I'm ceaselessly amazed at people who attract negative vibes like they attract useless clutter yet they fail to understand their deadly juxtaposition. Negative vibes, either verbal or non-verbal, attract stress from others that attract negative vibes. It's a toxic cycle that never ends.
Needless to say, these people live lackluster lives at best. They accuse circumstances for their measly socio-economic condition. In reality, their body and language, both create circumstances leading to their poor state.
I am a hotelier and an astute student of human behavior. I have a habit of watching others, including my employees, as they interact with my customers. What follows is the list of behavior patterns one should avoid to get resounding "NO" from others.
Verbal Negative Vibes
- Word wobbles: I once interviewed a gentleman for a sales director position. When I asked why he should get hired, he said, "I've gotta lots of experience and I'm gonna be the best salesman." When I offered him lunch, he said, "I already had a samwich." When I asked him if he knew the sales director of the nearest hotel, he said, "I dunno."
I never talked to him again. This person was not interested in increasing the position of the relationship, was wishy-washy, and wasn't well spoken. Be direct in your answers, speak clearly and with authority if you want to make an impression and get a positive response.
- Double trouble: This one is lethal, it attracts twice as much negativity because it really shows your low intelligence level. I once heard one of my front desk clerks saying, "I don't got none," when customer asked for a non-smoking room. Hearing that grammatical nightmare was akin to being punched square in the stomach. He looks nice and he's a very capable man, yet he attracts negative vibes with his mutilated words and lack of basic grammar. He's now back at school learning basics of English.
- Sexiest Stifles: I received a phone call once at midnight. The caller was a woman who was outraged with the front desk clerk. "I'm mad as hell because the agent who checked me in said, goodnight girl, please call me if you need anything, sweetie, " she sputtered. "First, I'm not a girl and second, what does he mean by "You need anything sweetie". I quickly apologized for the follies and offered her a free room for our stifles.
Being friendly and hospitable doesn't mean treating everyone like your best friend. Keep things professional despite the relationship you believe you have with someone.
- Deadly "You" turns: Once a guest asked for the refund at the checkout. I was in the office eavesdropping on the conversation. "I couldn't sleep all night. I've heard noises all night from the room next door." "Why didn't you call us," the front desk clerk said in an attempt to avoid giving any refund. "I did but no one picked up the phone," he said. "You are wrong, I was here all night," said the front desk clerk to fluster the guest with intense negative vibes.
I intervened on this one and I apologized to the guest for the deadly "You" turns. Being accusatory is a sure path to no where.
Non-verbal mistakes are even worse as they tend to exasperate others with anger and confusion. This happens from the body language that contradicts the message.
- Facial follies: One of my employees asked to have a private meeting. "Is everything alright Kevin?" I asked by looking at his stern facial expression. "Well, that's the problem," he continued. "When I check people in, they ask the same question, 'Is everything OK?'." "What's your response, Kevin?” "Yes, I am OK. Why are you asking?" They'd say,” Because you look upset."
If you refuse to smile and you look miserable, you will be because you are bringing everyone around you down.
- Body blusters: We engage in bodily gestures that attract negative vibes without vouching a single word. Has the person you are talking to ever pounded his/her fists on the table or crossed their arms in the middle of the conversation? If so, you've felt the negativity from that person without them even saying a word.
I once met with a salesman who wanted to sell room supplies. As I walked in the lobby, I saw him standing like "John Wayne" with his feet vary far apart and his hands on the hips. Without saying a word, this guy was being confrontational. Needless to say, I told him big "NO".
Human behavior can create havoc and destruction if we fail to recognize the sources that attract negative vibes. Try this test with a pocket full of dimes. When you attract a negative vibe, take a dime and put it on your desk. At the end of the day, count them. You'll both be amazed and terrified with the behavior that deprives you of the best life you can live now.
I'd love to learn more ways to attract negative vibes; do you have any to share?