee outside and leaving your cell phone behind.


• Craving Buster #4 – Get Happy
  Managing stress is all very well (and if you manage to meet that goal every day then you’re a better person than I am) but it doesn’t necessarily go hand-in-hand with making you feel any better, does it?
  
  This is particularly relevant given that there’s absolutely stacks of studies showing that junk food cravings are an unavoidable response to negative emotions and poor moods. In theory this is easily fixed (Smile! Dance around! Act happy and you’ll be happy!), but the truth is it’s just not that simple.
  
  Low moods are often a combination of two things. Firstly, they tend to become a habit, a way of thinking that we can’t escape. And secondly, they’re a response to poor dietary and lifestyle habits. When you don’t take time out for yourself, when you forget what home-cooked food tastes like, and when exercise just seems like a long-ago dream then you really are setting yourself up for a tough ride emotionally. It takes quality nutrition to build hormones, and it’s your hormones that control your moods. Exercise, sleep, and waking relaxation all play a part as well. So you can imagine how easily a busy life and poor diet leads to a cycle of negative thinking and the constant need for instant gratification. Food cravings are a common outcome of this pattern, and can be difficult to break. Especially if you see the food as a treat, as something you’ve earned for having a tough day.
  
  One of the simplest ways I’ve found to brighten your day and turn a bad mood is to take action in a meaningful way. If you can get to the end of the day and know that you at least achieved one important thing, then you can go to bed feeling good about yourself. Do this day after day for enough days and you’ll spark a chain-reaction of higher-quality living. It doesn’t have to be something huge either. It could be a phone call to a loved one, 10 minutes of journaling or study, a donation to a charity, lending a helping hand to someone who needs it, a long-awaited investment in your health and fitness, or anything at all that puts a smile on your face or a sense of achievement in your mind.
  
  Why not schedule these meaningful tasks for 3pm? It just might be an effective distraction technique!
  


• Craving Buster #5: Give In To Temptation – But Do It Right
  So far I’ve given you some tried and tested advice for offsetting cravings before they have even a chance of snaring you. But what about those occasions when all else fails and you simply cannot stop picturing temptation at every turn? We both know that once the cravings set in, you’re pretty much done for. Willpower can only get you so far and whether your cravings are truly physical or they’re just in your head, chances are they’re only going to get worse until your body gets what it needs. But guess what? Sometimes it’s okay to give in. Just do it consciously. Make it a choice. And heck – if you’re going to go ahead and indulge, you may as well do it properly and enjoy the true satisfaction of real food.
  
  I see nothing wrong with the occasional instant energy of naughty processed foods, but it sure isn’t a great recipe for everyday health. From now on, nine times out of ten when you decide to give in, I want you to start thinking high-class indulgence. None of that cheap’n’nasty sugar that leaves you feeling bad but still wanting more. Try indulging with a small piece of quality cheese, some avocado with sea salt on thinly sliced sourdough, or some natural nut butter with celery sticks. I’d suggest going for fat or protein based snacks if you’re goal is still beating sugar-cravings. If you do choose something sweet, why not try some fresh berries or other seasonal fruit. Combine it with some organic dark chocolate and you’ll really be living. The best part is that all of these treats are actually good for you! It’s a myth that cravings can only be satiated with junk food.

From here on out the choice is yours. You have the knowledge and you now know what it takes. The 3pm slump might be a given in most workplaces, but it doesn’t have to suck you in every time. And wouldn’t it be a great feeling to cruise right through the afternoon and into the evening ahead without even thinking about sweet relief? Get started on these craving busters today and who knows? You might just find out you’re actually one of those annoyingly energized people after all!

Do you have any other tricks for curbing the cravings? Let’s hear ‘em in the comments section below.

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Disasters, particularly of the weather variety, roll through our world in late spring and early summer. It's easy to prepare yourself and your family, much harder to pick up the pieces once damage is done. Having lived on the Gulf Coast in the path of hurricanes like Katrina, Jeanne, and Gustav, I can tell you the old ounce-of-prevention cliché is right on.

Here are some tips from FEMA, NOAA and other government specialists about being prepared.

1. Understand the weather and non-weather crises that could affect your family and home. Talk about them often together in a non-intimidating way. Take a look at your home and region, getting to know your vulnerabilities to storm surge, flood, wind.
   


2. Consider subscribing to email alerts for storms, hurricanes, floods or earthquakes if your area is often at risk.


3. Designate a safe-room or safest area in your house and make sure everyone is aware of which area and why. If evacuation might be an issue, identify the places you can go, locally and distantly.


4. Make sure each family member knows escape routes and places to meet.


5. Appoint a friend or relative out of your area to be a clearing house of information. As each family member finds safety, they should call that designee who'll be your single point of contact.


6. Create a plan right now for what to do with your pets if you need to evacuate and remind everyone of that plan, often.


7. Put a list of emergency telephone numbers by your phones. Make sure your young children know how and when to call 911 and what to say.
   


8. Evaluate your insurance coverage periodically and remember that flood damage is not usually covered by homeowners insurance. Many insurance providers have redefined flood, so ask your agent. National Flood Insurance Program


9. Keep a stock of non-perishable emergency supplies in or near your safest area or safe room. Make a disaster supply kit and refresh it from time to time.


10. Buy a NOAA weather radio - do you know they come in wind-up, non-battery versions? If yours has batteries, replace them in June and December at the same time you do your smoke detectors.

Everyone in your family should take age-appropriate First Aid, CPR and disaster preparedness classes. Do it as a family and keep talking about how valuable it is to be prepared. You don't want your children, or you, for that matter, to live in fear or to feel anxious, and that's where preparedness comes in. If you have a plan and it's familiar to all of you, it'll kick in automatically when you need to take action.

Want to know more about the wind?
Read about tornados and being prepared.
Read about wind energy.

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Recently, I was lamenting that there is never enough time in the day for me to accomplish all that I need to. I know I’m not alone in this because many people’s refrain these days seems to be, “I’m so busy” or like me, “There is not enough time...”

Consider all of the roles we all play. For instance, in my life, I play the role of mother, wife, writer/consultant, cook, laundress, daughter, sister, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, friend, and last and usually least, me for me. With these myriad roles come myriad responsibilities and I’ve taken to beating myself up for not getting it all done. This creates a vicious cycle – by attacking yourself, you plummet your own self-esteem and energy and usually end of getting even less done.

It’s time to take a step back and realize that instead of focusing on all that we’re not getting done, we should be focusing on all that we are getting done. I call this the Celebrate the Small Victories approach. The intent is to give a little love to yourself for all of the hard work you put into each day. This will make for a much happier existence, boost your self-esteem by placing focus on the positive and likely make you even more productive and energetic as time goes on. You can’t lose!

Here are a few guidelines to get you started.

1. Make a list.
   That’s right, the age-old “To Do” list. It will get you organized and lay it all out for you. Do it on your phone, on your computer, a notebook you always have with you or a loose piece of paper. You’ll soon find your own list-keeping style. However you keep it, keep it close and easily accessible. This will be an ongoing list that you will want to refer to and tinker with regularly.
   


2. Include it ALL on your list.
   The big, the small, the seemingly inconsequential; it’s the small and inconsequential that will set you free. When you set out to celebrate the small victories, it all matters.
   For example, my list as it looks today includes the following: write this article; unpack from the weekend trip; get oil changed on car; call to make one-year check-up appointment for my daughter; do laundry; order a new laundry basket; go to grocery store; throw away my beyond-dead flowers; get a hanging basket filled with beautiful flowers to hang from the deck; call back Megan and Allison; write a condolence note; pick-up dry cleaning; get some exercise; and, get the mail (yes, my mailbox is only ten feet from my front door, but it still counts as something to do). Everything counts.


3. TCB.
   In case you aren’t familiar with Elvis Presley’s band’s name, it was TCB and TCB is what we all could use a little more of. TCB means Taking Care of Business and that’s the mantra you need to approach your To Dos. Start with one of the small or seemingly inconsequential things from your list and knock it out. Today may not be the day that you write that novel, but throwing in a load of laundry or making a doctor’s appointment has a different, but equally meaningful impact. Just think if you never did laundry...at least in my house, no one else would do it, so the fact that I do it makes a big difference in all of our lives! Tackling and giving yourself credit for all of these smaller TCB moments will help you start to realize how much you really do in a day.


4. Cross off/delete each and every thing you accomplish.
   Take enormous pleasure in this. It feels good to cross it off, even if it’s “only” getting the mail. And if it is getting the mail, you get to cross it off and then put it back on again for tomorrow’s list. The process in and of itself is therapeutic. It increases your sense of accomplishment and highlights your productivity, even if you’re the only one taking note of these small triumphs


5. Celebrate your small victories.
   Congratulate yourself for everything you accomplish each day. Whether the day has ended and the only thing I’ve been able to do is get to the mail, so be it. That is still something. Sure, I’d feel like a rockstar if I’d have sewn my children some new clothes, called everyone I’ve been innocently neglecting for the past year and worked on my Nobel Peace Prize speech, but the truth is, I’m probably never going to have a day in which ALL of that gets done. How big or how much you’ve done slowly starts to take a back seat to the simple fact that you are doing.

Whereas before you might have focused on all of those things you didn’t get done, you’re now opening your eyes to all that you did do. Reward yourself with kind words, telling your spouse or a friend what you’ve done and that it means something to you. Heck, even open up a bottle of good wine, put your feet up and relax until tomorrow comes. After all, you work hard, so you deserve to take a rest!

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Fairly recently here at Dumb Little Man, I wrote a post which shared my tips on clearing a massively crowded inbox. At the time, I had 5 email accounts and they all had thousands of emails into them. From the advice on that post, I showed how anyone in a similar situation can get the size of their inbox down, quickly and efficiently.

What I didn't touch upon in that article is how I managed to merge all of my inboxes together. I went from 4 that I would check daily, and 1 that I would check weekly, to only using one now every single day. With more and more people moving online each day, there are new services coming out to handle our needs and multiple solutions that people use.

My first email account was with my school, and then I moved to Lycos, and then to Hotmail (which was purchased by Microsoft). These days, as a webmaster, I use Google Apps to give me an email address that not only includes my domain name, but gives me all the features of Gmail.

In this article I want to share my tips on consolidating your inboxes into just one in order to make life a little easier.

Organise Each Account Before You Move Anything
Before you forward all emails to the one account you have chosen or import them anywhere, tidy it up first. You can find most of my tips on this here, but as a summary:

• Un-subscribe from email lists you no longer care about
  
• Turn-off unnecessary communications from social networks, forums and the like
  
• Search for phrases which you know will only show junk messages and remove them all at once
  
• Make sure you save your password and registration type emails before removing anything

Once you have your inbox clear, you can then look at consolidation.

Import All Necessary Emails
Now that things are tidy, you will want to move all important emails from each account into their final home. The process on how to do this will vary greatly depending on what type of email set-up you are using.

Some great guides for some of the most common moves can be found on the following sites:

• Moving from Hotmail to Gmail - Here
  
• Moving from Outlook to Gmail - Here
  
• Moving from Outlook to Thunderbird - Here
  

If you are using some other service or moving your emails in a different direction, a quick Google search will usually help you with your specific needs.

Forward Future Emails from Each Account
Now that all your emails are in one place, you still don't want to go back to other services to check for new emails. Before 'leaving' each account for good, you need to make sure that future emails each receives will all go to the same account.

You can do this in Gmail by going to Settings; Forwarding; Then enter your email address

You are also given the option to choose whether you want to keep incoming emails in this newly redundant account or simply forward to your new account and then delete in the old.

To forward Outlook emails somewhere else you can go to Tools; Rules and Alerts; Then create a new forwarding rule

Update Friends & Websites With Your Email Address
The solution of forwarding isn't very useful if you still have to open Outlook or Thunderbird everyday for emails to be forwarded to your final account. For this reason, make sure you tell your friends, co-workers and family about your change of address.

It might be best to do this by sending out a mass email.

Similarly, it's a good idea to update your email address on websites you use or lists you subscribe to so that you can guarantee proper delivery of your emails. Examples of this include your Facebook, Twitter, MySpace or online forum accounts.

Choose Your Email Signature Carefully
Some people have multiple email accounts because one is for business and one is for personal use. If that is the case, I recommend you keep things that way unless otherwise necessary. In my situation, I had multiple personal accounts that didn't really need to be separate.

I run a lot of websites and each have their own contact form, so I had to be especially careful about the email signature I choose. If people are emailing you about one thing and your signature is related to something completely different, it's likely that they will be confused.

See if there is an option in whatever client you are using to be able to switch between multiple signatures either manually or based on certain words that the email contains. This way you won't be sending out any confusing messages.

Have you had the pleasure of consolidating multiple inboxes? How did it go?

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How many times have you heard someone say, "Hindsight is always 20/20"? If you are like me, you hear it a lot and think it a lot more. Last year Jay wrote an article listing things he wished he'd known earlier. It got me thinking that the most crucial lessons in life and success aren't taught in books or written on blogs, but they are found by living life itself.

Sure, there may be nuggets of wisdom that we pick up from Dumb Little Man, Zen Habits, or Life Remix, but it is up to us individually to act upon them and learn the lessons. If it takes a failure for us to learn something important, so be it.

Here are 20 things that I personally came to understand and believe in. Your 20 could be totally different. Perhaps you only have 5, it doesn't matter. The key is that you learn from your life, your failures and your successes. Neglect any one of those and you are taking a rocky road to learning and personal development.

1. You must create and look for opportunities: Opportunities rarely ever come knocking on the door of someone who's not seeking them. You have to create and seek opportunities for yourself. You have to take the initiative to get the ball rolling and the doors opening.
   


2. Negativity will only bring more of it: When you focus only on negativity, obviously that's all you will see. You will not seek out positivity, and even when positivity comes into your life, you'll look for the negative part of it.
   


3. Where you are does not determine where you can go: It doesn't matter if you're homeless or living in a mansion, poor or rich, or if you have a 4.0 grade point average or "failing", it won't make any difference in the future. There are countless rags to riches stories to back this point up. If you have the drive and talents, you can go anywhere. You create your own limitations and horizon.
   


4. If you can't help others, you can't help yourself: Even if it's just to hold the door for someone or some other simple gesture, it will do wonders for your life. You'll feel great and you'll eventually be returned the favor sometime during your life, whether you realize it or not. If you don't want to help others, then others won't want to help you, and nor should they.
   


5. Follow your passion, money will follow: If you have passion and have fun doing your job, then I wouldn't consider it a job. You can focus on creating even more passion for that subject and money will eventually follow you. If you focus only on the money, it won't come because you're focused on the quantity of your work and not the quality.
   


6. Enjoy yourself: Have fun as much as possible, don't take everything so seriously. Push your worries aside and bring enjoyment closer.
   


7. If it were easy everyone would do it: This is why get rich quick schemes will never be true. If it was so quick and easy then everyone would be millionaires. Making money and accomplishing tasks is hard work, but well worth it.
   


8. Planning is good but so is being spontaneous: Planning ahead in business and in life is important but so is being able to quickly change that plan. Various people and events will get in the way of your plans, so you have to be able to modify or forget your plans at times. Be spontaneous once and awhile, it makes life interesting.
   


9. You have many talents: You may be a talented athlete or musician but you probably have ten more talents you don't even know about. When people find something they're good at, they only focus on that instead of seeing what else they can do.
   


10. Don't work hard without rewards: What's the point of working hard to follow your dreams if you aren't going to treat yourself along the way. Each little or big goal you accomplish should be rewarded with a proportionate treat, maybe a day off or a big slice of cake.
    


11. Money does bring happiness: As I said, you shouldn't be chasing money but when you do earn it, you know you've been accomplishing something. It feels great and brings you happiness because you know you'll have more freedom and time to do what you want.
    


12. Someone always has it worse: At times you may be having a bad day, but stop yourself and think about it; there has to be millions of other people are having a worse day than you.
    


13. You'll need others: Make as many friends as you possibly can and never burn bridges. You will need others for your success.
    


14. Being open-minded is the key to more knowledge: If you want to know more about the world you have to be open-minded. Give everything a chance.
    


15. Failure is great: One of the most important, if not the most important steps to success is failure. You have to fail at least once, but it's better if you've failed multiple times. You can learn so much more from your failures than you could any other way. And when you finally achieve success, you'll appreciate it so much more.
    


16. Most people are actually nice: This is something I've only recently realized. Most people are nice, but not usually to strangers. Once they get to know you and you get to know them, they will most likely seem like very nice people.
    


17. Words and thoughts control everything: What you say and think will ultimately become reality. If you say you're going to fail, then you will because you'll find a way to make it happen. If you say you're going to succeed, the same will happen, you'll find a way.
    


18. Your view is the reality: How you see an event or situation is how it exists. If you see something as tragic and negative then that's what it means to you. If you see something as exciting and positive, then that's what it is.
    


19. Inspiration and motivation are everywhere: I don't care where you are, there is something there that can motivate and inspire you. You can be at war is some far away country, in horrible conditions, but there will be something there to keep you going and strive for something better. You just have to recognize it and keep it with you.
    


20. You can change the world: Every single person has the ability to change the world whether directly or indirectly. When you change your life and the lives of those around you, you've changed the world. Small things that you do can make a huge impact on the world.

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