As a child, my husband's holidays were unfortunately filled with family wars and most festivities ended with people throwing cocktails, screaming, crying, etc. It was a nightmare and no I am not exaggerating (police have actually been called before).
Fast forward the story and here we are: 33 years old, 2 young kids, a cat, etc. So our lives have changed but the invite list to the holiday events has not. All those trouble making relatives are still around and they are all invited which means it's our turn to play referee again.
My largest concern is getting people to leave once the night is over. Letting people sit around chatting for hours must be avoided because inevitably someone has to make an ill-advised comment which turns the house into a Jerry Springer episode.
Here is what I have been doing but I'd love to hear some other ways that you politely get people out of your house. Please note that with an average party, you will have to use at least 2 of these ideas because none of them on the list will work for everyone.
- Begin cleaning - I've done this before and it works especially when you pull out the vacuum as a last resort. Start by clearing the dessert dishes, coffee cups, etc.
- Doggy Bag - Begin passing out leftovers in Tupperware. My mother-in-law always did this exactly 60 minutes after dinner was over. It implies that the guest should leave to get the food in the fridge. It tends to work and most people are gone 10-15 minutes later.
- Laundry - Bring down a basket of laundry. Enough said, people want no part of that.
- Oprah - Put on a show that you know the guests hate. If you are trying to get rid of men, put on Oprah or Dr. Phil. If it's women, put on ESPN. If you want everyone out, turn the TV off and slowly start shutting off lights.
- Yawn repeatedly - In order for this to work you have to do it in front of the people that will take pity for you. If the guys are having a good time sucking down Miller Lite, they are not going to care about your yawning. Put on the act in front of their wives.
I think you get the idea. If anyone has any other tips, let me know. We have guests arriving at 2:00 and if they are not out by 6:00 or 7:00, it gets nasty.
Marie (Jay's wife)
