Dumb Little Man | Tips for Life

Some of us are lucky enough to have a naturally great connection with our parents’ parents. Perhaps you had a lot of contact with your grandparents as a child, or you see them on a very regular basis. Maybe they provide free childcare for you (or free baked goodies – my granny is great at this!)

Sometimes, though, you might find that you have to work a bit harder to build up and maintain a good relationship with your grandparents. Perhaps the generation gap seems, at times, almost insurmountable. Maybe you can never quite get them to understand what you do for a living (“so, dear, just explain this ‘internet’ thing again...”) You might also be struggling to establish cordial relations with your partner’s grandparents.

Here are some simple ways to get on well with your grandparents (or other folk of your grandparents’ generation):

Focus On What Interests Them
Whenever you want to establish a great connection with someone, you need to find out what their interests are, and use those as a starting point. This is hardly new advice; it’s an important principle in Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People (published in 1936).

So how do you find out what interests your grandparents? Chances are, you already know some of their interests. These might be hobbies such as woodwork, collecting or entering competitions. (If you’re trying to relate to older folk who aren’t relatives you know well, keep an eye out for books or magazines around the house for clues). Church and community topics are also often of interest.

Look for timeless interests that you can share with them: perhaps a love of the outdoors, or of good food! This is particularly helpful if most of your hobbies (and your conversations with your peers) revolve around cutting-edge technology or very recent inventions.

Teach One Another
A very powerful way to build up a great relationship is to ask your grandparents to teach you a particular skill. Perhaps you’ve always admired your grandma’s ability to make Christmas puddings, or maybe your grandpa is an expert carpenter. Older people have decades of knowledge and skills to pass on – make the most of this!

And don’t stop there: return the favor by teaching something in return. Perhaps your nan would love to learn how to use email, or maybe your great-uncle would secretly love to be able to compete with the younger generation on Guitar Hero...

Avoid Political/Religious Discussions
This isn’t always necessary, but depending on your own views and those of your grandparents, you might find it best to avoid discussing certain topics. If you have differing political views (if you’re liberal and they’re conservative, or vice versa), avoid letting family occasions turn into an argument.

This also goes for religious views. Perhaps you were brought up as a strict member of a certain religion, and you’ve since made up your mind to follow a different path. If your grandparents are still praying for you to return to their belief system, you probably don’t want to go in all guns blazing about why you reckon it’s a load of baloney. Be as respectful as you can be of their beliefs, even when you think they are wrong or misinformed.

Send a Handwritten Letter or Card
If you aren’t able to visit your grandparents very often, take the time to send an occasional letter or card. Ideally, write it the old-fashioned way, pen and paper, instead of using a computer (typed letters often come across as business-like or impersonal to older folk).

Let them know about all the news in your life – though keep business or work jargon out. As above, focus on topics of mutual interest: you might want to describe a recent trip to the theatre, or a community event. When sending a card, take the time to choose one with a picture or design that you know will appeal.

Do you have a great relationship with your grandparents (or other people of a similar age)? Has it arisen naturally throughout your life, or did you have to work at it? What tips do you have for maintaining a strong relationship?

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There’s nothing better than that feeling of waking up completely and utterly refreshed. Feeling so good that you virtually spring out of bed, already enthusing about how marvelous the day ahead is sure to be.

Of course it’s a shame that the last time you woke feeling that way was on summer break in your college days, but hey - that’s the way it goes, isn’t it?

These days, sleep is little more than something that cuts into your every-day hectic schedule. Sure, you love going to sleep, and you definitely acknowledge that you need to sleep at least a few hours, but the reality is that you simply cannot prioritize it above everything else in your life. I mean, you're already behind on Twitter messages as it is.

Besides, you function extremely well on just 5 or 6 hours thank-you very much. In fact, you’re quite proud of it.

Well sorry to burst your bubble, but what if I were to tell you that lack of sleep is one of the Western world’s foremost reasons for increased obesity, heart disease, and diabetes? That it’s physiologically impossible for you to ‘get away with’ a lack of sleep? The truth is that what you in fact have is a very massive and very demanding sleep debt. And the interest is mounting.

It’s funny how you can start to make just a little more time for something when you truly believe and understand how important it is. With that in mind, let’s take a look at some of the foremost reasons for a good night’s sleep. Read these and you’ll soon realize that not only can sleep transform your weight and your health, it just might save your life.

1. Studies have shown that staying up all night long (being awake for 17 or more hours) can leave you with a reaction response comparable to that of an intoxicated person with a blood alcohol reading of greater than 0.5. This makes you a definite danger to yourself and to others. Of course this lack of physical and mental control does not simply ‘happen’ at minus 8 hours. For every hour you stay awake you decrease your ability to focus and perform throughout the coming days.
   
   
2. Insufficient sleep results in an incomplete hormonal cycle. This means your body cannot produce daytime hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline when it needs them first thing. As a result, you depend on stimulants to keep you going, and set yourself up for another poor night’s sleep. You can’t escape the always tired but always wired cycle you’ve set up for yourself.


3. A classic symptom of this ‘tired but wired’ cycle is not feeling hungry in the morning, or feeling nauseous when you do eat breakfast. Never imagine that this is a convenient way to save on time and calories – the food that you eat first thing stimulates your metabolism and aids in detoxification. Without a good breakfast to line your belly you set yourself up for low energy and poor eating patterns the rest of the day.


4. A poor sleep cycle causes your body to create patterns that will enable you to handle the ongoing sleep of your go-go-go lifestyle. One of these patterns is an excessive release of stress hormones such as cortisol – particularly in the evening. Stress hormones allow you to keep going, but they’re also the ones that keep you up at night, and what’s more - they signal your body to store fat. And that’s regardless of how you’re eating or exercising.


5. Physical patterns such as the release of stress hormones are just one part of the equation. The other thing you need to consider is the compensation patterns that you yourself end up creating. An extra coffee here, a few pieces of candy there, the decision to have that mid-afternoon muffin. When you’re tired your defenses are down and it’s easy to think that these little things don’t count. But they could be the one thing stopping you from losing weight and improving your health.


6. Speaking of sugar, those mid-afternoon cravings are not just in your head. When you don’t have enough sleep your brain continually sends out urgent messages for quick energy. This is a survival instinct – it’s all about keeping you as alert and focused as possible. Will power alone can’t override these cravings - not when you’re fighting your own physiology. This just makes it harder to stick to your healthy eating goals, and the sugar slump doesn’t do you any favors either. The really scary part is that these daily indulgences can mean the hormone named insulin is constantly elevated and you’re setting yourself up for possible diabetes.


7. In fact, it’s not just the mid-afternoon cravings that’ll get you when you’re tired. The truth is that you’ll find yourself eating far more on a daily basis, and that you’ll tend to do it all day long. Breakfast aside, no doubt. You’ll also tend to make poorer choices – more processed foods, more sugary sodas, more starchy carbohydrates or fried foods. And it’s pretty tough to escape this cycle when your eyes are stinging and your motivation is at an all-time low. Leading sleep researchers T.S. Wiley and Bent Formby, Ph.D, in their book ‘Lights Out: Sleep, Sugar, And Survival’ show a close connection between a lack of sleep and the increasing existence of obesity in our society.
   


8. One of the most unfair symptoms of sleep debt is that inability to wind down come evening time. Of course it shouldn’t really be much of a surprise – not when you’ve spent the better part of the day jacked up on caffeine and sugar. And even if you haven’t, your nervous system is in overdrive which keeps you buzzing all night long but leaves you groggy and useless in the morning. There’s only one way out of this mess, and it’s not more coffee.


9. Back ache, neck ache, tummy ache, headache … when you’re tired it sometimes just seems as though everything hurts. According to Paul Chek, H.H.P, as stated in his book “How To Eat, Move And Be Healthy”, physical repair takes place while you’re sleeping, and it happens in the first half of the night – around 10pm-2am. If you skip those vital first few hours and hit the sack post-midnight with the alarm set for 6 or 7am, your body simply cannot rejuvenate your muscle cells, or indeed any of your cells. This leaves you physically weaker and with constant ailments.


10. Of course you could try going to bed on time and getting up super-early if you still can’t afford yourself a full 8 hours, but according to Paul you’d then you’d be skipping out on crucial psychological repair. This takes place approximately between 2am and 6am, and is directly linked to your mental focus, your moods, and your ability to maintain a positive mindset. Imagine the effects of a lack of sleep over time – small wonder so many people find themselves heading down the dark road of depression or anxiety.


11. It’s pretty hard to climb off the wheel of life when you barely have the energy to get through the day. Missing out on sleep could be costing you a lot more than you realize if it means you’re stuck in the rut of your day-to-day life and simply can’t even begin to contemplate what it would take to make some changes. Whether it’s testing the waters for a new career or a promotion, ending or beginning a relationship, or even just trying out that hobby you’ve been shelving for so long, chances are it’s not going to happen when you’re frazzled and burnt out.

Missing even half an hour of sleep every night adds up to an impressive sleep debt of 182.5 hours per year. There’s no short-cut to paying of this debt, nor can you outrun it’s constant and grueling effects on your health. Next time you tell yourself that you can get by, stop and consider just how big your sleep debt is right now. And consider that the nights are dark for a reason, that your body sends you physical and emotional responses to tiredness for a reason. Maybe it’s time to listen to those messages and see just what you’re missing out on.

The good news is that increasing your sleep by as little as half an hour, or even 15 minutes, every night can immediately and drastically improve the way you feel and function. For most of us it’s not possible to drop everything and implement drastic change, but the benefits of sleep don’t have to be a case of ‘all or nothing’. Why not treat yourself to an extra half hour shut eye tonight and start to soak up the health rewards right away?

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Just about everyone I know, at one time or another, has attempted to make fitness and exercise a part of their normal routine. We all know the general benefits from a sound exercise plan; strength training and regular exercise can improve ones life ten-fold. Some of the benefits include improved cardiovascular health, increased bone mass, a positive outlook on life, improved self confidence and self efficacy.

So if there are so many benefits, why do we have a hard time sticking to a fitness program for a substantial period of time?

In my experience, almost everyone needs structure, guidance and some positive reinforcement when the goal is to make long term, lifestyle changes. Here is the exact process I use to effectively set and reach my fitness goals.

Create A Plan and Set Reachable Goals
We have all heard the saying: if you fail to plan you are planning to fail. There is so much truth in this statement. Coming up with a plan is not hard but takes some serious thought. You may be interested in running 5 miles per week, beginning a strength training program, or simply being more active for a certain period of time each week. It doesn't matter how you want to go about it but you must develop a plan.

Big goals are made up of a bunch of smaller goals. You cannot reach your big goals until you conquer the small ones first. By doing this, you will create your own success story one step at a time.

• Write It Down – Your goals will be hard to reach if you don't have a physical reference to them. Writing down what you want to accomplish in the short and long term will allow you to get clear on exactly what you want. Writing your goals down also serves as a daily reminder and almost serves as a contract or commitment to yourself.


• Take It Slow – Start out with small goals and build upon them gradually. You must crawl before you walk and you must walk before you run. If your goal is to run a 6-minute mile and you haven't jogged once in the past year, you better start off with a few laps around the block for the first few weeks. Then as that gets easier you can begin going for weekly runs, trying to increase your duration each workout. In time your endurance and conditioning improves. The same applies for strength training, martial arts or any other fitness endeavor.


• Build Upon Previous Successes – Once you reach the initial goals you have set for yourself, you must make new ones. It's important to continually have something to work towards for maintaining your motivation. Logging your progress is essential as well. There is nothing like looking back on previous goals you have set and accomplished.

Build A Support System
While you can achieve your goals by yourself, it's always much easier with a support group. There are many ways to go about this. You can join a local fitness/athletic club, join a gym or look to the internet for a community of like-minded people.

• Forums and Online Communities – Many people turn to fitness forums for advice and guidance and most forums have sections where you can log your workouts. I have greatly benefited from these resources as it's an easy way to log my workouts plus receive feedback from those more experienced than myself when I need help or advice. Sometimes we may be doing something that could be improved or changed for the better.


• The Buddy System – Another way you can keep yourself accountable is by using the buddy system. Find someone else who has similar interests and make a commitment to keep each other in check. You can opt to workout together once or twice per week or set a time each month to go over your past workouts. It's really nice to have the extra encouragement from someone who is working towards a similar goal.


• Become A Blogger – One more way to improve your chances of sticking to your plan is by starting a personal workout blog. It doesn't have to be fancy and you don't have to be a great writer. Just commit to logging your workouts and thoughts about your new routine regularly. I know of many weight loss bloggers who are having much success with this type of support method. Many of them connect with others in the blogosphere who share the same goals. You will learn in time that it's easier to stick to a commitment when others are looking forward to your progress reports.

Baby Steps Eventually Become Long Term Habits
So everyone knows it takes roughly 21 days for something to officially become a habit. The more often you do something the more ingrained in your mind it becomes. Many of the world's top athletes are only good at what they do because they formed a habit of training regularly, not just because they had some supernatural abilities.

I am not implying you must train rigorously like an elite athlete, but think about what you could accomplish by adopting the same mentality and developing a workout plan similar in structure (although not the same frequency or intensity). In time, the newly formed habits would be routine and your quality of life would improve greatly. The benefits of getting up and doing something productive greatly outweighs sitting around and wasting away.

Lifestyle Changes
The ultimate goal is a permanent lifestyle change. Changing your habits and embarking on a regular workout routine can greatly benefit your life and the time it takes to build your unique workout regimen will pay off substantially, granted you actually do it.

If you have ever struggled with making an exercise plan a permanent habit, give the steps I have outlined a try. I am confident you will be well on your way to a much improved quality of life.

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You always thought working from home would be great. You could work in your PJs, listen to whatever music you wanted, drink your favorite brand of coffee, and, of course, get up at 7:55 and be at your desk before 8.00...

So when your boss agreed to let you work from home part of the time (or when you left to start your own business), you were excited. You just knew you’d be much more productive, and much happier.

And then, a little thing called “reality” kicked in. It’s not easy to stay productive and effective when you’re working at home, especially if you have family or housemates around. The techniques which served you well in the office environment don’t seem quite so useful when you’re working from your bedroom, or your sofa.

Here are five ways to make sure that your days spent working at home are more productive than days in the office.

1. Remind People You’re Working
   It’s surprising how many people will call for a chat, or drop in casually, when you’re at home. They’d never dream of phoning you at work to tell you about their vacation, or swinging by your office because they “were just passing” ... but when you’re working from home, it seems like you’re fair game.
   
   You may have to gently but firmly remind people that you’re working. If your best mate phones for a mid-morning chat, explain “I’m afraid I can’t talk now, but I’ll be free after five.” If your spouse or children tend to interrupt you, try working in a separate room, with the door closed. Explain that the sooner you get through your work, the sooner you’ll be free to pay attention to them!


2. Keep Work and Home Separate
   When you’re in an office that you have to commute to, you never consider cleaning your kitchen or vacuuming your hallway during the work day: it’s just not possible. But when you’re working from home, it’s all too easy to get distracted from work by the “home” tasks that you notice.
   
   Give yourself a lunch hour when you can pop out to the grocery store, walk the dog, clean the windows, etc. Don’t let these activities interrupt the course of your working day. If you’re struggling to decide whether something is a legitimate quick break from work or not, ask yourself what your boss would think if he saw you doing it on company time. (If you’re a freelancer, consider whether your clients would accept it on their bill.)


3. Take a Lunch Hour – And Have A Schedule
   Some work-at-homers might have raised an eyebrow at the “Give yourself a lunch hour” suggestion in the paragraph above. When you work from home, time tends to be much more fluid than in the office. Perhaps you start work late in the morning and work on until dinner in the evening.
   
   Your productivity will get a boost if you do take a decent break in the middle of the day. An hour is about right: long enough to relax and recharge, but not so long that you lose all momentum. Also, decide on a start and end time for work each day, and stick to them: you’ll find that you focus much better.


4. Keep In Touch With Colleagues
   Many people who work at home say that they miss the casual social interaction at work. Perhaps you miss having easy access to colleagues when you had a question, problem or idea; or perhaps you just feel isolated without the daily chats at the water cooler.
   
   Don’t just keep up with work by email: phone the office occasionally, too. Online tools like Twitter or Messenger can be an easy way to casually stay in touch during the day, but they can also end up wasting huge chunks of time!
   
   If you’re a freelancer, forge links with other people in your community (online or offline) who work in the same area as you.


5. Stay On-Task – Even Without Your Boss Watching
   Whether you can admit it or not, you’re probably a lot better at staying on task and focused when someone’s looking over your shoulder. If you have an eagle-eyed boss in the office, you’ll stick with that boring spreadsheet, even when you’re tempted to read blogs or Facebook.
   
   When you’re at home, however, your boss and colleagues aren’t checking up on you. It’s very easy to get distracted, or to procrastinate, especially when faced with tasks that are a bit dull. This usually ends up meaning working longer hours to compensate, though.
   
   If you find yourself getting easily distracted, pick one task, and tell yourself you’ll finish that one thing before you do anything else. Don’t check your email, or play around on Twitter, until it’s done.

If you work from home – some or all of the time – how do you stay productive? Are you already following the above tips? What techniques have you found that help you?

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For the last 5 months, I have been going to the gym 3 times per week. In the past, I would only visit the gym sporadically (whenever I felt like it) which I'm sure many of you can relate to. Now though, after going regularly for a few months in a row, I'm starting to notice more benefits then people usually associate with working out.

The main reason people go to the gym, of course, is for health reasons. People either want to lose a few pounds or they want to bulk up and build muscles. The latter was my primary aim and something I'm still focusing on, but there are other benefits I've gained along the way.

I wanted to share some of them today for people who feel they need that extra bit of motivation to put on some shorts and start exercising.

1. Learn to Appreciate Long-Term Growth
   As a society, we're constantly looking for the next quick fix. How to make thousands of dollars overnight, how to lose 10 pounds in a week, and other countless examples in various areas of life. We're a society that wants things, and we want them now.
   
   In reality of course, most things worth having need consistent effort over a long period of time in order to manifest. Whether you are increasing your income or wanting to lose weight, you need to be prepared to provide a consistent output. Results at the gym will not happen overnight, but if you stick to it, you'll soon see actual results of how long-term effort pays off.


2. Tame the Voice in Your Head
   You know the voice I'm talking about. The one that wants you to stop working and go out with your friends, the one that wants you to buy the latest gadgets so you'll look cool and the one that tempts you to go easy on a Friday...just because it's Friday.
   
   When you're working out, you will reach resistance points that will make you want to stop. Whether it is after a few kilometres on the treadmill or a few sets of lifting dumbbells, it will come. Usually though, we can still go on at this point and this is your chance to 'fight back' against the voice in your head and learn that you don't need to give in to its every desire.
   
   Over a decent period of time, this 'taming' of your voice and pushing through resistance will flow over into other areas of your life.


3. Learn to Focus on What You're Doing
   On any productivity, self improvement or personal development related website, you'll see lots of tips on how to cure procrastination. It is a topic that is written about frequently, simply because so many people suffer from this issue.
   
   Procrastination is often made easier by our tendencies to skip between tasks and telling ourselves to do something else for five minutes and come back to the work (which rarely happens). What I like about going to the gym is that when you're working out, your attention simply can't be elsewhere. When you're lifting weights or doing something else that requires a lot of energy, you have to fully focus on what you are doing.
   
   Similar to taming the voice in your head, if you can keep this up for a decent period of time, it will start to overflow into other aspects of your life.


4. Have a Constant in Life
   Something that is often an issue for people who are depressed, but can really affect anybody, is the lack of constants in our lives. We can go in and out of jobs, through one difficult relationship to the next, and feel the highs and lows of the financial rollercoaster.
   
   Regular visits to the gym are just one of many things that can become a constant in your life. It is never going to let you down and it will always be there when you need it. I have found regular workout sessions have added some stability and structure to my schedule that I may not have otherwise had.


5. Release Built Up Energy and Tensions
   As technology has advanced, more and more people are finding that their 9-5 careers involve working in an office and sitting in front of a computer all day. I work from home and even though I get to set my own hours, I'm still just sitting in a chair and getting on with my tasks.
   
   The great thing about going to the gym is that you can release all that built up energy and tension you may have accumulated throughout your day. This is probably not needed if you have a physical job or lifestyle, but for those who don't, it's a better way to channel your energy then letting it turn into anger or negativity.

Remember, you don't even have to go to a gym to get these extra benefits; it's perfectly possible to work out from home as well. Have I missed any benefits you can think of?

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"The proper function of man is to live - not to exist." -- Jack London

Too often we go through life on autopilot, going through the motions and having each day pass like the one before it.

That's fine, and comfortable, until you have gone through another year without having done anything, without having really lived life.

That's fine, until you have reached old age and look back on life with regrets.

That's fine, until you see your kids go off to college and realize that you missed their childhoods.

It's not fine. If you want to truly live life, to really experience it, to enjoy it to the fullest, instead of barely scraping by and only living a life of existence, then you need to find ways to break free from the mold and drink from life.

What follows is just a list of ideas, obvious ones mostly that you could have thought of yourself, but that I hope are useful reminders. We all need reminders sometimes. If you find this useful, print it out, and start using it. Today.

1. Love. Perhaps the most important. Fall in love, if you aren't already. If you have, fall in love with your partner all over again. Abandon caution and let your heart be broken. Or love family members, friends, anyone -- it doesn't have to be romantic love. Love all of humanity, one person at a time.


2. Get outside. Don't let yourself be shut indoors. Go out when it's raining. Walk on the beach. Hike through the woods. Swim in a freezing lake. Bask in the sun. Play sports, or walk barefoot through grass. Pay close attention to nature.


3. Savor food. Don't just eat your food, but really enjoy it. Feel the texture, the bursts of flavors. Savor every bite. If you limit your intake of sweets, it will make the small treats you give yourself (berries or dark chocolate are my favorites) even more enjoyable. And when you do have them, really, really savor them. Slowly.


4. Create a morning ritual. Wake early and greet the day. Watch the sun rise. Out loud, tell yourself that you will not waste this day, which is a gift. You will be compassionate to your fellow human beings, and live every moment to its fullest. Stretch or meditate or exercise as part of your ritual. Enjoy some coffee.


5. Take chances. We often live our lives too cautiously, worried about what might go wrong. Be bold, risk it all. Quit your job and go to business for yourself (plan it out first!), or go up to that girl you've liked for a long time and ask her out. What do you have to lose?


6. Follow excitement. Try to find the things in life that excite you, and then go after them. Make life one exciting adventure after another (with perhaps some quiet times in between).


7. Find your passion. Similar to the above tip, this one asks you to find your calling. Make your living by doing the thing you love to do. First, think about what you really love to do. There may be many things. Find out how you can make a living doing it. It may be difficult, but you only live once.


8. Get out of your cubicle. Do you sit all day in front of computer, shuffling papers and taking phone calls and chatting on the Internet? Don't waste your days like this. Break free from the cubicle environment, and do your work on a laptop, in a coffee shop, or on a boat, or in a log cabin. This may require a change of jobs, or becoming a freelancer. It's worth it.


9. Turn off the TV. How many hours will we waste away in front of the boob tube? How many hours do we have to live? Do the math, then unplug the TV. Only plug it back in when you have a DVD of a movie you love. Otherwise, keep it off and find other stuff to do. Don't know what to do? Read further.


10. Pull away from Internet. You're reading something on the Internet right now. And, with the exception of this article, it is just more wasting away of your precious time. You cannot get these minutes back. Unplug the Internet, then get out of your office or house. Right now! And go and do something.


11. Travel. Sure, you want to travel some day. When you have vacation time, or when you're older. Well, what are you waiting for? Find a way to take a trip, if not this month, then sometime soon. You may need to sell your car or stop your cable bill and stop eating out to do it, but make it happen. You are too young to not see the world. If need be, find a way to make a living by freelancing, then work while you travel. Only work an hour or two a day. Don't check email but once a week. Then use the rest of the time to see the world.


12. Rediscover what's important. Take an hour and make a list of everything that's important to you. Add to it everything that you want to do in life. Now cut that list down to 4-5 things. Just the most important things in your life. This is your core list. This is what matters. Focus your life on these things. Make time for them.


13. Eliminate everything else. What's going on in your life that's not on that short list? All that stuff is wasting your time, pulling your attention from what's important. As much as possible, simplify your life by eliminating the stuff that's not on your short list, or minimizing it.


14. Exercise. Get off the couch and go for a walk. Eventually try running. Or do some push ups and crunches. Or swim or bike or row. Or go for a hike. Whatever you do, get active, and you'll love it. And life will be more alive.


15. Be positive. Learn to recognize the negative thoughts you have. These are the self-doubts, the criticisms of others, the complaints, the reasons you can't do something. Then stop yourself when you have these thoughts, and replace them with positive thoughts. Solutions. You can do this!


16. Open your heart. Is your heart a closed bundle of scar tissue? Learn to open it, have it ready to receive love, to give love unconditionally. If you have a problem with this, talk to someone about it. And practice makes perfect.


17. Kiss in the rain. Seize the moment and be romantic. Raining outside? Grab your lover and give her a passionate kiss. Driving home? Stop the car and pick some wildflowers. Send her a love note. Dress sexy for him.


18. Face your fears. What are you most afraid of? What is holding you back? Whatever it is, recognize it, and face it. Do what you are most afraid of. Afraid of heights? Go to the tallest building, and look down over the edge. Only by facing our fears can we be free of them.


19. When you suffer, suffer. Life isn't all about fun and games. Suffering is an inevitable part of life. We lose our jobs. We lose our lovers. We lose our pets. We get physically injured or sick. A loved one becomes sick. A parent dies. Learn to feel the pain intensely, and really grieve. This is a part of life -- really feel the pain. And when you're done, move on, and find joy.


20. Slow down. Life moves along at such a rapid pace these days. It's not healthy, and it's not conducive to living. Practice doing everything slowly -- everything, from eating to walking to driving to working to reading. Enjoy what you do. Learn to move at a snail's pace.


21. Touch humanity. Get out of your house and manicured neighborhoods, and find those who live in worse conditions. Meet them, talk to them, understand them. Live among them. Be one of them. Give up your materialistic lifestyle.


22. Volunteer. Help at homeless soup kitchens. Learn compassion, and learn to help ease the suffering of others. Help the sick, those with disabilities, those who are dying.


23. Play with children. Children, more than anyone else, know how to live. They experience everything in the moment, fully. When they get hurt, they really cry. When they play, they really have fun. Learn from them, instead of thinking you know so much more than them. Play with them, and learn to be joyful like them.


24. Talk to old people. There is no one wiser, more experienced, more learned, than those who have lived through life. They can tell you amazing stories. Give you advice on making a marriage last or staying out of debt. Tell you about their regrets, so you can learn from them and avoid the same mistakes. They are the wisdom of our society -- take advantage of their existence while they're still around.


25. Learn new skills. Constantly improve yourself instead of standing still -- not because you're so imperfect now, but because it is gratifying and satisfying. You should accept yourself as you are, and learn to love who you are, but still try to improve -- if only because the process of improvement is life itself.


26. Find spirituality. For some, this means finding God or Jesus or Allah or Buddha. For others, this means becoming in tune with the spirits of our ancestors, or with nature. For still others, this just means an inner energy. Whatever spirituality means for you, rediscover it, and its power.


27. Take mini-retirements. Don't leave the joy of retirement until you are too old to enjoy it. Do it now, while you're young. It makes working that much more worth it. Find ways to take a year off every few years. Save up, sell your home, your possessions, and travel. Live simply, but live, without having to work. Enjoy life, then go back to work and save up enough money to do it again in a couple of years.


28. Do nothing. Despite the tip above that we should find excitement, there is value in doing nothing as well. Not doing nothing as in reading, or taking a nap, or watching TV, or meditating. Doing nothing as in sitting there, doing nothing. Just learning to be still, in silence, to hear our inner voice, to be in tune with life. Do this daily if possible.


29. Stop playing video games. They might be fun, but they can take up way too much time. If you spend a lot of time playing online games, or computer solitaire, or Wii or Gameboy or whatever, consider going a week without it. Then find something else to do, outside.


30. Watch sunsets, daily. One of the most beautiful times of day. Make it a daily ritual to find a good spot to watch the sunset, perhaps having a light dinner while you do so.


31. Stop reading magazines. They're basically crap. And they waste your time and money. Cancel your subscriptions and walk past them at the news stands. If you have to read something, read a trashy novel or even better, read Dumb Little Man once a day and be done.


32. Break out from ruts. Do you do things the same way every day? Change it up. Try something new. Take a different route to work. Start your day out differently. Approach work from a new angle. Look at things from new perspectives.


33. Stop watching the news. It's depressing and useless. If you're a news junky, this may be difficult. I haven't watch TV news or read a newspaper regularly in about two years. It hasn't hurt me a bit. Anything important, my mom tells me about.


34. Laugh till you cry. Laughing is one of the best ways to live. Tell jokes and laugh your head off. Watch an awesome comedy. Learn to laugh at anything. Roll on the ground laughing. You'll love it.


35. Lose control. Not only control over yourself, but control over others. It's a bad habit to try to control others -- it will only lead to stress and unhappiness for yourself and those you try to control. Let others live, and live for yourself. And lose control of yourself now and then too.


36. Cry. Men, especially, tend to hold in our tears, but crying is an amazing release. Cry at sad movies. Cry at a funeral. Cry when you are hurt, or when somebody you love is hurt. It releases these emotions and allows us to cleanse ourselves.


37. Make an awesome dessert. I like to make warm, soft chocolate cake. But even berries dipped in chocolate, or crepes with ice cream and fruit, or fresh apple pie, or homemade chocolate chip cookies or brownies, are great. This isn't an every day thing, but an occasional treat thing. But it's wonderful.


38. Try something new, every week. Ask yourself: "What new thing shall I try this week?" Then be sure to do it. You don't have to learn a new language in one week, but seek new experiences. Give it a try. You might decide you want to keep it in your life.


39. Be in the moment. Instead of thinking about things you need to do, or things that have happened to you, or worrying or planning or regretting, think about what you are doing, right now. What is around you? What smells and sounds and sights and feelings are you experiencing? Learn to do this as much as possible through meditation, but also through bringing your focus back to the present as much as you can in everything you do.

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